First off, my parents are deceased and I have no siblings. So it's just moi. Okay, now on to the issue.. Yesterday, I had a surprise party for FMIL and she kept telling me how no one ever did anything so nice for her and how happy she was. So, when it came time for photos. I was the frigging photo taker!! I was more than happy to take pics of her and her friends, her and her brother...whatev. But, when it came time for a family photo...yep, I was the picture taker. But it gets better, FBIL's girlfriend was in the fam photos. Hello, I am engaged...closer to family than she is and I was the photo taker. I am in the one group pic that I asked some man to take. I don't know whether to be pissed or offended or if I am overeacting. I don't want to bring it up with FH because he won't understand, so I need to post and ask my fav question, 'Am I nuts or should I be offended?' This is the closest thing to a family I have and I don't feel a part of it.
LuvMyMichael
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you be PO'd if this happened to you?
I think I would be upset
james'pokey
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you be PO'd if this happened to you?
I would be upset too. Especially since you were the hostess. I am sorry
janwinterbridejoy
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you be PO'd if this happened to you?
some families just assume if you dont speak up for yourself that your fine, in my dh family if i didnt defend myself and request or make arrangements to be in the family photos i wouldnt be . they dont take the time to think of your feelings you have to make sure you speak up or your stepped on. i wouldnt get offended by it next time just make yourself known and dont fade into the background. some families arent as sensitive as others and you have to be more assertive.
Butterflybride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you be PO'd if this happened to you?
I know that I would be very upset. My FH's family (not his immediate family, but uncles and whatnot) to this day will not include me in family photos and we've been engaged for over 6 months now. It really hurts my feelings and it's gotten to the point where I don't want to go to family events...
MrsK-in-June05
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you be PO'd if this happened to you?
Posted by janwinterbridejoy
some families just assume if you dont speak up for yourself that your fine, in my dh family if i didnt defend myself and request or make arrangements to be in the family photos i wouldnt be . they dont take the time to think of your feelings you have to make sure you speak up or your stepped on. i wouldnt get offended by it next time just make yourself known and dont fade into the background. some families arent as sensitive as others and you have to be more assertive.
The funny part was at the time it all went so fast but today I am looking at the pics and I am just not in them. But FBIL's gf is...***. Next time I am going to speak up!! TY
MrsK-in-June05
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you be PO'd if this happened to you?
So, I decided to bite the bullet and call FH because if I don't say anything than I am just going to be pissy. He said he was sorry and I am more of a family to him than the rest of them anyways. He does not understand how FBIL's gf was in the pics and not moi. Does this make it okay?? Nope. But, I am glad I spoke up for myself. TY Girls
laudipop
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you be PO'd if this happened to you?
I'd be upset. But I bet they just didn't think about it at all. You threw the party, you started taking the pictures...they probably figured that's what you wanted to do. I bet it just never occured to them that because you were taking the pics, it meant you wouldn't be IN the pics. Some people are insensitive and just don't think about stuff like that.
I'm glad you told your FH!
Bebalina
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you be PO'd if this happened to you?
u have every right to be offended
BCTM33
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you be PO'd if this happened to you?
Yeah - I would be upset. You poor thing - I know how it feels to be under appreciated.
azoodie
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you be PO'd if this happened to you?
i agree...your fmil was being so inconsiderate
charlotte227
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you be PO'd if this happened to you?
I'd be offended...talk to them perhaps they were caught up in the moment and forgot you are all the family you have besides your new one...good luck
goingtobemrs
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you be PO'd if this happened to you?
I would definitely be offended. And it seems like you get along with them from what she said to you, so that seems really inconsiderate to me. I have been included in FH's family pictures from day one. I guess they were so happy he finally had a girlfriend, they didn't want to screw it up :). It puts you in an akward position. He should say something to his mother about it.
RedHead
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you be PO'd if this happened to you?
I would have felt sad inside...offended no just sad and lefted out.. Venting to you fh is better...i am glad he understood... I am sure it was an oversite not intentional!
juju
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you be PO'd if this happened to you?
I probably would feel hurt. But, I am sure it was an oversight.
LadyPrincess
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you be PO'd if this happened to you?
Posted by panapoli
I think I would be upset
I woulde be UPSET
LImom
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you be PO'd if this happened to you?
I'm sorry to hear what happened. I honestly think they were happy to have someone take pictures and didn't give any thought that you weren't in them. Your FMIL may be equally disappointed to notice you were missing. When you give her copies of the pictures, I would just simply tell her that you were sorry you didn't get to take a picture with her and let it go at that. Watch what happens next time before you take it personally. Since this is your future family, it's best to give them the benefit of the doubt and not to put negative thoughts in your mind, if possible.
