XOXO

That's a tough situation to be in. If I were you, I would just go along with the plan for the bachelorette party, have fun, try not to let the girl get on your nerves, even though I know she will be driving you nuts.
After the wedding I would probably get together with the friend, just drop by, or make a lunch date making sure that it will just be the two of you. I would talk about your feelings then. Explain that you like 'M' (even if you only slightly do), but say how it bothers you that she has to be in the middle of everything, and how it hurts your feelings that you barely get to spend time with her (your bf) without 'M' somehow getting involved. She should understand, and if she doesn't...I don't know, it sounds like you're fed up enough with the situation where you have to say something, or you will drive yourself crazy.

Was M invited or did she invite herself?

Edited: Just reread your post that she is in the bridal party.

When you guys are together does she exclude you from the conversation?

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Posted by jenniesunshine

Since this is something that's really been bothering you, maybe you could tell your BF something like, 'I hope this doesn't come out the wrong way, but I was really looking forward to the 3 of us spending some time together by ourselves since we don't get to see each other that often. I think M is a great girl, but I'd love it if after the whole BP hangs out, it could just be the 3 of us.' If you don't say something about this soon, it's just going keep building until you snap.

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Yes I agree most definitely, and you should word it like so.

If 'M' just got a divorce, it can be that she is quite eager to 'keep herself busy' so shes not dwindling on other things....but I understand what you mean....shes almost like a 'nudge' now....dont drink too much that night, b/c you may feel a bit easy w/ your words--and say things that will really hurt her feelings when in fact, she may not even have a clue how she is even coming off.

But I would def tell your two BF's, hey, listen, can we and specifically say, me, you and you go to eat, just the 3 of us--NOONE ELSE!!!!

First off, she can't be 'that nice' if she's making you feel like this. Plus how come when they go out they don't ask you? Because you live out of state?

I would call the both of them and say you need to talk to both of them. Tell them it's 'just the 3 of you'. Or don't even say you need to talk (they'll start to wonder) just invite both out to your house but say 'just the 3 of us please'. Keep your invite lighthearted though.

When they come out don't get upset but do say that whjile you like M, you feel like she's trying to 'take your place' and while you don't want to be a b!tch because you do like her, you just would like it if your friends were a bit more considerate when they go out, and invite you etc.

As far as the '3 musketeers' thing - I agree with you but it doesn't seem to bother your friends so it's hard to do anything but try to 'accept' her into the fold. You don't want to have your friends think that you are jealous and you are scared they prefer her company to you.

Good luck