Your FGMIL tells you that it's one thing if people are family but you should not invite all your family that you are not close too. She was telling my guestlist is too high. My FI is one of three kids and on has an aunt with 2 kids and his grandparents and like five cousins in his close family. Meanwhile my mother is one of eight kids and I am close to all of my 27 cousins and my dad is one of seven and of coourse I am inviting my aunts and uncles but I am only inviting the cousin's I speak to which in this case is one. I feel why am I justifying this list to you when you are not contributing a dime nor did I ask you too or ask for your opinion. I of course could not go off on my FGMIL like that. How dear she presume who I am close to? Yes we are paying for everything and have not asked for nor been offered a dime.
haitianbeautie
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Re: Would this bug you
Don't listen to her I'm in the same boat and if your footing the dime then let her know whose the boss!
FutureJOC
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Re: Would this bug you
Are you and FH paying for this wedding yourself? If so, then don't listen to a word anyone else has to say. It's your money and if you want to invite a certain amount of people that's yours and FH's decision.
dbs244
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Re: Would this bug you
That would bug me too, but try not to let it get to you. You invite who you gotta invite
FutureMrsLots
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Re: Would this bug you
You can tell her what I told my FMIL. I'll ask you your opinion when I need it until then keep it to yourself, unless of course you feel like contribuiting anything to this wedding.
I don't claim to be nice
jenn_eric
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Re: Would this bug you
We had the opposite issue where FFIL was insisting on inviting everyone under the sun, even though FH and I have NO clue who they are. The way we resolved it was that since we're paying for it we're deciding the guest list. So that's my advice to you. If you're paying for it, you decide. If someone else is paying then they really have the final say (but if the latter is the case then you just have to show them that you are close and it's really important to you for them to be there).
Good luck.
mrsq2be
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Re: Would this bug you
I agree with everyone - if you are paying for it and she is nto contributing, then she has no say. I keep telling that to my mom... We are paying for this wedding, therefore WE have the ultimate say in whats going on!
harts2976
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Re: Would this bug you
Don't worry about it. It's you decision. If they are paying then they should let you do what you want with the wedding. Right now our wedding list is 240. about 50 is him the rest is my friends and family b/c I have a huge family!!! do whats best for u
alicia6650
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Re: Would this bug you
You, know I am sure the intensions were good, but there is no one who can know your relationship with your family but you. And to be completely honest, if you wanted to invite family that you aren't even THAT close with because you want to have a big celebration of a wedding, since you guys are paying for it, that would be ok too.
Never feel like you have to justify things to anyone. And wouldn't you rather think to yourself 'oh man, that was a lot of people!!' rather than 'wow, I wish we had invited -insert family member-', you know?
Notwedyet08
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Re: Would this bug you
Don't listen to them-let it go in one ear and out the other.
Are you & FH paying for everything yourselves? then you have all the say. If you Mom or his family was helping pay; then i'd respect some of their wishes on who to invite (but not on who to exclude).
mybabylovesmoi
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It would definitely bug me. Especially if she wasn't paying for anything.
My parents are putting their 2 cents in regarding guest list and who they want to invite but I have to listen somewhat since they are contributing
May 2010 Bride
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I am going thru the EXACT same thing......
My FMIL and mother agreed to split the reception down the middle. The day they had to go make the payment my FMIL blindsided my mother and told her that her list was way too big. She had two options either cut her list or pay for the extra people.
So sorry her side is small.... and she has NO relationship with any of her cousins. My side of the family, is HUGE (irish catholic) and I grew up with all my 2nd cousins!!!!
I basically told her, to bad that my moms list is larger. There was NO way we were cutting it and she had to get over it!!!
Needless to say she was NOT happy with me. FH talked to her (what a concept) and explained to her that my family dynamic is different.
VCanizalez
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Re: Would this bug you
Dont listen to her... THIS IS YOUR WEDDING right????
She (and everyone else) already had their Wedding... So now, Enjoy YOUR WEDDING
MrsandMrFuller
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Re: Would this bug you
honestly what matters to me is who is paying for the wedding? This is why FH and I are paying for our own wedding so we wouldn't have this kind of problem...Usually when parents for weddings they tend to put their two senses into things like this just because after all is 'their money'
Talk it out and good luck
TheFutureMrs2011
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WeezyGirl2354
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You are learning a very valuable lesson very early on - people are going to come at you from all directions w/ their opinions - everyone has one.
This is your day - and you are going to want the people that mean the most to you there so you have to do w/ makes you and FH happy.
Joeswifey2B
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its your wedding!!!! and you should be surrounded by everyone you love and want to be there!!!
SimHawk8
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Yes we are paying everything ourselves. But I really did not want to come at her that way. I know it's not her business but I want to be respectful and she wants until my FI out of the room and earshot to go into this. Really. I'm pretty much over it.
SimHawk8
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Re: Would this bug you
Posted by FutureMrsLots
You can tell her what I told my FMIL. I'll ask you your opinion when I need it until then keep it to yourself, unless of course you feel like contribuiting anything to this wedding.
I don't claim to be nice
She'd have a heart attack. I don't feel she goes to my FH with this nonsense.
adelya21
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Re: Would this bug you
I totally agree! Its your wedding that you two are paying for so people can share their opinions all they want but they won't be heard. lol
Posted by MrsandMrFuller
honestly what matters to me is who is paying for the wedding? This is why FH and I are paying for our own wedding so we wouldn't have this kind of problem...Usually when parents for weddings they tend to put their two senses into things like this just because after all is 'their money'
