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XOXO
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Re: Need advice,,, (sorry it's a little long)
Oh Jenny- sorry to hear you're sad.
FH thought we were starting too early too (2 years) He didn't even want to book the hall or anything. I waited 4 months to just enjoy the engagement, but then got too ansy!
I went w/ FH to the halls on the premis that we got this years rates if we went. He wasn't happy about booking, but after it was said and done, he came around when we finally had a 'date'.
Brought him to most of the photography places and video w/ me. Then, I just decided I was better off on my own. I asked him about the dj and he went on his own to see a few places that I had screened. For the most part, men don't like the wedding stuff, and I was ok with that.
Do not fret though, no matter how long it is, you will still be very excited when it comes around. I'm at the 6 month mark, and am bursting w/ joy over the date coming around the corner. So is he- we know summer is going to fly by!![]()
FH thought we were starting too early too (2 years) He didn't even want to book the hall or anything. I waited 4 months to just enjoy the engagement, but then got too ansy!
I went w/ FH to the halls on the premis that we got this years rates if we went. He wasn't happy about booking, but after it was said and done, he came around when we finally had a 'date'.
Brought him to most of the photography places and video w/ me. Then, I just decided I was better off on my own. I asked him about the dj and he went on his own to see a few places that I had screened. For the most part, men don't like the wedding stuff, and I was ok with that.
Do not fret though, no matter how long it is, you will still be very excited when it comes around. I'm at the 6 month mark, and am bursting w/ joy over the date coming around the corner. So is he- we know summer is going to fly by!
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Re: Need advice,,, (sorry it's a little long)
My FI is the same way. Our engagement will be 1 year and 8 months long. We waited one 1 month until we started the planning. I hear him complain a lot , especially about the registry. When things were discontinued, we had to go back and take things off and add things. Now I don't ask him for help with anything. I'm sick of hearing him complain and he says he doesn't care what I pick or do anyway as he won't notice, which is very true. I only have 3 months to go so I have almost everything done anyway. Just have your FI help out when it's really necessary. Have a family member go to appts with you if they can. My mom came to everything with me, my FI has not done much at all and he still complains!
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Re: Need advice,,, (sorry it's a little long)
My FI was the same way and still says 'don't we have time for that'? and we have about 4 months to go. P.S. Asked me when we're done with this can we start planning our 25th Wedding Anniversary. Smart A**.
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Re: Need advice,,, (sorry it's a little long)
sanmik, lol. I think our FHs are long lost brothers ![]()
We planned our wedding over 2 years, and I think it made everything a lot easier in terms of paying off vendors, getting your first choice, etc. Plus, you are able to take a break from planning every now and then, b/c you have lots of time. So you wont get burned out on it. My FH also thinks we have plenty of time for everything, if it were up to him hed chose his tux the day before. But now that we are 4 1/2 months away, and a lot of the details are already done, he thanks me. Most men are not that into planning anyway, so I say get started, make appointments, and he will get into it too, in his own way. Good luck!
We planned our wedding over 2 years, and I think it made everything a lot easier in terms of paying off vendors, getting your first choice, etc. Plus, you are able to take a break from planning every now and then, b/c you have lots of time. So you wont get burned out on it. My FH also thinks we have plenty of time for everything, if it were up to him hed chose his tux the day before. But now that we are 4 1/2 months away, and a lot of the details are already done, he thanks me. Most men are not that into planning anyway, so I say get started, make appointments, and he will get into it too, in his own way. Good luck!
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Re: Need advice,,, (sorry it's a little long)
My FH is the same way...but when I thought about it he is right. the only thing I booked was the hall and right now I'm taking a rest (my wedding is in July 2004)...I never stop looking though ![]()
and i'm helping others to plan their wedding (which are before mine). I research the internet and read what everyone says on here and what I realized is that the longer I wait, the more experience I become so that when i do book something I won't have any trouble (i'm not going to wait till the end to plan). I know when you read the boards it seems like you are so far behind in planning, but your not. There is no reason to rush but it still doesn't have to stop you from looking around. ![]()
IMO, just take your time, research and READ THE BOARDS!!!!
Good Luck Planning![]()
IMO, just take your time, research and READ THE BOARDS!!!!
Good Luck Planning
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Re: Need advice,,, (sorry it's a little long)
I did the same thing when we first got engaged. You're only doing it because your probably picking everything out right now. It'll die down and then a few months before the wedding you'll obsess again. DON'T WORRY!!!!
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Re: Need advice,,, (sorry it's a little long)
my Fh also started doing the same thing...
I now try and check out places before we eat so that we get it done early, and can feel relaxed and accompliced while we ate..... Once i said to him 'i'll look at the photographers and stuff on my own so that it can get done' but he then said no, that he wanted to be a part of it, and just to tell him which day exactly we are going to go out looking
I now try and check out places before we eat so that we get it done early, and can feel relaxed and accompliced while we ate..... Once i said to him 'i'll look at the photographers and stuff on my own so that it can get done' but he then said no, that he wanted to be a part of it, and just to tell him which day exactly we are going to go out looking
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Re: Need advice,,, (sorry it's a little long)
My FH was the same way. He wanted to wait with evrything. I told him I wanted to start getting things booked so we could pay them off. I also told him that I wanted to get started because I just started back at school and the next year leading up to our wedding was going to be crazy enough. Like a wonderful man he complied with my requests and he's even getting into things. Everyday I come home he points out how many days are left on our countdown clock. They all eventually come around.
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Re: Need advice,,, (sorry it's a little long)
Many of them just are clueless on the details of a wedding, and if they don't have sisters or women influence around them, it's even worse. Flowers and favors, cakes and linens, registry and the like, all gets done by the 'don't worry about it Fairy'. The women in my family crack up about it because apparently this Fairy only appears to men and she does everything without question or a second thought. God Bless.
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Re: Need advice,,, (sorry it's a little long)
Guys think weddings can be planned in two months. They have no idea the amount of planning that is involved. I have seven months to go and I still do not have a guest list from FI. It drives me crazy!!! But he thinks that I am crazy.
I just keep telling him that I dont want to have to do wedding stuff over the summer, but of course I will have to.
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I just keep telling him that I dont want to have to do wedding stuff over the summer, but of course I will have to.
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Re: Need advice,,, (sorry it's a little long)
jenny, our engagement was exactly one year, and in the first 6 months most of the planning was done. I was antsy too, but I knew that we didn't have all the 'extra' time. Now, its only 3 months left, FH still needs his tux and mom needs her dress, but for the most part we're in good shape and just can't wait to be married already and on our honeymoon.
FH complained a little in the beginning, but gladly participated in most non-girly things of wedding planning.
FH complained a little in the beginning, but gladly participated in most non-girly things of wedding planning.
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Re: Need advice,,, (sorry it's a little long)
starting early is a good thing...but thank goodness I found LIW...and other boards...so that I didn't have to drive my friends, DH, and family nits talking about it...
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Re: Need advice,,, (sorry it's a little long)
sanmik - your response was dead-on regarding the 'don't worry about it fairy' and I think perhaps you must secretly be engaged to one of FH's brothers. I think it's safe to agree with all of the ladies here who have stated that most men just don't get into planning, period. My FH was so out of touch, coming from a family of four boys (no sisters) and a mother who functions with the 'y' chromosome that engagement rings were like high school class rings. He thought that once you were married, you didn't wear the diamond ring anymore. Where did he get this idea? From his mother, of course.
At any rate, your FH will likely follow your lead. He will probably leave some things up to you and that's ok too. I've found that when I don't push, he comes around.
Good luck!![]()
At any rate, your FH will likely follow your lead. He will probably leave some things up to you and that's ok too. I've found that when I don't push, he comes around.
Good luck!
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Re: Need advice,,, (sorry it's a little long)
I have 2 years to go and have the church, hall, photo, video, and florist. FH is trying to get in on every little detail, which is nice. He wants to be included in every little decision dealing with the wedding. (He even thought he was going with me to shop for my gown!)
I'm sorry you FH is being like this, but give him some time, he'll come around. Especially when he hears what kind of $$ you'll be saving by getting this years prices. Thtas the only reason I'm doing it this early- plus it relieves most of the stress as the day approaches. You don't have as much chaos, and you have that much more taken care of already!![]()
I'm sorry you FH is being like this, but give him some time, he'll come around. Especially when he hears what kind of $$ you'll be saving by getting this years prices. Thtas the only reason I'm doing it this early- plus it relieves most of the stress as the day approaches. You don't have as much chaos, and you have that much more taken care of already!
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Re: Need advice,,, (sorry it's a little long)
I'm sorry you are so upset about this. I am sure as the wedding gets closer, he will want to do more for it. I can understand it being difficult to get all worked up to go interview photographers and entertainment companies and all the running around (in this cr@ppy weather) after work, etc. But I am sure when the pressure is on, he'll be right there.
In the meantime, you have LIW to get your wedding chat out. It's great to have a place to chat about weddings with people that pretty much know what you are going through.
Having been in your shoes, I would have LOVED for my DH to not be involved in the wedding planning. He was such a pain in the patuttie...LOL Can you imagine arguing with your FH/DH about table linens & colors of ink on a menu card? hahaha
In the meantime, you have LIW to get your wedding chat out. It's great to have a place to chat about weddings with people that pretty much know what you are going through.
Having been in your shoes, I would have LOVED for my DH to not be involved in the wedding planning. He was such a pain in the patuttie...LOL Can you imagine arguing with your FH/DH about table linens & colors of ink on a menu card? hahaha
