Would you say something?

Here's the story of our hall-

FH's cousin is a vendor who does a LOT of business with our Hall and is clsoe freinds with the owner. We are kinda close to cousin but he suggested we go there and we fell in love with the place and thought we would be treated well due to the relationship.

We mentioned this relationship to our BM and to be honest didnt push it too much, because we felt a little weird about 'trading favors' so to speak so we just figured maybe we'd get a discount or something.

Well, the price we got turned out to be ok , but some have pushed and gotten lower from what I hear.

I also have heard that other brides have been more pushy ( as they should be, and I SHOULD HAVE BEEN) and gotten things like chair covers, an ice scuplture or a lower price and more food thrown in. ( more then one person has gotten this).

When we met with FH's cousin, he said ' They did you guys good right?' Because in his opinion he is supporting them and wanted his family to get a good deal.

Well I now think we DIDNT get a good deal, and should have gotten at least something more.

Its bugging me a little.

Should I say something to my BM? Or someone else there? That he acted as if he was doing 'the best he could' for us considering a family member was a big supporter/advertiser for them, but in truth we got LESS then what was offered to others?

Or should I just say, forget it, take what I got, not a big deal?

ABSOLUTELY SAY SOMETHING!
Nobody is going to hand you anything, especially if you aren't pushy. I say ...say something to your BM AND FH's cousin...They should DEFINATELY through in a lot of perks for you!!!
SPEAK UP DONNA

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Posted by dm24angel

I know I SHOULD, but do you think It's bad to ask for perks? I feel selfish?

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NO I DON'T THINK IT IS BAD AT ALL!
Hey you have that connection USE IT!
I would try to get as much as i could...!

This is always a tough one. I talked to other brides here and heard that they got a better deal than me.

I did bring it up when it came time for final prep, and I actually did get a couple of extras tossed in for free as well as other things added on a very low cost

You don't even necessarily need to use the cousin's name. Simply go back to them, and say, I KNOW you can do better. Put it nicely, that you really love it there, which is why you chose the place, but after speaking with some friends, would it be POSSIBLE to throw in x item.

Good Luck!

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Posted by oct.2004bride

ABSOLUTELY SAY SOMETHING!
Nobody is going to hand you anything, especially if you aren't pushy. I say ...say something to your BM AND FH's cousin...They should DEFINATELY through in a lot of perks for you!!!
SPEAK UP DONNA

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I agree!!!

Another way you can look at it is that they are not going to offer you anything they are not going to make money on, so what is the harm in asking? I am not good at this either, but am great with supporting other people to do it.

Take a deep breath. You don't need to do this right now, but you will need to do it soon.

Think about what you want and prioritize. It's easier for your BM to add extras than to cut the cost per person.

Plan your conversation and practice saying what you want and how you know you want it (other brides, other halls, etc.) If you really, really can't do it, ask your FH or parents to do it for you.

The worst they'll say is no. You have everything to gain!

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Posted by lilacwine

Take a deep breath. You don't need to do this right now, but you will need to do it soon.

Think about what you want and prioritize. It's easier for your BM to add extras than to cut the cost per person.

Plan your conversation and practice saying what you want and how you know you want it (other brides, other halls, etc.) If you really, really can't do it, ask your FH or parents to do it for you.

The worst they'll say is no. You have everything to gain!

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THANK you! It's funny, I laughed when I read your post, thinking..'Wow, everyone can tell I'm neurotic if they need to tell me to take a deep breath'...LOL!