Advice Needed

MrsJ08 Posted: Oct 18, 2008 11:25 PM

Advice Needed

One of my closest friends (who was a BM) gave me a check that bounced. I confronted her about it because I was charged a fee and she was sorry and told me she would send me another check. Over a month later still nothing...DH wants me to say something again and there is no way i can. Even though we are really close I dont have the guts to say 'where is the $' sounds so self fish...has anyone been in this situation? Just need advice cuz DH is bugging me about it. I just want to forget about it.

TIA

lucky1010 Posted: Oct 19, 2008 12:09 AM

Re: Advice Needed

Did you get the bounced check in the mail? If so, ask them what they want you to do with it. We had the same thing happy at our engagement party. To make a long story short, I never got a new check, but she took me out to dinner instead...

GraceAndAdam Posted: Oct 19, 2008 09:27 AM

Re: Advice Needed

we had a similar situation with on of our GMs. We didn't get a check that bounced, but we got an 'I owe you' in our card from him and his wife. They were newlyweds too and we knew they were having financial problems, so even though we thought it was a little rude, we understood. We saw them a few times after the wedding over the course of several months, and still no gift from them. They finally did mail us a check 4 or 5 months after the wedding. If your friend's check bounced, then she is most likely having a hard time with money right now. I'm sure she's not blowing you off. She probably just needs time to get her finances in order.

lila Posted: Oct 19, 2008 10:13 AM

Re: Advice Needed

We got one bounced check... my mom ended up mentioning it to the person who felt really bad, and told us to redeposit it, and it went through.

You can try to redeposit it and see if it goes through....?

Belongs2DanBuckley Posted: Oct 19, 2008 11:44 AM

Re: Advice Needed

it took some of my friends almost 4 months to give us their wedding gift. I would definitely mention it or send back the check to them, but the fact is- it COST you money! I would mention that you ended u paying and just at least ask for them to cover the bounced check fee. Thats not unreasonable.

RadiantBride Posted: Oct 19, 2008 11:55 AM

Re: Advice Needed

I would not say anything. If I already mentioned it to her I would just keep my mouth shut. Maybe she just does not have it and I would never want to make someone feel uncomfortable bc of this. We have tons of people that 'forgot their cards' and said will give them to us that never did; and that is perfectly fine with us.

wundmoretime Posted: Oct 19, 2008 02:20 PM

Re: Advice Needed

I would let it go. DH best friend and best man put a note in our card saying that he would get us of gift, almost a month later and nothing. we decided to let it go. It is rude.

BoxOfRocks Posted: Oct 20, 2008 12:19 AM

Re: Advice Needed

Let it go. Obviously she was in a tight situation (or mismanaged her account) the first time around. Following up to get reimbursement and a reissuing of the gift when she either is low on funds or can't get organized? A waste of your time at best and rude at worst.

Aug07OFCbride Posted: Oct 20, 2008 01:55 AM

Re: Advice Needed

Posted by RadiantBride

I would not say anything. If I already mentioned it to her I would just keep my mouth shut. Maybe she just does not have it and I would never want to make someone feel uncomfortable bc of this.

Ditto. I just couldnt mention it again.

jtgarsik Posted: Oct 20, 2008 08:29 AM

Re: Advice Needed

Posted by GraceAndAdam

we had a similar situation with on of our GMs. We didn't get a check that bounced, but we got an 'I owe you' in our card from him and his wife. They were newlyweds too and we knew they were having financial problems, so even though we thought it was a little rude, we understood. We saw them a few times after the wedding over the course of several months, and still no gift from them. They finally did mail us a check 4 or 5 months after the wedding. If your friend's check bounced, then she is most likely having a hard time with money right now. I'm sure she's not blowing you off. She probably just needs time to get her finances in order.

i agree with this & some of the previous posters. Finances are probably just tight right now (who's isn't right? )..try to talk to the hubster about it & make him understand. while a little tacky, it's not THAT huge of a deal...and if she just simply doesn't have it to give, it'll definetly make her feel uncomfortable & upset. hopefully when she gets the money together she'll come around, and if not, she has to live with that...not u. sorry ur dealing with it though...totally stinks that she's a good friend.

EmberLynn Posted: Oct 20, 2008 08:41 AM

Re: Advice Needed

I would nicely ask if she could just cover the fee. In this finial crisis, a lot of people are short on $$$. You might want to find out if she is having problems and may need either time to pay you back or the forgiveness of a understanding friend. Even though gas prices are down, (and $3 a gallon is still insane!) she may be in over her head. I know my DH and I are feeling the crunch.

08JulyBride Posted: Oct 20, 2008 11:40 AM

Re: Advice Needed

It's not your fault the check bounced but I'd still let it go, and I'd personally eat the fee. They're clearly having financial issues and it's not worth losing a friend over.

lillprincess54 Posted: Oct 20, 2008 11:43 AM

Re: Advice Needed

Posted by 08JulyBride

It's not your fault the check bounced but I'd still let it go, and I'd personally eat the fee. They're clearly having financial issues and it's not worth losing a friend over.

ITA