Your Opinions please -- what to do with FFIL

As many of you read from a previous post, my FFIL proved himself to be very insensitive, and quite a jerk with regard to the unfortunate passing of my mother and the hard time I'm having throughout this process without her. Not only that, but he screamed at me in front of his entire family for an unjustified reason. Now, he left a monotone message saying that it wouldn't happen again and that he loves me (yeah right) but I still want to scream. Well...not really, but send him an email giving my two cents on the situation. My father says I should just drop it all together and just hold FFIL for the jerk he is. What do you think -- give him (politely) a piece of my mind, or keep quiet?

I don't want to re-hash anything, especially so close to my wedding, but I think its time he really knows how I feel. I don't think FH telling him how wrong he was and how upset he made me is necessarily enough.

Your thoughts?

I can understand why your upset, and rightfully so. However, I seems that he is trying to make an effort to smooth the situation before your wedding so that there are less hard feelings and tension on your big day. I say let bygones be bygones for now, he did apologize, and get through your wedding day without any additional drama. You don't need that.

Get a secret punching ball and put his pic on it...and vent, punch, kick, etc...

Honestly, I would drop it. I know you have to bit your tongue and it's not easy but it's only going to make it worse if you talk your mind. You know how you feel and he probably does also.

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Posted by mrsh2b

I can understand why your upset, and rightfully so. However, I seems that he is trying to make an effort to smooth the situation before your wedding so that there are less hard feelings and tension on your big day. I say let bygones be bygones for now, he did apologize, and get through your wedding day without any additional drama. You don't need that.

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I agree!!

maybe you could write out the email you'd LIKE to send and then post it for us to read........or just send it to yourself.

that may give you a little tiny bit of release, although, with how insensitive he was, i certainly understand wanting to tell him off.

i agree with the other posters that he's trying to smooth things over, and certain people are only capable of so much,,,,so he might not ever 'get it,' no matter how much you explain it, unfortunately.

let it go. i had to do the same thing with FBIL who left a NASTY list of my 'wrongdoings' lying around last week. the anger will just make you look bad. sorry, not what you wanted to hear, but it's true.

From the way you described him and the situation, I would say it took A LOT for him to call and apologize!! Even if you feel it's too little too late, I agree, let it go, maybe he realizes he was a jerk and wishes he could take it back. I was actually a little surprised to read that he did attempt to apologize!

Nothing is going to make you feel better about not having your mom by your at your wedding and during the planning. That is an open wound that will chafe easily and your FFIL certainly was insensitive to say the least. But for now, cherish your mom's memory and be the bigger person for her sake.

Have a beautiful wedding, there will be time to iron out the other BS later! Hugs and best wishes to you!

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Posted by Smiles111

maybe you could write out the email you'd LIKE to send and then post it for us to read........or just send it to yourself.

that may give you a little tiny bit of release, although, with how insensitive he was, i certainly understand wanting to tell him off.

i agree with the other posters that he's trying to smooth things over, and certain people are only capable of so much,,,,so he might not ever 'get it,' no matter how much you explain it, unfortunately.

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I agree FULLY with above! How many times have I vented on an e-mail and sent it to friends.... It makes you feel SOOOOOOOOOO much better, almost like you said it all already. Get all your feelings out one way or the other but don't talk to him about it anymore. He obviously had a swallow a lot in order to do what he did. Keep your head up. ENJOY YOUR WEDDING! No matter what your FFIL is not worth it!