would u ever move out of state for a guy?

I moved to a different country for a guy. If you asked me now if I would do it again. NO. I would never engage in a long distance relationship either.

I would really want to weight how serious the relationship is, same goals, etc..

I moved from NY to Florida for/with a guy when I was 23. His plans in FL fell through, we tried long distance, broke up, I moved back 9 months later.

Would I do it again? For a boyfriend, absolutely not. But I guess if you're ever going to do it, do it when you're young and always have a backup plan.

no way - i would only move for my husband.

and i would still be heartbroken

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Posted by stephanielyse

I did. I was living in NY, he was in CA. We did long distance for 9 months. He couldn't move to CA for reasons beyond our control. I was living with my parents and had an okay job. I work in entertainment, so LA held a lot of career possibilities, so I moved out here and moved in with him. Seven months later we were engaged and less than a year after that we got married.

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What a great story! I just wonder how many are lucky like you...

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Posted by pauls bride

well my biggest issue with it is moving away from my family. I am young and unattached, have not started 'my career' yet but i am just scared to move away from my family. i am so confused at what to do.

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Moving from my family turned out the part that I missed out the most.

I married the guy (1st husband) but found myself really depending on him emotionally due to the fact that I had no friends and no family. In time, I made friends but I never got my family with me.

When my marriage fell apart I moved to NY (from NC where I lived with him) to be in an environement that I grew up with (big City!). It's was my way to regain some of the roots I had lost in the process.

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Posted by sr081906

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Posted by pauls bride

well my biggest issue with it is moving away from my family. I am young and unattached, have not started 'my career' yet but i am just scared to move away from my family. i am so confused at what to do.

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Moving from my family turned out the part that I missed out the most.

I married the guy (1st husband) but found myself really depending on him emotionally due to the fact that I had no friends and no family. In time, I made friends but I never got my family with me.

When my marriage fell apart I moved to NY (from NC where I lived with him) to be in an environement that I grew up with (big City!). It's was my way to regain some of the roots I had lost in the process.

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I would think to some extent, who you are, is where you grow up. When you take someone out of that element, especially when they're not sure or ready can really be a detriment. I would think to some degree you 'lose' who you are.

ive been job hunting and many interviews have been out of state. even though my FH works on LI he says he will quit his job and move if i find my dream job somewhere else. if it were the other way around and i had an amazing job here, i dont think i would be as understanding. i would never ever consider it if it werent my FH (officially anyways). you should follow your gut, and as cliche as it sounds, it will work out how it was meant to be.

DH moved out of state for me.
not that NJ is so far from LI....but still....

i owe him big for this!

Depends on the guy and the reason.

For example... if my fiancee had asked me to move to a different state with him while we were dating - before i was pregnant. I would have said no. I knew I cared deeply for him - but leaving my life is a big step when all you have is hope that it will last.

NOW - 2 kids, a house and a wedding in one month later - I would move to the ends of the earth for him. But we wouldn't move anywhere unless we both agreed on it. I mean - if he came home one day & said 'Hey I am tired of the trees in the back yard and I want to see what it is like to live in Idaho.' I would laugh and tell him he better have a drink and rethink. But if he came home and said 'I have a job opportunity that is amazing and it can mean the realization of my dream to move next month...' Well then we would weigh the pros and cons and if he REALLY wanted to go - i would go with him.

I think it depends on the seriousness of the relationship... have you talked about marriage? I would not want to uproot my life for someone if I wasn't 99.9999% sure I would have a future with him.
Does he already live in the other state? I would consider attempting the long distance thing for ahwile and see how that works out. Long distance can work if the two people are really committed to each other and if at some point one of the two is willing to relocate.

I moved after four months of dating. I knew he was the one and I had to be with him. Three years later we're engaged and everything worked out.
In my head I couldn't live without him so I moved to be with him. However I was already not living in NY where my family lived so that's a bit harder.

How far away does he live?

Like many people on this thread have already stated - there's a lot of factors that go into this decision.

- How serious is the relationship?
- How easy/difficult will it be for you to get a job?
- Are you okay with moving away from friends and family?
- How outgoing are you? Is it easy for you to make new friends, because you don't want to be 100% dependent on him.
- Do you have anyone out there already?
- Most importantly - do you want to? It seems like a simple question, but I think a lot of people forget to really consider this.

I can't say I've ever really done this, although the guy I was dating in college definitely influenced where I accepted my first job (although it didn't hurt that it was back in NY where my family is. I was also considering Boston.) Sometimes I wonder how things would have been if I ended up in Boston, but I don't regret it. BUT, I always talk about moving out of the NY area, live in NJ currently, and love meeting new people. It would be easy for me to move just because of certain aspects of who I am. I love my family, but don't mind seeing them once a month or every other month. If you can't do that - you probably shouldn't move.