Ok, so I don't mind the color black, it is slimming. However, do you think I should mention to her that she will be wearing the same color as all the men and won't stand out. Also,... my whole entire side is wearing gowns, like to the floor. Should I tell her this? Or just let her wear what she has chosen? I don't want her to say I did not tell her.
ant n tilde
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Re: FMIL- Wants to wear black.... Opinions
hmm well i don't think we are in any position to really tell adults what to wear
for example, FH's grandma is wearing WHITE! lol
BUT black for me is a little bit strange, in italian culture if the FMIL wears black it means she is 'mourning' the loss of her son and she doesn't give her blessing to the marriage. Now, this is totally OLD SCHOOL but before FMIL went shopping I mentioned it to her because I wouldn't want anyone from MY side to think that she didn't approve of the marriage.
She had heard of that so she got a gold dress instead and it all worked out. As for being formal - well, my mom is wearing a gown and his mom is wearing a dress that I think would be appropriate for a formal dinner maybe? But, its not my place to say anything. I showed her my mom's dress so she knows the deal and she chose to stick with her dress so maybe you can just try that.
Just 'share' everyone's dress choices with her but don't tell her why basically.
good luck!
jgl
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Re: FMIL- Wants to wear black.... Opinions
i think black is fine. my firends mom wore black and she looked great!
ETA my cousin had black bridesmaids dresses and the guys had black tuxes and that looked great also!!!
DNS91308
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Re: FMIL- Wants to wear black.... Opinions
I dont think black is too bad, I went to a wedding where the MOB wore this beautiful black gown with all this silver beading at the bodice and around the hem it was very nice. But it was also very formal.
I dont think the color is as big an issue but her dress not being formal enough might be. I would say something about that.
LB and DC
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Re: FMIL- Wants to wear black.... Opinions
Posted by ant n tilde
hmm well i don't think we are in any position to really tell adults what to wear
for example, FH's grandma is wearing WHITE! lol
BUT black for me is a little bit strange, in italian culture if the FMIL wears black it means she is 'mourning' the loss of her son and she doesn't give her blessing to the marriage. Now, this is totally OLD SCHOOL but before FMIL went shopping I mentioned it to her because I wouldn't want anyone from MY side to think that she didn't approve of the marriage.
She had heard of that so she got a gold dress instead and it all worked out. As for being formal - well, my mom is wearing a gown and his mom is wearing a dress that I think would be appropriate for a formal dinner maybe? But, its not my place to say anything. I showed her my mom's dress so she knows the deal and she chose to stick with her dress so maybe you can just try that.
Just 'share' everyone's dress choices with her but don't tell her why basically.
good luck!
my FMIL is wearing black - and their entire side of the family is 100% italian! i had heard the same thing about italian weddings, but i am pretty sure my FMIL likes me ...
as for the black dress, yes, i think it's fine. black is classy and flattering on everyone!
MrsD71208
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Re: FMIL- Wants to wear black.... Opinions
Coming from a traditonal Italian family, black is a no-no. There shouldn't be any hint of mourning/death on such a joyous occasion. If your family doesn't believe in this, I guess black with silver sequins/beading would work.
ant n tilde
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Re: FMIL- Wants to wear black.... Opinions
Posted by LB and DC
Posted by ant n tilde
hmm well i don't think we are in any position to really tell adults what to wear
for example, FH's grandma is wearing WHITE! lol
BUT black for me is a little bit strange, in italian culture if the FMIL wears black it means she is 'mourning' the loss of her son and she doesn't give her blessing to the marriage. Now, this is totally OLD SCHOOL but before FMIL went shopping I mentioned it to her because I wouldn't want anyone from MY side to think that she didn't approve of the marriage.
She had heard of that so she got a gold dress instead and it all worked out. As for being formal - well, my mom is wearing a gown and his mom is wearing a dress that I think would be appropriate for a formal dinner maybe? But, its not my place to say anything. I showed her my mom's dress so she knows the deal and she chose to stick with her dress so maybe you can just try that.
Just 'share' everyone's dress choices with her but don't tell her why basically.
good luck!
my FMIL is wearing black - and their entire side of the family is 100% italian! i had heard the same thing about italian weddings, but i am pretty sure my FMIL likes me ...
as for the black dress, yes, i think it's fine. black is classy and flattering on everyone!
no worries! it depends on each family and what they believe!! i am sure she loves you!
i think black looks great and my two dresses that i am wearing to the 73 weddings i have next year (bc i am poor) are black! lol
TheMrandMrsof2008
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Re: FMIL- Wants to wear black.... Opinions
Well she is Italian....
ant n tilde
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Re: FMIL- Wants to wear black.... Opinions
omg i don't want to make anyone paranoid!
my family is strange, we make things up, dont listen to us!
Espo22
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Re: FMIL- Wants to wear black.... Opinions
for me personally i want both of our mothers to wear something that makes them stand out more. But I guess if she has her heart set on black theres not much you can do, unless you say, hey i want you to stand out more or something like that lol
nifheim
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Re: FMIL- Wants to wear black.... Opinions
My mom is wearing black, the bm are wearing black, the all men in the wedding party are wearing all black (black shirts) so for me no black is not a problem. I personally think its flattering for most body types.
If it would really bother you about the color then inform her nicely that you would like her to have a nice lovely color such as , etc. etc.
ant n tilde
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Re: FMIL- Wants to wear black.... Opinions
Posted by nifheim
My mom is wearing black, the bm are wearing black, the all men in the wedding party are wearing all black (black shirts) so for me no black is not a problem. I personally think its flattering for most body types.
If it would really bother you about the color then inform her nicely that you would like her to have a nice lovely color such as , etc. etc.
i fricken love black shirts - black ties too? i want to do that!
FH says he wants to do it too but only if HE gets to also wear all black so I hope it looks good
nifheim
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Re: FMIL- Wants to wear black.... Opinions
I am doing green ties i think the color will just pop against the all black. I do like the black tie idea we may do that this way we don't have to spend $16 a tie because I am not sure any tux place has the Dessy group ties.
ant n tilde
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Re: FMIL- Wants to wear black.... Opinions
Posted by nifheim
I am doing green ties i think the color will just pop against the all black. I do like the black tie idea we may do that this way we don't have to spend $16 a tie because I am not sure any tux place has the Dessy group ties.
nice!! my color is royal blue so i dont think that would go but i think the green will look great!
gettinghizitched
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Re: FMIL- Wants to wear black.... Opinions
Well my mom is thinking about getting a black dress and i love the idea. My BMs are going to be in black and pink so she will match. I wanted both mothers to match but FMIL has her heart set on navy blue and my mom said that she wore a navy blue dress to my brothers wedding. As long as she doesn't wear white.
kkss1419
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Re: FMIL- Wants to wear black.... Opinions
My aunt wore black to her son's wedding. She added a red wrap to give it some color and she looked great! She plans on wearing a dark color at our wedding as well (my mother isn't around, she's like my mother & had filled in for her). Maybe you can ask her to add some color w/ accessories?
bemyyoko
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Re: FMIL- Wants to wear black.... Opinions
i'm pretty sure my FMIL is going to wear a black pant suit. whatever floats her boat ya know?
nmagel
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Re: FMIL- Wants to wear black.... Opinions
My BM's are wearing black w/ champagne sashes. I think the black will be fine.
mrspalomino148
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Re: FMIL- Wants to wear black.... Opinions
I had the same thing going on with my FMIL, she had sent me an email saying she was wearing black a while back, and I kind of stated as nice as I could, that she is supposed to wait for my mother to decide her color dress and dress accordingly from there, and then I cracked a joke that she only wants to wear black because she doesn't approve .. Apparently my joke didn't get through though, because she still is wearing black haha.. so I gave up, I figure my mom will stand out and his mom won't sooo oh well to her lol
Future Mulligan
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Re: FMIL- Wants to wear black.... Opinions
i dont know what anyone will be wearing but i do know that FMIL will most likely be more dressed than my Mom.....and its not FMIL's fault - its just that my Mom won't spend $1,500 on a dress that she is only going to wear once - she'll just buy something from Macys
