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XOXO
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Re: Insecure Bride
I would ignore her. Her requests are rediculous. I would be honest about what you are doing about your hair and makeup and dress. Explain to her exactly how you feel and if she still gives you grief, then maybe you should consider not being part of the wedding. By singling you out, she sounds jealous of you and she's being mean to you.
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Re: Insecure Bride
I'm sorry you are going through this! ![]()
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Re: Insecure Bride
it is rude for her to expect you to look undone for her wedding. if anything you will stick out more because you will look so much different than the other bridesmaids. i wonder if she understands that?
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Re: Insecure Bride
If you have always had a good relationship with her...why not ask her what's up? Just tell her I don't understand why I am the ONLY person you are asking this of.
I wouldn't be able to ignore it...sorry.
Plus how can you not do your hair...would she rather you look like a wreck?? (NOT saying you aren't a pretty girl)
That's just not nice!!
Good luck!!![]()
I wouldn't be able to ignore it...sorry.
Plus how can you not do your hair...would she rather you look like a wreck?? (NOT saying you aren't a pretty girl)
That's just not nice!!
Good luck!!
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Re: Insecure Bride
You should let her know that NOBODY can outshine a bride on her wedding day. Be honest with her, would she want to be in a bridal party and not have her hair or make-up done? As far as the dress is concerned...that's crazy. I would ignore that whole thing.
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Re: Insecure Bride
I can't imagine why she feels that way. Maybe she thinks she's not as pretty as you are?!? But brides are always georgeous!!! I would say 'OK' and do what you want anyway. I mean I would also rather my girls not get their hair done just like mine for the wedding but I think I'm also getting rhinestones put into my hair so that will look different. As for the dresses, she knew they would be cleavage enhancing so why choose them? Sounds like she's only feeling this way recently so maybe have FH talk to her FH and maybe he can let her know that in no way could anyone upstage her on her special day =)
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Re: Insecure Bride
honeltly, it sounds like a simple case of jealousy...and instead of being upset with her....you should almost feel bad for her....
To think she is that insecure that she thinks that one of her bridesmaids will 'outshine' her on her wedding day?
To make peace (even though her requests are REDICULOUS) I would tell that you will do whatever you can to ensure her comfort on her wedding day....As silly as it is, she is obviously jealous and insecure and rather than being mad, try to be the bigger person (as hard as that might be).
Don't get me wrong....I would be mad too, but she is your FSIL and for the sake of 'family' I would just go along with her silly requests....
(just do your own hair and make-up REALLY GOOD...lol!)
To think she is that insecure that she thinks that one of her bridesmaids will 'outshine' her on her wedding day?
To make peace (even though her requests are REDICULOUS) I would tell that you will do whatever you can to ensure her comfort on her wedding day....As silly as it is, she is obviously jealous and insecure and rather than being mad, try to be the bigger person (as hard as that might be).
Don't get me wrong....I would be mad too, but she is your FSIL and for the sake of 'family' I would just go along with her silly requests....
(just do your own hair and make-up REALLY GOOD...lol!)
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Re: Insecure Bride
First of all, she needs to be told that no one outshines the bride, even if the the bride is ugly and her BMs are supermodels.
Secondly, by having you not have your hair and makeup done will only make you stand out MORE! It would look stupid IMHO, thereby making the bride look foolish that she allowed one of her BMs to come to the wedding without getting ready for it!
Seriously, she's jealous and needs to get over it and act a little more mature. I mean, she's getting married - she should be more concerned with her FH and marraige than whether or not someone is prettier than she is. I don't mean to sound harsh, JMHO.![]()
Secondly, by having you not have your hair and makeup done will only make you stand out MORE! It would look stupid IMHO, thereby making the bride look foolish that she allowed one of her BMs to come to the wedding without getting ready for it!
Seriously, she's jealous and needs to get over it and act a little more mature. I mean, she's getting married - she should be more concerned with her FH and marraige than whether or not someone is prettier than she is. I don't mean to sound harsh, JMHO.
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Re: Insecure Bride
Eeeek! Holy cow! ![]()
She is insecure!
If you are the only one she asked this of, I would agree that you need to talk to her. Please don't take this the wrong way, but is your style normally a little, um... attention seeking? If so, maybe she'd just like for you to tone it down for a day.
It's a crazy request, but it's only one day. Maybe for the sake of family, just go along with it.
She is insecure!
If you are the only one she asked this of, I would agree that you need to talk to her. Please don't take this the wrong way, but is your style normally a little, um... attention seeking? If so, maybe she'd just like for you to tone it down for a day.
It's a crazy request, but it's only one day. Maybe for the sake of family, just go along with it.
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Re: Insecure Bride
Your FSIL seems like a very insecure person - it's really kind of sad, however, I agree that you are the only one that will stick out if you are not 'done up'. I would definitely voice my concerns to her and if she still does not oblige, I would graciously back out. You are not the one that would be causing 'friction' between the families. I think everyone else will see that too.
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Re: Insecure Bride
You know what...it may sound crazy to you but, it is HER DAY. She is the bride and, honestly, if you don't like it...tell her that she is being unreasonable and you don't think you can be in her wedding party.
I don't think ignoring her is the right thing to do. Obviously these things are important to her. If I asked one of my bridesmaid specifically to do/or not to do something and they ignored me...i would be very angry. JMO.![]()
I don't think ignoring her is the right thing to do. Obviously these things are important to her. If I asked one of my bridesmaid specifically to do/or not to do something and they ignored me...i would be very angry. JMO.
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Re: Insecure Bride
No offense taken to that one :)--my style is not attention seeking--it has become the exact opposite in fact. I dress very conservatively and am not outlandish with hair/makeup. It's really sad that I get persecuted for being attractive, but I have handled it throughout the years. It's just difficult to take coming from my future sister-in-law (especially since I am new to NY do not have many friends here).
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Re: Insecure Bride
Without knowing your FSIL, I would say that she is a self-centered person who feels threatened by you for some reason. Perhaps she feels you may be a more beautiful bride and she has the ability to control whether you are more beautiful than her on her wedding day....sounds silly but may be. Every Bride wants to be the most beautiful woman in the room on her wedding day but her requests have crossed the line. You can either chalk it up to insecurity and let it roll of your back or confront her. It all depends on what your comfortable with.
Perhaps we will see her on the next episode of Bridezillas???
Perhaps we will see her on the next episode of Bridezillas???
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Re: Insecure Bride
wow.. very insecure.
I know that when I was BM for my brother's wedding no one told me a thing. I figured since it was a wedding I should you know.. 'clean up'. Did the hair, nails, make up and jewelry thing. Boy was I surprised.. I was point blank told by the bride (My SIL now) as she cried out her misery that I wasn't supposed to look better than her and she just 'couldn't' believe how I flaunted my better figure and did up my hair better than hers.
I felt like a jerk.. UNTIL she says 'why couldnt you have been like you normally are?'. For peace of my family I decided i needed to check the garden outside if you get my drift. To this day, I don't have a single photo from the wedding nor seen any of the pictures.
I jokingly told my BM's they could do what they want, as long as I look better than them. I have enough self-confidence that I could care less. But it reminds me of that wedding.
I think you need to just do what you need to do. I'd talk to her. I'd explain that she's the one in the white dress with the smile from ear to ear and the everyone's there for. Poor thing. I kinda feel bad for her. So sad.
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I know that when I was BM for my brother's wedding no one told me a thing. I figured since it was a wedding I should you know.. 'clean up'. Did the hair, nails, make up and jewelry thing. Boy was I surprised.. I was point blank told by the bride (My SIL now) as she cried out her misery that I wasn't supposed to look better than her and she just 'couldn't' believe how I flaunted my better figure and did up my hair better than hers.
I felt like a jerk.. UNTIL she says 'why couldnt you have been like you normally are?'. For peace of my family I decided i needed to check the garden outside if you get my drift. To this day, I don't have a single photo from the wedding nor seen any of the pictures.
I jokingly told my BM's they could do what they want, as long as I look better than them. I have enough self-confidence that I could care less. But it reminds me of that wedding.
I think you need to just do what you need to do. I'd talk to her. I'd explain that she's the one in the white dress with the smile from ear to ear and the everyone's there for. Poor thing. I kinda feel bad for her. So sad.
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Re: Insecure Bride
Wow I'm sorry you're going thru that, sounds like she's unconsciously jealous of you. I'd tell her that I won't do anything more/less than I do any other day & leave it at that. When everyone's gushing over her on her wedding day, she'll forget she even made those requests.
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Re: Insecure Bride
THis Bride is definitely insecure and has a lot of gall to suggest you NOT wear makeup or do your hair and to have your dress done a certain way. Even if I were secretly insecure, I would never verbalize it.
The BRIDE is always the center of attention, no matter what, she should feel confident about it.
THat being said, it is HER DAY. It seems as before this, you got along very well. If so, and bc you will always be a part of each other's lives, I suggest appeasing her. You will have YOUR day and she will have to do the same for you too.
My 2 cents...GOOD LUCK!
The BRIDE is always the center of attention, no matter what, she should feel confident about it.
THat being said, it is HER DAY. It seems as before this, you got along very well. If so, and bc you will always be a part of each other's lives, I suggest appeasing her. You will have YOUR day and she will have to do the same for you too.
My 2 cents...GOOD LUCK!
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Re: Insecure Bride
OMG!! I have never heard of such a thing!! Her requests are so ridiculous, that personally, I think I would do the opposite of what she asked!! Sounds downright crazy!! Sorry you have to deal with this, it is not right!!![]()
