1/8/2003 QOTD How do you and hubby resolve issues???
shamma
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1/8/2003 QOTD How do you and hubby resolve issues???
Some of us have been living with our husbands before marriage, some of us just moved in, whatever the situation, how do you handle conflicts??
stacedz
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Re: 1/8/2003 QOTD How do you and hubby resolve issues???
Punching matches...just kidding!
NovemberSue
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Re: 1/8/2003 QOTD How do you and hubby resolve issues???
Someone has to give in or we have to compromise. Its never a problem.We're both pretty easy going.
dkga1026
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Re: 1/8/2003 QOTD How do you and hubby resolve issues???
it depends....sometimes we discuss calmly and rationally....othertimes things get emotional i think it depends on the issue...most of the time, regardless of HOW we get there, we end up compromising...
chmlengr
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Re: 1/8/2003 QOTD How do you and hubby resolve issues???
I’d love to say we don’t have conflicts, but I’d be a big fat liar if I said that. I would have to say it really depends on the conflict – if we are arguing over him leaving the toilet seat up or not replacing the toilet paper when he uses it all up, I’d say that’s a gentle reminder until it gets done. I used to go ahead and do it for him, but I don’t want him to get in the habit that he can be lazy and I’ll just pick up his slack. For example, picking up his shirts at the dry cleaner. All of a sudden he has none to wear to work, and asks me when I’ll be able to get them. So I remind him that the shirts are his, I brought them there, the least he can do is pick them up. He’ll pick them up later today.
As for large conflicts that may involve complex issues like sex, the house or money, we usually spend a great deal of time talking it out. We pay careful attention to each other and compromise. Some times you win some, some times you lose some. But we’re always in it together.
Latina511
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Re: 1/8/2003 QOTD How do you and hubby resolve issues???
We usually try to discuss it and compromise. Usually somebody has to give up though.
shamma
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Re: 1/8/2003 QOTD How do you and hubby resolve issues???
I don't know if its the only child thing in me, but arguing I can never do. Sometimes I get so upset I cry then I can't get out what I am feeling or what I really want to say and it is so frustrating. We will step away from the situation. Sometimes I write it down and then we discuss it. Hubby cannot handle stress and neither can I. We both agree on one thing, we hate stress and we do not want it in our lives. He is a calm person and I am the outspoken one. If I have to keep repeating myself about something, I start leaving hints or something, but eventually we get to the bottom of things.
We had some serious issues to deal with when we first started going out, but they eventually worked out after we both had our say.
Sonicstef
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Re: 1/8/2003 QOTD How do you and hubby resolve issues???
We scream and yell...and then make up. Its actually very theraputic. But of course there are certain issues that really never get resolved and we deal with agreeing to disagree. We both are really bad at just giving in so thats the only way it works.
For those that dont fight - you are either both saints or you havent been together long enough :D
natasha
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Re: 1/8/2003 QOTD How do you and hubby resolve issues???
Communication is the key, we would talk about the issue and come to a compromise. Sometimes that gets emotional, but we try to maintain a respect for each other when we are emotional; thus cursing and calling each other mean and nasty names are not allowed.
shamma
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Re: 1/8/2003 QOTD How do you and hubby resolve issues???
Stef, I dobt that highly, the saint part at least. Hubby and I have our days but its not a ho down throw down at all. I could never be with someone that disrespected me if we have an argument. We should be able to disagree without disrespecting each other.
Stef I feel you on the agree to disagree, hubby says I hate to be wrong hello, show me someone that does
jenny11.9
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Re: 1/8/2003 QOTD How do you and hubby resolve issues???
we SCREAM constantly. This is heightened because we work together EVERY DAY , and have lived together for 9 years - together for 10. What we find usually happens is that we get into arguments in the car. Does that happen to anybody else? I think we both know we are trapped in there, and we can't help but push the buttons. We both do it and it gets ugly, but extremely therapeutic. Usually when we reach our driveway one of us starts to laugh, and we might push each other around in the driveway. (gently of course! although I push kind of hard sometimes!). If it makes it into the house, we separate immediately and scream from different rooms. These arguments are mostly work/money/stress that is all related to our company, which I think are probably a little different issues than other couples might have.
As a result, we don't have much else to argue over. Everything else kind of pales in comparison!
natasha
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Re: 1/8/2003 QOTD How do you and hubby resolve issues???
Well said shamma -- disagreeing with out disrespecting each other.
Sonicstef
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Re: 1/8/2003 QOTD How do you and hubby resolve issues???
Shamma: Luke is anything but disrepectful. Even when we are yelling, its only because we are upset. We never call each other names or are nasty...we are just 'discussing loudly' if you know what I mean.
Latina511
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Re: 1/8/2003 QOTD How do you and hubby resolve issues???
My hubby tells me that I am stubborn and spoiled. We use to scream and fight alot before the wedding and then after we agreed to try to talk things out instead of yelling. Its working fine...atleast for now.
Either way I usually get my way
NIHA
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Re: 1/8/2003 QOTD How do you and hubby resolve issues???
It depends on the situation and our moods at that time. I haven't been screaming and yelling lately, I think I just break down and cry when I get so frustrated (I don't want the baby to hear the screaming and feel my anger too much!). DH doesn't raise his voice unless I push his buttons (which I tend to do often), and then he gets loud, but it just makes me laugh. One healthy thing we do is that we even if we don't come to agreement or understanding about something, we try to make up or make peace before going to bed.
ss2002
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Re: 1/8/2003 QOTD How do you and hubby resolve issues???
DH and I have learned that there are some things we will just never agree on...and that we need to accept each other's opinions/feelings.
On issues where we have to come to some sort of compromise, we usually argue it out and figure it out. Each situation we come across is different.
We realized early in our relationship that we are good argue-ers. Never nasty, never condescending...just healthy, hearty, lively discussions. Our rules are that we will never leave the apartment in the heat of a disagreement, one will never close the door on the other, and we will never go to sleep angry or without kissing goodnight. So far, so good...
natasha
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Re: 1/8/2003 QOTD How do you and hubby resolve issues???
I think we all have a few of the 'discussing loudly discussion.' Sometimes, you need to do that to get your point across.
jenny11.9
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Re: 1/8/2003 QOTD How do you and hubby resolve issues???
well CLEARLY you have to discuss loudly....my husband doesn't SEEM TO HEAR ME SOMETIMES......!!!!!
shamma
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Re: 1/8/2003 QOTD How do you and hubby resolve issues???
See no one taught me how to do it, but my how one learns quickly, especially when you think you are not being heard
Stef I get you 100%
shamma
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Re: 1/8/2003 QOTD How do you and hubby resolve issues???
The car is a bad, bad place indeed, especially when hubby takes his eyes off the road or tries to hog the radio
We have agreed that we will not go to bed angry or part in anger, I hate that.
