XOXO

incognito Posted: Feb 13, 2003 10:06 AM

x

JENHOS Posted: Feb 13, 2003 10:10 AM

Re: NEED HELP WITH DELICATE SITUATION

Well....you could take his sis out and treat her to a new pair of shoes. This would avoid them spending the extra money and could be seen as a 'bonding' opportunity. Could she possibly return the shoes?

or

If you don't think the silver shoes would be bad then you could ask all the girls to wear them. Or make an even mix of people wearing black and silver. If the dress is floor length and the shoes are open toed you may not really notice them.

Can they be dyed?

ChristineC68 Posted: Feb 13, 2003 10:10 AM

Re: NEED HELP WITH DELICATE SITUATION

Can she exchange the shoes so she it doesn't cost more money? Also, black shoes are easier to come by then silver ones so she may be able to find them more easily and for less money. Could you offer to take the FSIL shopping to get the replacement shoes?

I am sure they will be understanding and thought it would look nice, which I am sure it does, just not what you want.

Good luck

Sassyz75 Posted: Feb 13, 2003 10:10 AM

Re: NEED HELP WITH DELICATE SITUATION

Listen- don't sweat it. The dress is long, you'll only see the back of the heels and to tell you honestly- NO ONE- not one person looks at shoes.. they'll all be looking at everyone's faces. If someone does look @ the shoes and mention something to you- which they won't- tell them to see counseling.

I can't even tell you who wore what type of shoes at my wedding- I was basking in the moment... let it go and concentrate on more important things- like your FFIL getting a job.

Sassy Posted: Feb 13, 2003 10:12 AM

Re: NEED HELP WITH DELICATE SITUATION

Hmmm........... I understand you want to be delicate, so do just that. Tell her nicely that silver versus black will definitely stand out, and everyone else got or is getting black. She should've asked you first. Can they return the silver shoes or exchange them for black? That way she's not putting out extra $$$.

kptoys Posted: Feb 13, 2003 10:14 AM

Re: NEED HELP WITH DELICATE SITUATION

I agree with Dina. People dont look at other people shoes ESPECIALLY when they arent thr bride. People will be looking at you all day and not what your BM's are wearing.

If it is such an issue with you, you could contribute to a different pair of shoes telling your FSIL exactly why you want your girls in black shoes, she might get a little pi$$y but eventually she will understand. Have FH with you when you tell her for support. I wouldnt pay for her new shoes entirely because shes 17 and should have some $ of her own. You have enough to pay for

If $$ is such an issue have her go to Pay Less or something and get a pair of shoes for like $15. How often is she going to wear them after the wedding anyway?

incognito Posted: Feb 13, 2003 10:17 AM

x

dcbride Posted: Feb 13, 2003 10:18 AM

Re: NEED HELP WITH DELICATE SITUATION

I don't think that the shoes are really a big deal. I would ask to see if the can exchange the shoes. If you are really upset about it I am sure you can get a cheap pair of black shoes for FSIL somewhere. I got a pair for $20 at Banana Republic.

Claud2001 Posted: Feb 13, 2003 10:25 AM

Re: NEED HELP WITH DELICATE SITUATION

I don't think that BM shoes is one of the things that you should stress yourself over. All of my girls wore different shoes - some of them found a color to match the dress, which was Mocha, and some had their shoes dyed to match. The dyables, however, came out very wrong. Apparently, they looked like they had a purple sheen to them. But guess what? I NEVER noticed it or even knew about it, and no one else cared. So, I'd say if you can get over it, than it's not a big deal - especially if there is a silver embroidery in the dress. They will still match, in fact, probably better than black. JMO.

positanos Posted: Feb 13, 2003 10:26 AM

Re: NEED HELP WITH DELICATE SITUATION

Shoes can often be returned or exchanged if they have not been worn. I would look into this possibility.

avesur Posted: Feb 13, 2003 10:31 AM

Re: NEED HELP WITH DELICATE SITUATION

why are you worried about the outdoor pictures? just curious! I am wearing silver sandals with my gown and I never thought it would be a problem outdoors. Why don't look at their shoes, and if they are so pretty, then talk to the other girls to see what they have to say.

And as someone already said, you could treat them with a pair of black shoes as a way to bond with them.

good luck!

Elena

mmm Posted: Feb 13, 2003 10:33 AM

Re: NEED HELP WITH DELICATE SITUATION

I do not think it is a big deal if she wears the silver shoes. I was recently in a wedding where everyone had green-dyed-to-match shoes, excpet for one girl who had silver. I do not think anyone noticed and you could not tell in the pictures either. If she is that excited I would not say anything. You are the bride and all eyes will be on you!

CippyLoo Posted: Feb 13, 2003 10:37 AM

Re: NEED HELP WITH DELICATE SITUATION

I happen to like silver shoes with red better then black so I would let her wear the silver shoes and ask the other girls (provided they didn't buy shoes yet) to do the same but I haven't seen the dress so maybe black works better with it, JMO.

Scoop Posted: Feb 13, 2003 11:00 AM

Re: NEED HELP WITH DELICATE SITUATION

I wouldn't make a big deal about it. Honestly, who even looks at the bridesmaids shoes. If it really bothers you, I would offer to buy the shoes for her.

IrishTracy Posted: Feb 13, 2003 11:05 AM

Re: NEED HELP WITH DELICATE SITUATION

I agree w/ Scoop. My Sister asked me what color/type shoe I want them to wear. I told them I could care less! As long as they are comfortable!!!

Rob-luvs-me Posted: Feb 13, 2003 12:30 PM

Re: NEED HELP WITH DELICATE SITUATION

I know we all stress about the details I know I do- but as long as they match the dress if you are uncomfortable telling her to return them I wouldn't give it a second thought.
If it bothers you that much I would offer to take her shopping and pick out a pair together that you can treat her to. That way she gets the shoes you want her to wear AND you have not forced her to buy new ones which might make her uncomfortable.
Either way it will be ok

NYCMeghan Posted: Feb 13, 2003 12:37 PM

Re: NEED HELP WITH DELICATE SITUATION

here's an idea: why not buy her a pair of black shoes at Payless and have her wear those for the ceremony and the pictures, but then encourage her to wear the silver at the reception. The two of you can bond over buying the black shoes together, but then encourage her to be an individual with the silver shoes after the pictures and stuff? At 17 she probably could more encouragement to be independent...this would be a great way for you to support her as an individual AND keep the image you want for the ceremony & reception.

incognito Posted: Feb 13, 2003 04:50 PM

Re: NEED HELP WITH DELICATE SITUATION

bumping for more replies

JennRenee Posted: Feb 13, 2003 04:55 PM

Re: NEED HELP WITH DELICATE SITUATION

I had the SAME problem with my SIL and didn't want to upset the apple cart by telling her to get different shoes. HOWEVER when I mentioned in casual conversation that the other 7 girls were wearing the same color shoes she took it upon her self to switch hers.
Hope that helps.

shelzyp Posted: Feb 13, 2003 05:07 PM

Re: NEED HELP WITH DELICATE SITUATION

I would say if the silver shoes rally bother you for pictures, then get her a pair of black ones for the ceremony and pictures, and let her change after. She probably bought the shoes becaseu she liked them, and never realized that you would want them to all wear black shoes. For the bridla parties that I have been in, all of the younger girls, just don't get the fact that you want everyone to match.