Roman Wedding Theme - Ideas and Questions

I was a history major in college and love Ancient Rome. I am trying to put together a Roman wedding but running into a number of problems.

On the positive side, I found a dress maker who is making an absolutely stunning white toga dress for me that looks amazing. She is also putting together pink togas for the bridesmaids and black and white togas for the groomsmen.

The problem I am running into is with my bridesmaids. I am having 8 friends in the wedding and they keep complaining about the theme. I have asked each of them to serve as servers during the reception and throughout the night to keep with the theme. This was primarily due to a lack of funds. I am not asking for a present but just to have them do this. My MOH has agreed to be my personal server through the evening and we have evening joked about having her feed me grapes and rub my feet.

The other 7 girls have complained about working at the wedding. The other issue is footwear. I decided to have them go barefoot for the wedding and reception which is common among Roman maids. They are not too keen on the idea so I offered a compromise of letting them wear nude hose.

I know I am asking a lot and I am probably a bridezilla, but this is my dream. is this reasonable? Also do you have any other ideas I could incorporate into the theme.

Hmm well personally I think you are asking a bit much...It IS your day but these are still girls who have to pay for dress, hair, makeup, etc and then you're making some steep demands.... Honestly, they pobably would have served you hand and foot ANYWAY just as my girls did this weekend without being asked, but to have a DEMAND made on you... eh I think you need to find a better way to handle that. I mean as harsh as this sounds, if you are short of funds, then YOU and the FH need to come up with a game plan and make sacrifices if need be, not demand that everyone else become a slave. JMO because FH and I had to give up alot of our dreams for the wedding and just created new ones.

As far as the barefoot goes, really, that is not at all hyenic. I am sure they could compromise with cute flat 'gladirator' type sandals or metallic flip flips as long as they are not platform. I wouldnt go barefoot in a hall and I walk barefoot in my home all the time. Just not safe healthwise.

As far as theme ideas throughout, here are a few. I found on a site I searched for you...

Wedding Colors: As you probably know, the Romans were fond of purples, reds, gold, and white.
Bride:
Carry a bouquet of Lilies, Orchids, a single Italian Crocus or herbs (the herbs were believed to ward off evil spirits).

Groom:
The groom should wear a floor-length tunic or toga, trimmed in gold, purple or red. Add Roman sandals or leather boots for footwear and a laurel wreath for a headpiece. You could also add a Paludementum cape - a floor-length cape cut in a half-circle and richly decorated.


Bridesmaids:
Dress is very similar to the bride's. Floor length, white tunic with no trim. Braided cord sash wrapped at waist (you may want to also do the criss-cross over the bodice). Ankle-strapped sandals and a dried flower wreath headpiece.


Groomsmen:
Knee length tunics with short sleeves. Add a sleeveless over-tunic in a leather-like material and a short cotton cape. Calf-high leather boots or sandals and Roman style helmets to complete their outfits.

Wedding Invitations

Color photocopy a world map focused on Italy and make your own invitations using the map copy. OR Cut your invitation into the shape of Italy. OR Use postcards of Rome instead of regular invitations.


Print your invitations on parchment-like paper and roll into a scroll. Seal with wax. Mail these invitations in small round tubes so they don't get crushed.


Wedding Decorations

Tall Roman columns which you could rent if possible, or create yourself from large cardboard tubes (try checking carpet stores or local hardware stores). Wrap ivy down the columns and place urns with flowers on top. OR Drape garlands of ivy or myrtle in front of tables, across doorways, etc. OR Use large pottery urns and bowls for serving food and drinks.


Other items that Romans often used were sundials, bird baths, reflecting pools, marble garden benches, large pillows and comfortable reclining couches.


Table Decor and Centerpieces

Cover tables in white linens and drape a decorative cloth over the top gold lame.

Large bowls of fruit make perfect centerpieces: apples, pears, grapes, etc.

Another centerpiece idea would be to use gold-colored birdcages with a pair of love-birds inside. (Stuffed, craft birds, not real ones).

Use tall pottery vases filled with wheat stalks as centerpieces.

Scatter rose petals around the center of the tables.


Wedding Favors

Give small bottles of Caesar salad dressing with personal labels attached.

Present your guests with embroidered table napkins. It was the custom for wedding guests to bring their own cloth napkins to weddings and other large events. Once the event was finished, guests would fill their napkins to take home any leftover food. You could add a small card that explains this custom.


Bottles of red or white wine with personalized labels.


Small glass urn-like bottles filled with bath oils or flavored vinegars.


Wedding Menu

Roasted pig, chicken, caesar salad, honey fruitcakes, grapes, olives, cheese, bread, dates. You can find some interesting recipes at: Antique Roman Dishes - Collection

Entertainment


Jugglers, magicians, acrobats, poets and minstrels.


For music, the most popular instrument was the lyre. Other instruments used were the lute, organ, kithara (a type of guitar), flutes, tympani (tambourine), trumpets, panpipes, harp and drums.


You could also hire a masseuse to give short foot and shoulder rubs to your guests.


The Romans also like to play many board games and ball related games. You can read more about the variety of games played at Roman Board Games and Roman Ball Games

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Posted by cookieling

Awww, Jen,, you always have such great ideas!

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Heh I just research well. Keeps me ocupied now that I am DONE!

PeteysBride, your post was freaking awesome.

To the OP: I agree that asking your BMs to be waitresses and to walk around barefoot is too much. It does seem unreasonable to ask them not only to perform traditional bridesmaids duties, but also actually work at your wedding and do it barefoot. PeteysBride had a ton of great ideas about how to incorporate your theme into your wedding. But her best advice was to create new dreams. GL.

I'm confused...will they be servers to you or the guest...as in serving them food? IMHO, I think that's way too much to ask of them. these are supposed to be your dearest friends, I don't think it's fair to ask them to work, like seriously work!, the day of your wedding.
I think you can have elements of your theme, but that's taking it to an extreme.

You could have the bridal party wear modern dance sandals that you can get at any dance wear shoppe. That fit the roman wedding theme perfectly.

FM me if you need any other info.

~dancer~
charlotte

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Posted by dancerandchef

You could have the bridal party wear modern dance sandals that you can get at any dance wear shoppe. That fit the roman wedding theme perfectly.

FM me if you need any other info.

~dancer~
charlotte

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this is a perfect idea.... also, i think it would be cute to have plates of grapes on each table!!!

Hey history buff! I'm one too. Look I love your idea and your theme is WONDERFUL. But asking your girls to serve you is asking a bit much. You see, even though that was the traditional Roman wedding, often times the BM's were slaves. Hence why the served drinks and food at the wedding. Even today the BM's often help dress the bride. Few know that, this was the tradition taken from slavery. What I would suggest is, hire a wait staff willing to dress in your theme. I know of one who was willing to have the servers dress in medieval garb, so I'm sure the togos will be no problem. I'll try to look them up for you if you like. Drop me a line and I'll let you know. But its sounds like a great wedding!!!
I hope to see pics!

here's a photo of my centerpiece...i saved a lot going minimal and just have the vine of pine & berries up the stem of the candelabra....i think it would look FABULOUS (and totally ancient rome) if u had a grape vine wrapping the stem up to the top i had a lot of gold incorporated in my wedding...i'll post a pic of my cake too - just tryin' u give u some visual ideas!

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Posted by EmberLynn

Hey history buff! I'm one too. Look I love your idea and your theme is WONDERFUL. But asking your girls to serve you is asking a bit much. You see, even though that was the traditional Roman wedding, often times the BM's were slaves. Hence why the served drinks and food at the wedding. Even today the BM's often help dress the bride. Few know that, this was the tradition taken from slavery. What I would suggest is, hire a wait staff willing to dress in your theme. I know of one who was willing to have the servers dress in medieval garb, so I'm sure the togos will be no problem. I'll try to look them up for you if you like. Drop me a line and I'll let you know. But its sounds like a great wedding!!!
I hope to see pics!

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I completely totally agree....i have to be honest - asking your BM's to serve u all night is a bit much...even ur MOH(whether she thinks it's funny or not). i think hiring a staff would be MUCH better, and your guests would love it & be able to laugh more then feeling sorry for ur bridal party lol.(jmo!)....and besides, if the staff u hire are professionals, it'll be way more worth your while & totally dazzle up your theme 100%.......btw - just thought of another fabulous idea....for your entrance, you should come in on one of those things that the men lift up that u sit on top of...i have no idea what it's called - but it would be fabulous!!!(ie: another great thing for hired staff to do!....or even the groomsmen lol)

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Posted by jtgarsik



I completely totally agree....i have to be honest - asking your BM's to serve u all night is a bit much...even ur MOH(whether she thinks it's funny or not). i think hiring a staff would be MUCH better, and your guests would love it & be able to laugh more then feeling sorry for ur bridal party lol.(jmo!)....and besides, if the staff u hire are professionals, it'll be way more worth your while & totally dazzle up your theme 100%.......btw - just thought of another fabulous idea....for your entrance, you should come in on one of those things that the men lift up that u sit on top of...i have no idea what it's called - but it would be fabulous!!!(ie: another great thing for hired staff to do!....or even the groomsmen lol)

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Its called a liter. That is a great idea. Also red was a very common color for roman brides. The red stood for virginity. Symbolizing virgin blood. Kinda like white for pure souls. What would be really cool for her cake topper would be a small mini busts of herself and her FH.
My dear husband wanted to have a Roman style wedding, but I told him no after he mentioned he wanted to wear roman gold plated armor with the mohawk helmet.

Posted By: Emberlynn

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My dear husband wanted to have a Roman style wedding, but I told him no after he mentioned he wanted to wear roman gold plated armor with the mohawk helmet.

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I appreciate all of these ideas. I was thinking of limited the size of the wedding so that my bms and gms would only be serving my future husband and I and a few guests. Everyone would come in costume. Do you have ideas for how we could make this more realistic and fun. I love the litter idea.

Claire

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Posted by clairealton

I appreciate all of these ideas. I was thinking of limited the size of the wedding so that my bms and gms would only be serving my future husband and I and a few guests. Everyone would come in costume. Do you have ideas for how we could make this more realistic and fun. I love the litter idea.

Claire

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Asking your bms and gms to serve ANYONE is just out of line, and way beyond the call of duty.

That's what waiters are for. Find waiters who will dress in costume.