XP from BHB: Rehearsal Dinner Question! (sorry its long, but I need your advice)

Are you having any sort of rehearsal dinner or get-together the night before your wedding???

If you are, who do you plan on inviting?!


Here's my story ....

We are having an interfaith ceremony at the reception hall ... i'm jewish, fh is catholic.

We will not be doing any actual 'rehearsing' of the ceremony ... maybe a few funny speeches from the bp, we'd give the bp their gifts, etc.

I'm stuck in the middle between my mom who wants a huge 'let's invite EVERYONE' shindig and my fh who would much rather a small intimate family & bp dinner. I want to make everyone happy, and its just making me miserable!

My family is HUGE .... if we only invited aunts, uncles and cousins it would be a guest list of over 75+ people! FH says that's crazy to have that many people the night before our 175 person wedding, that he thinks it will make the wedding day less special or something.

I tried talking to my mom today about compromising on this one (ha!!) and not inviting children, and she basically had a fit. Its hard to ask her to compromise since my parents are paying for everything. I'm not sure yet who's paying for the RD, it might be my parents and it might be fh's parents.

Basically, these are the options I've come up with:

1) not do anything the night before! (maybe i'll get a good nights sleep?!)

2) make mom happy, let her invite who ever she wants ... whats the big deal?!

3) let fh have his way with this one and insist on a compromise from my mom.

I'm open to other suggestions, I'm just so frustrated right now and I don't know who else I can ask about this.

What to do? What to do?

Hi there! We are also getting married at the reception hall, what we decided to do was have a very short practice the night before and then go out with the bridal party and parents for dinner. This will be the night before the wedding, but it wont be a huge crowd or a long party, we will have a VERY busy day the next day! :)

I kind of agree with your FH, if you keep it small it may mean more the next day when everyone is all together.

I am in your same situation w/ family size. I am getting married at my reception site too. So, this is what I decided to do:
We are having a RD at FMIL's house. I am ONLY inviting my family from OOT (15 people or so), my BP & their sig. others, me, FH, his parents and thats it. None of his family is coming b/c that would be 30+ people just on his side. All of his family lives in NY. FH & I live in F.L., so does my mom & bro., my family is flying in from all over the country. We thought it would be a great time for our parents to get to know each other and make my (OOT) family feel welcomed. I'm excited about it.
I hope none of his family get upset, but
A. I don't care and
B. Thats what the wedding is for.
Good luck!