A vent for concern for a friend.

I changed my identity so that they will not know I am posting about them in case they are a lurker to these boards. I have a friend who is dating someone she is forever fighting with.She is now engaged and planning a wedding. These two fight all the time and she is always crying.She doesn't tell anyone its over him but her friends know.
We are very sad when we see her this way but there's not much we can say or do because she thinks he is wonderful and loves him. That is not the way relationships are supposed to be (yelling at each other and fighting every couple of days.)
Sorry,I just needed to vent.

Please check your FM

I cannot talk to her because she will HATE me if I tell her anything negative about this guy.
She deserves so much more. He is always making her cry.He gets angry over every stupid thing.
He got angry with her because he called her and she wasn't home yet.

Been there, done that. I used to be in an awful relationship and it drove my friends/family nuts. In all honestly, I was the ONLY person who could make the decision that I deserved better.
Editted to say: My X was always mad at me, no matter what I said or did it was not good enough or the 'right' thing. He would call me and if I didn't answer he would flip out. We fought, or should I say he fought with me ALL the time and I couldn't say a word that calmed him down. It was very abusive. So I KNOW what it feels like to be your friend.
My friends stood by me during the relationship and sometimes said things like 'Michele, you deserve someone who doesn't treat you like this'. But once my sister came out and told me that she didn't like my relationship with jerk anymore and wanted me to kick him to the curb. It didn't help me at all. It just made me feel worse and feel like I had to defend why I was staying- of course, I thought I loved him. In time, I was able to face the World without him and you know what, the day we finally broke-up and I told him to never call me again, I felt soooo good. But it was because I made the decision and I knew it was the right thing to do.

Support your friend, love your friend. If she asks tell her that you cannot tell her what to do , but if it were you you would consider NOT marrying this man. Your friend doesn't know it yet, but there is true happiness waiting for her.

I have learned over time, the only person who can change you is YOU..

She will wake up someday and if she doesn't and decides this is what she wants..

Be there for her.. and just keep your comments to yourself...

The only thing you can do is be there for your friend. SHE is the only one who has to figure out if THIS is the RELATIONSHIP SHE WANTS.
Nobody can tell her anything else because she will only hear what she wants to hear.

That is a hard situation I understand that you want to say something to her. But
1) if you tell her you run the risk of completely alienating her. If she is marrying this guy I'm sure she thinks she is in love with him. You might get her to see your point of view but this is very doubtful. She will most likely be resentful of your comments and feel you are not being supportive or worse that you are jealous or trying to ruin her day.
2) She will most likely NOT change her mind because you tell her your opinion.

The best thing you can do it IMO - be there for her - support her - and maybe try to get her to talk about why she wants to marry this guy and JUST BE there for her if it doesn't work out.

I know that is probably not what you want to hear - but I think brides tend to be very sensative and you don't sound like you want to lose your friendship with her only to help her get out of a bad relationship