You know you're from Long Island if ...
... you feel like you know Howard Stern.
... when you're away from Long Island, you love it and when you're there, you don't.
... you know the exact point at which Queens turns into Nassau simply on intuition.
... you're still waiting for a bridge to Connecticut.
... you've tried to use your father's monthly ticket to ride the LIRR. And it worked.
... you've never really fully evaluated the meaning of the name Hicksville.
... you know where the Commack Motor Inn is but you 'have never been there.'
... you've never been to Times Square on New Year's Eve.
... no, you don't want mustard on that burger!
... the most exciting day of summer is when all tickets to every Jones Beach show go on sale.
... you want the Yankees to stay in the Bronx, but would probably go to more games if they moved to Manhattan.
... you can order a pizza pie and a soda and people will understand.
... you've never taken an MTA bus.
... you felt slighted when Snapple sold out.
... you don't associate Fire Island with gay men.
... when you hear Billy Joel's 'Scenes From an Italian Restaurant' you try to figure out where it is. It's Christiano's in Syosset.
... you know which parts of 'The Godfather' were filmed on LI.
... you've said stupid things like, 'Strong Island.'
... you always liked Billy Joel, but as soon as you leave, you love Billy Joel.
... you don't see the big deal about the Hamptons.
... you think if you're not from Long Island or NYC, you're not really from New York.
... you don't go to Manhattan, you go to 'The City.'
... you never realize you have an accent until you leave.
... at some point in your life, you've gone clamming.
... you curse. A lot.
... if your parents didn't, your grandparents lived in the city.
... you or someone you know has gotten an animal from North Shore Animal League.
... you never want to 'change at Jamaica.'
... your parents took you to Nathan's or Carvel (on the way home from the beach).
... you can name at least three players on the Islanders' Stanley Cup teams.
... you cope with the fact that the Islanders have completely tanked since LaFontaine left.
... you remember the exact day you stopped going to Jones Beach and started going to Robert Moses.
... you've had a seagull poop on your car.
... even the concept of the Islanders ever leaving is unrealistic.
... you've cruised on the 'turnpike.'
... you know someone with a cabana.
... you've played golf at Eisenhower Park (legally or otherwise).
... you hate paying tolls.
... you don't have to go far to see your family.
... you know the difference between WLIR and WDRE, even though they played the same music.
... you were an Islander/Met/Jet fan or a Ranger/Yankee/Giant fan. There was no crossover.
... you can correctly pronounce Hauppauge, Commack, Islip, ('I slip' not 'Is lip') Islandia ('I landia' not Is Landia') and Massapequa.
... there are no real bagels or pizza anywhere else (except The City).
... when you're away from Long Island, you love it and when you're there, you don't.
... you know the exact point at which Queens turns into Nassau simply on intuition.
... you're still waiting for a bridge to Connecticut.
... you've tried to use your father's monthly ticket to ride the LIRR. And it worked.
... you've never really fully evaluated the meaning of the name Hicksville.
... you know where the Commack Motor Inn is but you 'have never been there.'
... you've never been to Times Square on New Year's Eve.
... no, you don't want mustard on that burger!
... the most exciting day of summer is when all tickets to every Jones Beach show go on sale.
... you want the Yankees to stay in the Bronx, but would probably go to more games if they moved to Manhattan.
... you can order a pizza pie and a soda and people will understand.
... you've never taken an MTA bus.
... you felt slighted when Snapple sold out.
... you don't associate Fire Island with gay men.
... when you hear Billy Joel's 'Scenes From an Italian Restaurant' you try to figure out where it is. It's Christiano's in Syosset.
... you know which parts of 'The Godfather' were filmed on LI.
... you've said stupid things like, 'Strong Island.'
... you always liked Billy Joel, but as soon as you leave, you love Billy Joel.
... you don't see the big deal about the Hamptons.
... you think if you're not from Long Island or NYC, you're not really from New York.
... you don't go to Manhattan, you go to 'The City.'
... you never realize you have an accent until you leave.
... at some point in your life, you've gone clamming.
... you curse. A lot.
... if your parents didn't, your grandparents lived in the city.
... you or someone you know has gotten an animal from North Shore Animal League.
... you never want to 'change at Jamaica.'
... your parents took you to Nathan's or Carvel (on the way home from the beach).
... you can name at least three players on the Islanders' Stanley Cup teams.
... you cope with the fact that the Islanders have completely tanked since LaFontaine left.
... you remember the exact day you stopped going to Jones Beach and started going to Robert Moses.
... you've had a seagull poop on your car.
... even the concept of the Islanders ever leaving is unrealistic.
... you've cruised on the 'turnpike.'
... you know someone with a cabana.
... you've played golf at Eisenhower Park (legally or otherwise).
... you hate paying tolls.
... you don't have to go far to see your family.
... you know the difference between WLIR and WDRE, even though they played the same music.
... you were an Islander/Met/Jet fan or a Ranger/Yankee/Giant fan. There was no crossover.
... you can correctly pronounce Hauppauge, Commack, Islip, ('I slip' not 'Is lip') Islandia ('I landia' not Is Landia') and Massapequa.
... there are no real bagels or pizza anywhere else (except The City).
