Would you be hurt?

I am really hurt by my FMIL. I've posted a couple of times about some issues I have with her but this time I'm really upset and I have no desire to see or speak to her for a long time. They are paying for the RD so we recently had them come out to LI (they live in PA) to look at restaurants. We were driving around the area where my church is and visited a bunch of places. One in particular was the restaurant my entire family had the lunch at after my grandfather's funeral...which was a very difficult death for me. This is all the place reminds me of.

Despite telling her this, and my FH emphasizing time and time again that this would be upsetting for me, they booked it there. I am so upset and hurt by this and feel that because of the person she is that she did it to spite me.

In addition, there were several other reasons we wanted to have it at another place and all of those reasons were completely disregarded. The other place we wanted was the same cost and everything...and was exactly what FH and I were looking for for our RD. I know they are paying for it so they had the final say, I am just so upset.

Thanks for listening, sorry so long.

Just remember, with your FH by your side, he will be there supporting you through everything and anything during your rehearsal and the rest of your life!

Maybe, just maybe, she wasn't trying to be mean, but instead found a way to include your grandfather in your wedding although he is no longer with you. (at least, maybe you can turn it around and look at it that way).

I'm so sorry.....indeed that is upsetting. I hope you can get through it while thinking happy thoughts of your grandfather and your upcoming wedding...think positive....

That does sound spiteful...one question though, if the place is so sad for you, why did you show her the place to begin with?

Here's a strange thought [it just came to me] MAYBE she's hoping that by having the RD--a HAPPY occasion--that she can give you a happier mental reference to the restaurant. Unfortunately, this thought may be wrong.

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Posted by CLMon7906

That does sound spiteful...one question though, if the place is so sad for you, why did you show her the place to begin with?

Here's a strange thought [it just came to me] MAYBE she's hoping that by having the RD--a HAPPY occasion--that she can give you a happier mental reference to the restaurant. Unfortunately, this thought may be wrong.

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This wasnt one of the places on the list to show her. We were driving around and they pulled in.

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Posted by October Bliss

Maybe, just maybe, she wasn't trying to be mean, but instead found a way to include your grandfather in your wedding although he is no longer with you. (at least, maybe you can turn it around and look at it that way).

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I wish I could believe that!

i am really sorry!!

but, you are way too nice
i understand they are paying for it and you are trying to be respectful. . . but it is supposed to be FOR YOU. . .and they are not being respectful to you!

i think you should say something bc to me, that just seems hurtful!

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Posted by October Bliss

Maybe, just maybe, she wasn't trying to be mean, but instead found a way to include your grandfather in your wedding although he is no longer with you. (at least, maybe you can turn it around and look at it that way).

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Whether or not this was her intention, I think that is amazing if you can feel that way! I think that is such a positive way to look at this!!!!!!! I hope you can feel this way about the RD and restaurant that was booked. And if her intentions were to upset you, then it would be so nice for you to be able to go back to her and tell her your positive outlook on this restaurant now.

I am so sorry that she did this to you, and if this restaurant is really going to upset you, then I would tell FH to talk to her and have them change it!

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Posted by Shellycakes123

i would be hurt. tell here how u feel and I would just pay for it somehwer else

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This is what I would do also. Call her (or have your FI call) and explain again what the restaurant means to you and why it is not a memory you wish to relive right before your wedding. If she doesn't agree to change, politely decline the offer for her to pay and re-book it somewhere else.

I'm so sorry, Katie. That is terrible of her. Can your FH put his foot down and tell them it cannot be at the place they chose? I understand they are paying for it but they should not be so insensitive.

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Posted by Katie&Chris2006

I am really hurt by my FMIL. I've posted a couple of times about some issues I have with her but this time I'm really upset and I have no desire to see or speak to her for a long time. They are paying for the RD so we recently had them come out to LI (they live in PA) to look at restaurants. We were driving around the area where my church is and visited a bunch of places. One in particular was the restaurant my entire family had the lunch at after my grandfather's funeral...which was a very difficult death for me. This is all the place reminds me of.

Despite telling her this, and my FH emphasizing time and time again that this would be upsetting for me, they booked it there. I am so upset and hurt by this and feel that because of the person she is that she did it to spite me.

In addition, there were several other reasons we wanted to have it at another place and all of those reasons were completely disregarded. The other place we wanted was the same cost and everything...and was exactly what FH and I were looking for for our RD. I know they are paying for it so they had the final say, I am just so upset.

Thanks for listening, sorry so long.

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What a [email protected] dont people understand that the most important thing is that the bride and groom are happy at their wedding and related events. I am so sorry you have to deal with this...FM if you want to talk......

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Posted by carlsbride

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Posted by Shellycakes123

i would be hurt. tell here how u feel and I would just pay for it somehwer else

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This is what I would do also. Call her (or have your FI call) and explain again what the restaurant means to you and why it is not a memory you wish to relive right before your wedding. If she doesn't agree to change, politely decline the offer for her to pay and re-book it somewhere else.

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I agree...

that is just so mean. I am very very sorry you are dealing with this woman.

I can't believe how someone could be that insensitive.

I would tell you to try to be strong, but F it. if you feel badly that day, don't be shy about it. you gave fair 'warning'

this makes me hate people.

again, I am so sorry...