Last night's meeting with the FILs went terribly.
A little background as to what this is about can be found here.
FH called his parents in the late morning to see if they'd be available to meet with us about the guest list. They said yes. He said we'd be there around 7:30-8:00.
Tell me...why did FH's brother call him at 4:30 in the afternoon and say to him 'hey, mom wants to know if you're really coming by tonight, because she wants to go shopping at Macy's.'
Really?
So in a nutshell - because this can be very, very long...this is what happened last night.
FH and I get there at about ten after eight. His mom asks if we want dinner, we say no, we're not hungry. We break out the lists. She again tells us we should eat. We tell her maybe after we've made some good progress with the lists.
She then claims she doesn't know the date that we're getting married.
She came up with a list of people, some of which were also on FH's list. She thinks it's too many and wants to know if 'we can leave the older people in a side room'. The max in our room is 230. The lists combined came up to about 250. Perfect number, because there were some people that we knew FOR SURE wouldn't make it.
She then says she wants to do the second reception. I tell her if that's what she wants to do, then she needs to book a place for Fri., 6/25, Sat. 6/26 or Sun. 6/27 as my parents will still be in town and we want them there. She says that she doesn't know if she can find a place by then.
She kept telling FH to take this one aunt off the list (for the wedding he and I are planning), then said to put her on, then take her off.
At this point, I couldn't take it anymore. I said to her 'You are really testing my patience. We've waited since the summer for this list.' I turned to FH and said 'Do you want these people (meaning the aunt and her family that kept getting put on and off the list at our wedding?' He said yes. I said that I do too, and that's all that matters, and that we will be inviting them.
She then started screaming at me 'this is your wedding, you do what you want!' I said 'you're right, it is our wedding, and we've give you months for this list. At this point we will invite only those that we want there.' I stood up and put my shoes on and said to FH 'let's go; she's being vile and it's bad for us to be around this environment right now'
She then switched from English to Bengali and tld FH that he will never be happy, that he is a failure, that she does not support us, and that she lied about her trip to Bangladesh...it was not to get me bridal stuff, but rather she was able to tag along on FFIL's business trip and if she happened to see things, she'd get them but her intention was not to go there with that as her main goal. She also said she will not be at the wedding and would tell people not to attend it.
I wish I understood Bengali, because I would've told her where to stick it. We left right after this and FH filled me in when we were in the car.
As we were leaving, she tried to talk to me and I said to her 'don't bother. This has been a real delight' and left.
Okay so that really wasn't a nutshell...thanks for reading if you got this far. I swear, you can't make this stuff up.
FH and I are going along as planned, inviting who we want to invite. If they choose not to attend because of his mother, then shame on them.
Thing is, no one ever says no to this woman. As soon as I open my mouth and tell her she's testing my patience and take full control of the situation, she flips. Because NO ONE has ever done that to her before. Take, for example, his bother making that phone call to FH. He didn't want to do that. He thought it was crazy. But instead of saying no, he did it. I don't roll like that. There's not enough time in my life for bullsh!t.
ETA: She also said that she didn't know that a minimum of 165 and max of 230 meant that you could have any headcount between the two figures. Can someone be that fcuking stupid?
FH called his parents in the late morning to see if they'd be available to meet with us about the guest list. They said yes. He said we'd be there around 7:30-8:00.
Tell me...why did FH's brother call him at 4:30 in the afternoon and say to him 'hey, mom wants to know if you're really coming by tonight, because she wants to go shopping at Macy's.'
Really?
So in a nutshell - because this can be very, very long...this is what happened last night.
FH and I get there at about ten after eight. His mom asks if we want dinner, we say no, we're not hungry. We break out the lists. She again tells us we should eat. We tell her maybe after we've made some good progress with the lists.
She then claims she doesn't know the date that we're getting married.
She came up with a list of people, some of which were also on FH's list. She thinks it's too many and wants to know if 'we can leave the older people in a side room'. The max in our room is 230. The lists combined came up to about 250. Perfect number, because there were some people that we knew FOR SURE wouldn't make it.
She then says she wants to do the second reception. I tell her if that's what she wants to do, then she needs to book a place for Fri., 6/25, Sat. 6/26 or Sun. 6/27 as my parents will still be in town and we want them there. She says that she doesn't know if she can find a place by then.
She kept telling FH to take this one aunt off the list (for the wedding he and I are planning), then said to put her on, then take her off.
At this point, I couldn't take it anymore. I said to her 'You are really testing my patience. We've waited since the summer for this list.' I turned to FH and said 'Do you want these people (meaning the aunt and her family that kept getting put on and off the list at our wedding?' He said yes. I said that I do too, and that's all that matters, and that we will be inviting them.
She then started screaming at me 'this is your wedding, you do what you want!' I said 'you're right, it is our wedding, and we've give you months for this list. At this point we will invite only those that we want there.' I stood up and put my shoes on and said to FH 'let's go; she's being vile and it's bad for us to be around this environment right now'
She then switched from English to Bengali and tld FH that he will never be happy, that he is a failure, that she does not support us, and that she lied about her trip to Bangladesh...it was not to get me bridal stuff, but rather she was able to tag along on FFIL's business trip and if she happened to see things, she'd get them but her intention was not to go there with that as her main goal. She also said she will not be at the wedding and would tell people not to attend it.
I wish I understood Bengali, because I would've told her where to stick it. We left right after this and FH filled me in when we were in the car.
As we were leaving, she tried to talk to me and I said to her 'don't bother. This has been a real delight' and left.
Okay so that really wasn't a nutshell...thanks for reading if you got this far. I swear, you can't make this stuff up.
FH and I are going along as planned, inviting who we want to invite. If they choose not to attend because of his mother, then shame on them.
Thing is, no one ever says no to this woman. As soon as I open my mouth and tell her she's testing my patience and take full control of the situation, she flips. Because NO ONE has ever done that to her before. Take, for example, his bother making that phone call to FH. He didn't want to do that. He thought it was crazy. But instead of saying no, he did it. I don't roll like that. There's not enough time in my life for bullsh!t.
ETA: She also said that she didn't know that a minimum of 165 and max of 230 meant that you could have any headcount between the two figures. Can someone be that fcuking stupid?
