I have been with FH for 4 1/2years. I don't think my sister/husband ever got FH a birthday or X-mas present. it was my BILs birthday and I sent him a gift certificate. she called and asked when is FH birthday. I said March, she said 'oh I did not know that,,,,I guess presents don't really start until the ring is on your finger.'
WHAT THE F*@# is that??
I am so embarrased that she does that, because his WHOLE family is sooooooo generous, and never forgets my birthday or to include me.
allure
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Re: wouldn't you be hurt too????
I would be hurt as well
butterfly20
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Re: wouldn't you be hurt too????
id be hurt... although it really varies from family to family... with my fiances family my FIL's have gotten me christmas gifts, birthday gifts, easter baskets for the 3 years before we were engaged... with his mothers side I end up spending more money on their gifts then they get me.. and no engagement gifts from that side)... fathers side has given us engageent gifts and more gifts for christmas than my family gave me... it really varies...
lilmrs
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Re: wouldn't you be hurt too????
I would be hurt as well....you should have said, I do have a ring and he is going to be your brother in law (after four and a half years and a proposal he should be treated this way already!) and you need to start treating him like that. Give her one more occasion, if she does not acknowledge your fh than dont acknowledge hers (spiteful and mean I know)...but thats just my opinion and what I would do..obviously I don't believe in that two wrongs don't make a right crapola.
jenny2penny
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Re: wouldn't you be hurt too????
Yeah, they are not close, but at least send a card. My mom isn't close to him either, hers in a few days after his, so when we get together, she always gives a gift.
I was more bothered by the comment, 'cause I think she realized she's wronge, but then tryied to justify it
butterfly20
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Re: wouldn't you be hurt too????
well... a common theme also happens to be jealousy sometimes...
my fiance is SOOOO happy this year my sister/bil are getting him a birthday gift...(our birthdays are 9 days appart) so at my family party he would normally have to sit there and watch me opening up gifts
pschica
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Re: wouldn't you be hurt too????
i would def be hurt - we ar elucky that both our famiies are so generous and see the whole engagment thing more as a techinicality...since we first went out our families have been spoiling one anohter!!
cluelessbride
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Re: wouldn't you be hurt too????
Oh, I'm so sorry. I would be hurt too.
My family has always remembered FH's b-days and always inlcuded him in things. But his family still treats me like an outisder. They never remember my b-days. It stinks, but I know it's not FH's fault.
Elizabeth
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Re: wouldn't you be hurt too????
I dont blame you for feeling hurt. My brother & SIL never remember my DH's birthday. This year they didnt even remember mine and it's 4 days after my brothers. DH doesnt care b/c his family is not big on birthdays but it bothers me, not because he needs a gift or a card but it's the thought. My brother is really selfish though and my SIL is not a very thoughtful person so they don't care.My brother has 3 kids and his oldest (from his first marriage), he never even got a bday gift from my brother last year so why should they remember my DH? This year no gifts or cards for anyone from me. We even threw my brother a surprise bday party in April and he never even said thank you. Then he got mad at my mother when she mentioned it. Family is #&$^#($*& sometimes.
Sorry I went into my own rant/vent here. Yes I think your feelings are valid.
butterfly20
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Re: wouldn't you be hurt too????
that would upset me throwing a party and not getting aknowledge... I feel I lucked out with his fathers side and all they do for me, and then the mothers side does nothing for me and its kinda a let down, I end up giving them more stuff when im an unemployed college student(with barely any money)...uggh.. sorry for the vent..
