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Your not my MOH anymore

MrsJones2B Posted:

Your not my MOH anymore

milana Posted:

Re: Your not my MOH anymore

ouch...im so sorry youre in this situation. However you are definitly making the right choice by making your two sisters your MOH's, i also asked my little sister to be my MOH because after all she is my sister, and the person i know who will always be there for me in life. I hope that once you break the news to your friends they understand and wont be upset with you and still attend your wedding. Good Luck
Elise&Matt Posted:

Re: Your not my MOH anymore

that's why I chose my sister and my best friens hey after 30 yrs of friendship she's a sister too!

poogie Posted:

Re: Your not my MOH anymore

see i kinda had the same situation. i think the excitment of being engaged and getting married kinda puts a real sheer coating on whats real real real and whats not so real. my sister and i arent that close and there are friends and cousins that i am closer to. we are just very very different and never seem to agree to dissagree on much. i luv her dearly and always will because she is my sister. i asked my cousin of whom knows ten times more about me than my sister. i felt a littel wierd but i had to have myself understand what i was doing and how it made me feel. my mother had many many comments on my selection but the ultimate decision was mine. for you on the other hand, if they are your 'true' friends they will understand the changes you need to make in your bridal party....the next thing is, how are your sisters going to feel? will they feel second to your friends? have they expressed their feelings about not being your moh's in your wedding. I am more than sure that this will work out for you. Good Luck....your heart is already telling you what to do
Pencils Posted:

Re: Your not my MOH anymore

Wow, that's unfortunate. I've heard so many bad stories about losing friends completely when they were demoted or 'fired' from a bridal party. I hope your friends take the news well. Maybe you can put it to them as 'I'm going to need a LOT of help from my MOHs, and I know you guys don't want to do that much, or can't do that much, but I can get my sisters to do it. But don't worry, you're still bridesmaids!' That way it seems like you're doing it for their benefit, not yours. And tell them all the things you're going to want your MOHs to do, whether it's true or not. Make stuff up, even, so they won't want to be the MOH anymore. Shopping with you every weekened. Making the invites and lots and lots of DIY. I'm sure you can thinki of things!

Good luck.
StarryEyedBride Posted:

Re: Your not my MOH anymore

aww... this is a toughie. If thats really how you feel, just be honest with them. As long as your sis' are just as dedicated and committed to your wedding, then be confident in your choices. You'll appreciate this change down the road a lot.. family is so important.

Vicky423 Posted:

Re: Your not my MOH anymore

well i have to say follow your heart. I made a pact with my BF (back in HS) that we would be each others MOHs, so when I got engaged it was a no brainer. Well along the whole wedding planning process, she wasn't what I thought I MOH should be and like you said my mother noticed it and talked to me about, but I felt bad taking it back after we had agreed. BUT after I while I didn't care anymore, I thought this is my wedding its going to be my memories so I changed my MOH to the closet thing I have to a sister my next door nieghbor. SO if you feel like 10 yrs from now you will regret not having your sisters as your MOHs then you should consider changing MOHs

EverlovingEv Posted:

Re: Your not my MOH anymore

Be very careful how you tell them. I'm sure they'll feel rejected and it might break their hearts. I've heard of friendships ending b/c of stuff like this and i'm really sorry you have to do it.

How about having 4 MOH's? Or make your sisters something else and keep the two friends MOH's? It's your wedding and you can invent a higher title for your sisters if you wanted to. That's what I would do - i wouldn't downgrade my friends. Good Luck!!!
diva7531 Posted:

Re: Your not my MOH anymore

So sorry you are in this situation, I too jumped at a couple of things when I got engaged. Are you MOH's not fullfilling their duties, would your sis's be better, why didn't you choose them in the first place? Will you lose freindships over this? I think maybe a shuffle would be worse than leaving it as is. If you reall ywant to ask your sis's, then ask them w/o asking your friends to stepdown, have 4, whatever, some people have 20-25 BM's these days nothing is so far out of the box that it can't be done. Unless they are truly understanding girls, that will understand w/o judgement, I probably wouldn't ask them to step down, but that is just me!

MrsJones2B Posted:

Re: Your not my MOH anymore

I like the idea from EverlovingEv, to give my sisters a higher position. I don't want to downgrade my friends, its hard.

I feel like I have to be mean about it. I dont want my current MOH's to be JUST a bridesmaids, I want them to be a little more than that, but my sisters have to come first.

I didnt think of having my sisters as my MOH's before, maybe because they're older than me, and one is already married with children. I guess I can make her a Matron of Honor.

Recently, one sis moved to GA and the other to FL, and i think the distance has brought us closer than before.

As I go through all the wedding trouble and planning and fustration, my sister's are on the phone with me helping me work through it, they're both OOT but they are so much more involved in everything that I've been going through so far.

My current MOH's are very busy and tied up in their own lives. I can totally understand that their lives wont stop for me.

But my sisters are my sisters, they've raised.

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