Would you be upset if your Bridesmaid...

had no interest in coming to your bachelorette party?

I have this one friend who has always been there for me but is passed that stage of going out to party. We are all in our late twenties and don't do it like we used to.

I can't help but feel a little hurt that she has no interest in attending.

She doesn't seem that 'happy' for me. It's not that bad that I would want to replace her or anything but I still feel bad. I've been good friends with this girl for over ten years.

I had a similar situation....

unfortunately, your wedding will mean the world to you and not to everyone else. She may not see the importance, therefore, she won't think it's a big deal. You begin to see what true friends you do have when it's all said and done.

I may be of little help here - FH and I have decided not to have bachelor / bachelorette parties. Instead, we're having one big weekend celebration with anyone who wants to attend in AC for a weekend. Clearly if people cannot go or don't want to spend the money to go, we understand.


I would just go and have fun with the girls who are going. She wouldn't be much fun if she didn't want to be there, anyway.

I don't know what you have planned (to each his own!), but I know for me, any sort of bachelorette party with strippers or male dancers or anything of the like would be out for me -- same thing for FH when he goes to bachelor parties. We're all for going out, having fun, some drinks, etc., but we'd be skipping out before the strippers or something like that. It's just how we work. I would hope my friends wouldn't take offense to that, as it's out of respect to my FH (and his is out of respect for me). We wouldn't think any less of our friends for doing what they want to do - we'd just excuse ourselves from that part of the fun. (PLEASE don't think I'm assuming that's what you're having at your party!! I'm not - just giving an example - some people don't like to do certain things, and it's nothing about you! It's just that not everyone is up for a wild night out, and there shouldn't be anything wrong with that.)

What I'm trying to say in a looooong-winded way is that maybe this isn't where she's going to be putting her best effort / time into things for you. Maybe she'll be a lot more fun at the shower or more supportive on the day of the wedding... but I wouldn't fret if she cannot make or doesn't want to make the bachelorette party. If she was doing this about all the things you had planned, that would be another story... but if it's just the one night for the bachelorette party, let it go. Tell her you'll miss her and you're sad she can't be there, but then let it go.

Make sure to enjoy yourself with the friends and BMs and everyone else who can go!!

You can definitely feel bad about her not being there, but try not to take it as a sign that she doesn't want to be there for you.....if she agreed to be in your bridal party than she should know there would be certain commitments, but other than going to dress fittings & attending your shower (which to me its important to have all BM's at my shower), it's not mandatory for her to go to the bachelorette party. But you never know what her reasoning is....are you doing anything wild??? lol Some ladies aren't up for that kind of excitement!!

Enjoy your bachelorette party and the people who will be there to celebrate your last hurrah!!! Hope you feel better about it!!

i know when my time comes i will be in the same boat! Im not into the strip clubs but i dont mind going for my bach-party! But i know that my older sister wont have any intrest in going. I know if its not just a dance club my own sister wont attend.

plus im sure theres another 1 or 2 that my give me an issue!

i wanted to do a joint AC trip too Tropicana, figured we can go to Carmines and get dinner,gamble and go to the club there.....but my fiance wants his night out....im sure that will be an issue soon enough!

So sorry to hear that! i can emphathize with you.. some bridesmaids are really not cut out for the job and will see her job as a chore even though it should be a privilege.

I say forget her, go out with the bridesmaids and friends who you know WILL have fun. Who needs a party pooper anyway?

Come her wedding time, she will know what it's like to not be supportive... ;)

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Posted by HelenZ

You can definitely feel bad about her not being there, but try not to take it as a sign that she doesn't want to be there for you.....if she agreed to be in your bridal party than she should know there would be certain commitments, but other than going to dress fittings & attending your shower (which to me its important to have all BM's at my shower), it's not mandatory for her to go to the bachelorette party. But you never know what her reasoning is....are you doing anything wild??? lol Some ladies aren't up for that kind of excitement!!

Enjoy your bachelorette party and the people who will be there to celebrate your last hurrah!!! Hope you feel better about it!!

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i agree. i'm, sure she's not doing it to hurt your feelings, she just may feel kind of uncomfortable or something. i'm sure she's very happy for you - if not she wouldn't have agreed to be in your bp.