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superkat Posted:

Re: Holding out before the wedding

I think it is a waste. It is going to be special because you are married, not because you are suddenly a reborn virgin. It doesn't make any sense to me.

Goldi1021 Posted:

Re: Holding out before the wedding

I held out for two nights and that was only because

1) I Went for a spiritual cleansing at a mikveh.

and

2) DH wasn't sleeping home the night before the wedding.
PapayaChic Posted:

Re: Holding out before the wedding

well we dont live together and the night before is the rd so we wont do it the night before


i see no point in it. Either way its going to be special bc you're finally married
kittythestray Posted:

Re: Holding out before the wedding

Posted by superkat

I think it is a waste. It is going to be special because you are married, not because you are suddenly a reborn virgin. It doesn't make any sense to me.


I agree. We lived together before so it seemed really pointless... but I'm also a how.
cindyandkevin Posted:

Re: Holding out before the wedding

We didn't and it was still special bc it was our wedding night!!

However, my MOH is waiting until marriage and I applaud her for sticking to her beliefs.
Katie&Chris2006 Posted:

Re: Holding out before the wedding

We didn't hold out before. Didn't make sense for us.

kittythestray Posted:

Re: Holding out before the wedding

Posted by cindyandkevin
However, my MOH is waiting until marriage and I applaud her for sticking to her beliefs.


I think that's totally different - I think that's special - I think what Steph is talking about is the 'no sex for a month (or week or whatever) before your wedding' type of thing, but you've been doing it before then.
greenfreak Posted:

Re: Holding out before the wedding

We did because I finished up AF a few days before and I wanted him to blow like Mount Krakatoa.

Mission accomplished.
kittythestray Posted:

Re: Holding out before the wedding

Posted by greenfreak

We did because I finished up AF a few days before and I wanted him to blow like Mount Krakatoa.

Mission accomplished.


weddingbunny Posted:

Re: Holding out before the wedding

Posted by Jess5790
i see no point in it. Either way its going to be special bc you're finally married


I absolutely agree - makes no sense at all to me!

Maybe for the day or two beforehand... honestly, with the rehearsal dinner and last minute planning and family coming in out of town, I don't see how we could find the time or energy!

But definitely, no intentional abstinence. Really, that to me is just asking for trouble - sex allows you to feel closer to each other, to relax into each other, to open up to each other - it's a release, in a multitude of ways. In that crazy, exciting, stressful time, I think insisting on holding off on sex when you're used to being able to have that release is just going to raise the stress level even more.

I don't understand it, I have never understood it, and nobody can convince me that their wedding night couldn't possibly be as special if they didn't abstain for a while. It's special because it's your wedding! Wedding night sex is about consummating your marriage, not re-deflowering the pure-white bride!
BJandDan Posted:

Re: Holding out before the wedding

We did the month thing and it was DHs choice (not mine ). I found it very hard to do. I needed to let off steam. There was no time for the gym the last couple of weeks, I was really cranky.

It made it more hot to wait, but special, no. It was special because we were Mr. and Mrs.
JanuaryBride06 Posted:

Re: Holding out before the wedding

For those who are waiting, I charge a nominal fee to light fireworks outside of your window.

Jennie0898 Posted:

Re: Holding out before the wedding

we didn't refrain... wedding planning is stressful to begin with. you've got to release the tension somehow and you can just run so long on a treadmill before your legs get tired!!!

Jennie0898 Posted:

Re: Holding out before the wedding

Posted by JanuaryBride06

For those who are waiting, I charge a nominal fee to light fireworks outside of your window.


LaurenluvsTJ Posted:

Re: Holding out before the wedding

No. I think its silly. IF you already did it you already did it. Its one thing if you have never done it ever and are waiting until marriage. Holding out for a designated amount of time isn't going to make it any more special on the wedding night. Actually chances are you're going to be so tired on the wedding night you aren't even going to have a chance to 'celebrate.'
You'll just be more frustrated than you need to be while you're planning.
Kimbalina Posted:

Re: Holding out before the wedding

Posted by kittythestray

Posted by superkat

I think it is a waste. It is going to be special because you are married, not because you are suddenly a reborn virgin. It doesn't make any sense to me.


I agree. We lived together before so it seemed really pointless... but I'm also a how.



awsome... great answer
july06bride Posted:

Re: Holding out before the wedding

we lived together before our wedding... it was pointless to abstain for us. It was not going to makei it any more special because we held out, it as special because we were married!The only reason why we didnt 'do it' before the wedding was because I went to LI (where the wedding was) on a wednesday...the wedding was on saturday...he came up on friday for the rehearsal but slept at the hotel..

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