So we have a guest from Jersey who not only didn't send in a response at all but when we called him he first said 'yes' he will come with one guest. Then a few days later he called back and said:
'oh man, I didn't realize your wedding is in Long Island, sorry man, I can't come, it's too far away.'
I have guests flying in from another country and he can't drive 1.5 hours to Long Island?
Keep in mind this guy is supposed to be a friend my FH asked to be a groomsman at one point but declined saying he has too much of a workload ni law school. :P
CLMon7906
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Re: Would You Be Upset With This Guest?
jerk.
as it's been said a billion times, weddings bring out the worst in people and show you who your true friends are.
NY031978
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ppl like that you dont even want at your wedding! Your better off w/o him if you ask me! Also this guy is acting like a real asss if he cant drive less than 2hrs for his firends wedding...well that just proved that he isnt a true friend and id be sure if i was your Fi to tell him off!! But thats me i hate when ppl jerk me over!!
libby2595
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i agree... you're better off without him there.
i live in new jersey... can i take his place??
i'm willing to drive out to long island
EGreene79
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Eh - I'm not sure how upset I would be. Just because we all think our weddings are the most important day, not everyone shares that. I have a number of friends who missed other friends weddings because of distance. I know other people feel differently, but for me - if someone can't come to my wedding it doesn't make them any less of a friend. Before I got engaged I found weddings to be a huge hassle - hotels, travel, gifts, etc ... I feel differently now, but I still understand how other guests feel.
Hisforever
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Posted by CLMon7906
jerk.
as it's been said a billion times, weddings bring out the worst in people and show you who your true friends are.
i agree, with the exception of calling him a jerk ...
libby2595
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Posted by EGreene79
Eh - I'm not sure how upset I would be. Just because we all think our weddings are the most important day, not everyone shares that. I have a number of friends who missed other friends weddings because of distance. I know other people feel differently, but for me - if someone can't come to my wedding it doesn't make them any less of a friend. Before I got engaged I found weddings to be a huge hassle - hotels, travel, gifts, etc ... I feel differently now, but I still understand how other guests feel.
it's true that not everyone thinks your wedding is as important as you do, but this guy first said yes then said no. even if it wasn't a wedding.... just another formal event.... it still shows lack of consideration to the host of the event.
but i do agree with what you said about how weddings can be a hassle.
EGreene79
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Posted by libby2595
it's true that not everyone thinks your wedding is as important as you do, but this guy first said yes then said no. even if it wasn't a wedding.... just another formal event.... it still shows lack of consideration to the host of the event.
but i do agree with what you said about how weddings can be a hassle.
That's true - but I think a lot of people also don't realize that the host still has to pay if they cancel too late, etc ... I don't know this guy to defend him, but I see a lot of posts about people saying friends aren't real friends because they aren't really into the wedding or aren't coming. Maybe I just have a number of flaky friends, but I almost expect some of that from them and wouldn't take it too personally.
Again, I don't know this guy, so maybe he is a jerk. But if he's not, and traveling from NJ for a wedding just isn't his thing, I wouldn't write him off right away. Weddings just don't mean as much to everyone - my brother is actually against them!
Bridex100
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I would definitely be upset.
It really is a test of who your real friends are.
eden
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haha, libby2595, if i haven't met my minimum already I would invite you. :)
i think the reason why I was mad is because we thought this guy is a good friend but he has proven to be such a flake.
In the back of my mind I'm thinking if he ever invite me to one of his parties again, I'll be giving him the same answer:
'oh, you live too far from me, can't make it, sorry!' :D
Anyone else feel the same, or am I just being vindictive? :D
dancinmyazoff
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UGH what a jerk. Thank goodness you didn't have him in your BP. So now he's dissapointing you both for the second time. If he calls again and changes his mind about coming to the wedding tell him sorry it's too late but at least you're saving yourself that whole hour and a half drive May be a little b*tchy but that is just WRONG especially if this person was someone close enough to be asked to be in the BP.
LaurenluvsTJ
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Thats a ridiculous answer. People really show their true colors when it comes to this whole wedding business.
CLMon7906
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Posted by Hisforever
Posted by CLMon7906
jerk.
as it's been said a billion times, weddings bring out the worst in people and show you who your true friends are.
i agree, with the exception of calling him a jerk ...
let me rephrase then....
jerk-like behavior. though it may not be his top priority, it's a very rude, thus jerk-like, thing to do/say....'i can't drive 1.5 hours on a saturday/sunday' i bet he finds time to watch football.
his law school studies can take a 8 hour break one day. DH and i met while he was IN law school....they hae a lot more free time than they let on sometimes...even the truly dedicated ones.
CLMon7906
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Posted by eden
haha, libby2595, if i haven't met my minimum already I would invite you. :)
i think the reason why I was mad is because we thought this guy is a good friend but he has proven to be such a flake.
In the back of my mind I'm thinking if he ever invite me to one of his parties again, I'll be giving him the same answer:
'oh, you live too far from me, can't make it, sorry!' :D
Anyone else feel the same, or am I just being indictive? :D
you are not being vindictive...possibly a little harsh, but if he has a history of this behavior..i wouldn't make his affairs a priority either.
Chrissywish
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Basically....Sh*t happens....maybe he hasn't stepped up the way you guys thought you would....but look at the positive....at least when you called and he said yes, he had the decency to call you back and tell you no sorry too far, rather than just not show up!!!
Mandyin2007
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Re: Would You Be Upset With This Guest?
I would be upset, but maybe there are other circumstances surrounding why he doesn't want to come. Something personal that he isn't comfortable sharing?
Just trying to think of it in a different light. I'm probably way off though
HM807
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Sounds a little selfish to me! If he didnt want to go he should have just responded no in the first place. Sheesh!
October Bliss
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It sounds to me like there is more going on and he just doesn't want to share what it is.
We invited an entire adult family (they all have their own households). The ones that live closest to our RH said no, all the others on LI said yes, and the ones that live the furthest away (another state) said yes.
