XOXO

that's an odd situation. i would have been leary of that from the get go, unless the friend was extremely rich and often offered to through parties for friends. you said he offered to 'help organize' not pay...maybe the friend was trying to lend a hand with the party planning and never intended on paying.

when it comes down to money, you need to be sure about the specifics before you agree to anything. this might be a lesson you learned the hard way. if you can't afford the party then cancel it.

i think a lot of couples pay for their own engagement parties, and soetimes parents/families will help pay. while showers are usually given and paid for by the brides family and/or bridal party.

personally I would cancel the more formal party- tell the friend you have to save for the wedding... and maybe have a smaller party in the summer in the backyard or something. I would not be paying for a party I did not want in the first place...

good luck, it's a sticky situation