Would you....

be upset if FH's family forgot your birthday??? My birthday was this past Saturday & FH parents didn't even call to wish me a happy birthday. His middle sister (who is one of my BMs) sent me a message through Facebook no call not even a text a FB message. But when FH birthday was coming my mom was asking weeks ahead what she should get for him. I just feel like no matter how nice I am to his family they will never accept me, this isn't the first time they have made me feel crappy. His oldest sister has issues with me & has said alot of nasty things about me for no reason & I think alot of the issues with his family stems from this. I am just tired of constantly being nice to them & am done being the nice guy- FH thinks I am over reacting. FH is very mellow & thinks ignoring bad situations makes them go away so he won't say anything to his family.

Thanks for listening to me vent-feels better to get it off my chest!!

I am SO sorry his family isn't as welcoming as you and your family are. That's so frustrating. I'd continue to be nice to them, but I do think your FH should say something. Doesn't have to turn into a huge thing, but if they're disrespecting his fiance, I think it's an issue and should be brought up.

Hope things get better for you!

First, I hope you had a happy birthday! I am sorry that they didn't remember....I have sort of a similar situation; my parents get FH nice birthday gifts every year. Most years FMIL does not acknowledge me (this year I did get a 'happy bday' on fb).... FFIL and FSMIL also only ever say it on fb. I know FH's brother's wife (married barely a year) gets gifts... at least last year, from at least one of the parents... which makes me feel like ***? lol. It does upset me and make me feel like I will not ever be a 'real' part of the family, the way my FH is treated in my family (my dad says he gives him the same gift he would give his son b/c he will be his son...).


Oh well. It sucks, but I think all you can do is tell FH how it makes you feel, and suggest that he remind his parents of your birthday sometime before (thats why FMIL remembered this year, he mentioned to her 'oh we're doing such and such for her bday' or whatever) to prevent you from feeling this way next year!

yes, I would be mad and even more angry that he wont say anything.

Sorry, that stinks

Sorry that they forgot I'd be upset too. My FH's brother planned a vacation with his g/f for my Birthday....I'm not too happy about that, but if he at least calls I won't be so angry I guess

My birthday was Saturday as well and I have the oppositte. FH family celebrated with me on Friday night. They all got me cards and gifts.


My family didn't do anything for me until yesterday. My sister baked a cake for me.

Happy Birthday to us though hun!!!!

Forgot your bday ?!!!? Id be upset but thats just me lol... In my family all the 'in-laws' are treated like family... My cousins wife is absoutely treated like any of my other cousins. When my gma was alive she always used to say where is my grandson. I loved that because it made me happy.


If hes family doesnt treat you the way you want to be treated and this is constantly a pattern then just treat them how you would want to be treated and expect nothing in return.. then you wont be disappointed

yes, i would be upset - you are going to be family now!!! sorry you have to deal w/ this

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Posted by CaughtMyFish

yes, I would be mad and even more angry that he wont say anything.

Sorry, that stinks

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I don't get angry with him because he has tried to talk to them in the past when issues with his sister first started & it ended up with his sister not speaking to me for awhile. Family is very important to me & I don't want to be the cause of him not speaking with his. I just have to distance myself again which is what I did in the past and it caused alot less stress in my life.

i'd be bummed too..
im sorry chica..

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Posted by pixietina

FH's parents don't know my birthday and my mother doesn't know his. If you are not close with them then I guess its to be expected that they wouldn't say anything. I am sorry that they don't accept you, but what matters is that you and FH are together and are celebrating your birthday.

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The worst part of it is they go back & forth about accepting me. One minute it feels like they love me & the next not so much. Even with the wedding planning I am considered the bad guy because we can't afford to invite all 100plus people from their side.

I just have to keep reminding myself that as long as me & FH are okay that's all that matters

I don't even think FH's parents know when my birthday is... It's annoying but I'm at the point where I don't even let things like that bother me. We just don't have that kind of relationship.

Meanwhile... My mother gets FH a gift every year.. go figure.