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Snowflake08 Posted:

Re: black tie at the larkfield manor

i dont think larkfield manor warrants black tie; nor do most places AND i agree
it is inconsiderate of guests that are already spending money on the couple to have to rent or buy a tux or gown

FutureMrsLV Posted:

Re: black tie at the larkfield manor

jeffamanda080808 Posted:

Re: black tie at the larkfield manor

Posted by Snowflake08

i dont think larkfield manor warrants black tie; nor do most places AND i agree
it is inconsiderate of guests that are already spending money on the couple to have to rent or buy a tux or gown



I agree. I think a black tie affairs is gorgeous, but I'd never ask my guests to bring me a gift and then go out and rent a tux. Think of the expense for the out of town people. Have you tried mentioning that to her.
FutureMrsLV Posted:

Re: black tie at the larkfield manor

Im a Pepper Posted:

Re: black tie at the larkfield manor

i totally agree with you and think black tie weddings in general are quite annoying. a friend of mine is having one this March and I've toyed with the idea of not even going because I just don't think it's necessary for FH and I to have to put ourselves out like that! You're not alone!

FutureMrsLV Posted:

Re: black tie at the larkfield manor

panjay Posted:

Re: black tie at the larkfield manor

I think asking someone to rent a tux for your wedding is extremely presumptuous no matter where you are having it. My brother has refused a few invitations because of this, though he did suggest that he would attend but then deduct the cost of the tux from the wedding gift.

nifheim Posted:

Re: black tie at the larkfield manor

I don't mind when people do black tie optional because it give you the choice but to flat out say BLACK TIE is silly unless your getting married at oheka castle or some $$$$$ place that say black or white tie affair. Larkfield manor is nice and all but deff. not nec. for a forced black tie.

I would skip the bach party and skimp on the present.
o17range Posted:

Re: black tie at the larkfield manor

Has she ordered her invites yet? If she REALLY wants her wedding to be fancier than the average party, perhaps you can suggest (when you have a moment to cool down) a 'Black Tie Welcome' on her invitation? That way, those who want to wear a tux can (my dad almost ALWAYS wears his tux to a wedding), but those who don't have one/don't want to rent one won't. You can't blame her for wanting a nice wedding, but perhaps (as her MOH) can give her a gentle reality check, and try to get her in your (and your guests) shoes. She may have a much higher 'no' response rate if she insists on a Black Tie affair if many others are in the same boat as you!
PegaLega Posted:

Re: black tie at the larkfield manor

As hard as it is....maybe explain to her what black tie means the next time she says something about it. most people dont realize that black tie means TUX! Some people think it means full suit.
If she says she knows it means Tux then ask her if she knows how expensive it is to do that? I had to do this with a friend of mine for her wedding, she didnt want black tie but she wanted things that were unreasonable for the wedding she wanted. As long as she doesnt think you are telling her this to be mean then maybe she will take it and appreciate it
FutureMrsLV Posted:

Re: black tie at the larkfield manor

NC1011 Posted:

Re: black tie at the larkfield manor

I'm with you on this. I feel like its unfair to impose that on people no matter what the venue is. When we chose our RH, some people were automatically saying that we should have a Black Tie affair. FH and I really dont want to force people to go out and rent a tux and spend a fortune on ball gowns. Its just not our style. We decided to go with 'Black Tie Optional' on our invitations b/c then it sets a tone to tell people that it is in fact a formal affair but it leaves people with options.

MsPotterhead Posted:

Re: black tie at the larkfield manor

Posted by PegaLega

As hard as it is....maybe explain to her what black tie means the next time she says something about it. most people dont realize that black tie means TUX! Some people think it means full suit.
If she says she knows it means Tux then ask her if she knows how expensive it is to do that? I had to do this with a friend of mine for her wedding, she didnt want black tie but she wanted things that were unreasonable for the wedding she wanted. As long as she doesnt think you are telling her this to be mean then maybe she will take it and appreciate it


I agree with this. She very well may not know exactly what black tie means, and just wants to make sure everybody dresses up. Maybe suggest 'Black Tie Optional'.
monkeybuttz Posted:

Re: black tie at the larkfield manor

Posted by nifheim

I don't mind when people do black tie optional because it give you the choice but to flat out say BLACK TIE is silly unless your getting married at oheka castle or some $$$$$ place that say black or white tie affair. Larkfield manor is nice and all but deff. not nec. for a forced black tie.

I would skip the bach party and skimp on the present.




I totally agree.....Black Tie Optional gives you a choice-much more guest friendly.
jtgarsik Posted:

Re: black tie at the larkfield manor

in all honesty i've been to 'black tie' weddings and a lot of the men are just in nice suits and the women in floor length gowns/dresses...unless it's a black tie in manhattan the majority of people dont show up in full tuxes these days. it's her wedding - and don't get me wrong - i DO understand where u are coming from...if u think she's just ignorant about a lot of it and u just want to shed some light on the situation then that's fine...BUT being that it's a winter evening wedding - if she wants to make it a black tie affair why is it such a huge deal??? the wedding is a year away. i think it's just her personal choice in the way she wants to do her wedding...so what if she wants formal attire.i dont want u to take any of this the wrong way, because from YOUR perspective i get what u mean, BUT this is her day - and if she wants it to be fancy attire then dont get what the big deal is??? Honestly, u could tell her that being that it's an evening winter wedding most people will show up very formal, however i really dont think it's ur place (which u said also) to tell her that its unreasonable & unnessecary. it's wasnt neccesary for me to have slipper baskets & christmas carolers & all the other details i did, but it was something i wanted to do to make our wedding unique. you get to do what u want for ur wedding, let her do what she wants...and like i said - if its more about how u think she just dosnt have knowledge on the subject then thats fine...but if it's just something thats bothering u because u dont find it neccesary, i'd pick ur battles & keep out of it...everyone has their own vision&ideas for their day.

dinadisanto Posted:

Re: black tie at the larkfield manor

i agree black tie optional is a better choice for your guests. It gives them the freedom to dress as they feel comfortable and still lets them know that you would prefer them to be more dressy if they can.

AugustBridein09 Posted:

Re: black tie at the larkfield manor

I'm doing a black tie event but my family, friends, and FHs family are used to it.....all other weddings and family events we have are always pretty much black tie. So I guess its just what people are used to.


I agree with another poster too that a NICE designer suit can also sort of qualify as 'black tie'.
FutureMrsLV Posted:

Re: black tie at the larkfield manor

cammolax23 Posted:

Re: black tie at the larkfield manor

Posted by Snowflake08

i dont think larkfield manor warrants black tie; nor do most places AND i agree
it is inconsiderate of guests that are already spending money on the couple to have to rent or buy a tux or gown



I definalty agree... does she have a reason for doing black tie? sometimes people say black tie optional.. maybe you can convince her to do that. The money issue is the biggest thing- esp for those you say are spending a lot of money on other weddings already!

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