Advice

Ok so I wasn't sure where to post this but thought I could get some good advice from you ladies. I'm a regular poster but I don't want any 'stalkers' to see my post.

What would you do if you knew that someone you were VERY close to was making the biggest mistake of their life. Someone in my circle of friends is getting married and the reason is not out of love. He's marrying her because he feels it's the right thing to do. Not one person I know thinks they should get married and that includes his family! EVERY one of his friends thinks he's crazy for marrying this girl. She is a horrible person and plays the victim every chance she gets...so he always feels bad for her. He's misserable with her and it's written all over his face.
Have you ever known anyone like this? Did you try and help them? I'm just affriad this person doesn't realize that no one will be angry with him if he decides not to go ahead with this. I think he feels like they are in too deep with the wedding fast approching.
It's just so sad and we all feel so bad for him. Although I guess you can say he's doing this to himself.

Please don't quote

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Posted by Mimacat

When it comes to relationships, I always mind my business. You never really know what goes on between 2 people. I'd stay out of it.

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I agree. Your friend needs to handle this situation how he feels is appropriate. One day he might see what you and everyone else does then again he might not.

Just be there for him as a good friend and keep your opinions/feelings quiet even if he asks you.

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Posted by kirstenjk

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Posted by Mimacat

When it comes to relationships, I always mind my business. You never really know what goes on between 2 people. I'd stay out of it.

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I agree. Your friend needs to handle this situation how he feels is appropriate. One day he might see what you and everyone else does then again he might not.

Just be there for him as a good friend and keep your opinions/feelings quiet even if he asks you.

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ITA with these ladies

It's very hard to watch someone you care about make a mistake and worse, you usually can't say anything to him/her about it. I know bec someone close to me made a mistake like that and she is (still) not happy- she made a decision and has stuck by it no matter what for now...but I agree with the ladies above. There isn't much you can say and he already made his decision...all you can do is be his friend and support him in his decision right now.

You can tell him till he's blue in the face that its a mistake, but he needs to realize that for himself.

When is the wedding?

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Posted by Mimacat

When it comes to relationships, I always mind my business. You never really know what goes on between 2 people. I'd stay out of it.

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Ditto...
It would only come back to bite you in the butt...

I agree with what most of the girls said to stay out of it. If this is someone that is very close and I mean close to you like family I would tell him what you feel and also let him know that no matter what he decides you will be there to suport him. If this is something that you have already spoken to him about then there is nothing left to do but support him no matter what your feelings are on the issue.

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Posted by kirstenjk

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Posted by Mimacat

When it comes to relationships, I always mind my business. You never really know what goes on between 2 people. I'd stay out of it.

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I agree. Your friend needs to handle this situation how he feels is appropriate. One day he might see what you and everyone else does then again he might not.

Just be there for him as a good friend and keep your opinions/feelings quiet even if he asks you.

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Agreed...I would not say a word, it is not your place IMO

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Posted by Jenn04

You can tell him till he's blue in the face that its a mistake, but he needs to realize that for himself.

When is the wedding?

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Exactly! He's not going to see it, until he's ready to see it. Hopefully he'll realize it before the wedding.

it's very hard to watch someone u love make what u think could be a really REALLY big mistake.... however, my question is this: does HE openly say that HE feels this way??? or is this everyone's opinion? maybe he really loves her?

A few years ago two of my friends got married - one couple everyone thought was 'just so perfect' the other other we thought for sure was doomed from the start(myself included)... now wouldn't u know that years later, the 'perfect couple' are the ones having problems and the 'doomed' are the ones happy as ever with a great marraige??? u just never know..they'll soon learn what they're getting themselves into & hopefully growup together.

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Posted by Jenn04

You can tell him till he's blue in the face that its a mistake, but he needs to realize that for himself.

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ita.. this is something HE needs to feel deep inside his heart. and untill he does, what everyone else says just doesn't matter. it's unfortunate, but true. even if u have a huge intervention where u get EVERYONE together lol, and can pull it out of him - this is something he needs to discover on his own...and if & when he does, hopefully things will change for the better.

I think that if he were to do something about it before the wedding would be better than after. It is going to be hard no matter when, but now is better than the day of, or after they are hitched.

However, I would not say anything. I am just not good in those situations. I don't like anything with confrontation.