Xmas cards and death in the family

dubliner Posted: Dec 17, 2003 04:40 PM

Xmas cards and death in the family

In Ireland, if a person has a death in the immediate family, it is customary not to send Crhistmas cards that year. Is that a US cusotm too? Is it just Catholic - I never questioned it, but unfortunately find myself in the category.

thanks

eta - DH is no use because he's Jewish!!

yabbobay Posted: Dec 17, 2003 04:42 PM

Re: Xmas cards and death in the family

I haven't heard of it...but I think people will understand why you didn't write any....

although I just got a christmas card from my aunt and my uncle died in January (but that seems like ages ago) ETA: shes protestant

june262004 Posted: Dec 17, 2003 04:43 PM

Re: Xmas cards and death in the family

Im Irish and Catholic. Ive never heard that before.

Irishbride Posted: Dec 17, 2003 04:43 PM

Re: Xmas cards and death in the family

Yes it is a custom here also. I was just talking to someone about this the other day. She is not sending out cards this year, she is not Irish but she is catholic.. I didnt send out cards when my Dad passed away no one said anything to me.

swags1016 Posted: Dec 17, 2003 04:46 PM

Re: Xmas cards and death in the family

BIL & SIL are not because BIL's father passed away right before Thanksgiving. They said it was an Irish thing- I don't know. My Grandmother who is Sicillian didn't either when my Grandfather did. So I am thinking that you have to do what is best for you.

Helen do what is most comfortable for you!

I am so sorry about your loss

nylisa Posted: Dec 17, 2003 04:49 PM

Re: Xmas cards and death in the family

My family who is Italian did not send cards for Xmas the year my Grandfather passed away.

Teri Posted: Dec 17, 2003 04:50 PM

Re: Xmas cards and death in the family

I've heard of that only if it's a recent passing. My aunt passed away last month, so I will not be sending my cousin's Christmas cards. I did send out one to DH's cousin, and her mom passed in early Fall.

edited to say - I read your post wrong! I thought you meant to receive them - not send them.

The year my father passed away, I don't remember if we sent them out - I doubt it, given how upset we all were

OctBride03 Posted: Dec 17, 2003 04:53 PM

Re: Xmas cards and death in the family

I'm sorry to hear you are in this category.

My family and DH's will not do it if there was a death in the family during that entire year, whether it be January or November, no cards go out and people understand.

I'm not sure if it's a European thing, Catholic or what, but I'll tell you this, my parents are American & Lutheran, DH's parents are very European and Catholic and neither of them will send cards out if there was a death in the family.

Jenn P Posted: Dec 17, 2003 05:03 PM

Re: Xmas cards and death in the family

My dad passed away December 4 ten years ago and I believe the cards had already been sent but otherwise they definitely would not have.

yabbobay Posted: Dec 17, 2003 05:06 PM

Re: Xmas cards and death in the family

Posted by OctBride03

I'm not sure if it's a European thing, Catholic or what, but I'll tell you this, my parents are American & Lutheran, DH's parents are very European and Catholic and neither of them will send cards out if there was a death in the family.

my aunt is from Germany and Lutheran (to be exact)...but to be honest I think she likes to correspond with people...so its another do what you feel comfortable with

HearzBellz Posted: Dec 17, 2003 08:43 PM

Re: Xmas cards and death in the family

A very, very dear friend of mine is Irish, and yes, it is customary to not send any holiday greetings if the family is in a year of mourning. This is especially true if it was a younger person or a very close friend or relative.

JennRenee Posted: Dec 18, 2003 07:54 AM

Re: Xmas cards and death in the family

My grandmother passed away in September and my mom won't be sending cards out this year.

ETA: We're Italian, not Irish...

Maribelle7777 Posted: Dec 18, 2003 08:39 AM

Re: Xmas cards and death in the family

Not that I know of

eta: oops I read that wrong. Yes it is customary that you do not have to send cards out. I thought you meant you don't send cards TO someone who's had a death in the family.

At least I know it customary to do that. I don't know if others who are not Irish/American do that.

Donna Posted: Dec 18, 2003 09:38 AM

Re: Xmas cards and death in the family

First I wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss

But yes, my family (Irish/Italian/Catholic) will not send cards during the year of someone's passing.

dubliner Posted: Dec 18, 2003 10:20 AM

Re: Xmas cards and death in the family

thanks everyone

I wasn't going to send cards anyway, but now that I know its not uncommon, I feel better about it, I didn't want to be explaining to everyone why I am not sending them

Thanks too for your sympathies