My best friend who I thought found her soul mate is now moving out of their apartment. Theyre breaking up over a dog. She agreed to let her man adopt a puppy and it was a little more than she could handle. He ended up giving it up and said some very harsh words (VERY HARSH) to her and told her to leave. I understand how hard a situation like this is. Giving up an animal is never easy but what was said is incomprehensible. Im helping her gather her stuff today. Now heres where it gets complicated. Her 30th birthday party is tomorrow and her man had set up a surprise party this saturday. People are flying in from FLA and everything. I was his right hand man setting this up and now I dont know what to do. Should I tell her? Should I keep the party going even though she is devastated?? Im stuck between a rock and a hard place right now.
Ayne11
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Personally I would keep it...She's going to need her friends and family around her this week.
Butterfly123
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Posted by Ayne11
Personally I would keep it...She's going to need her friends and family around her this week.
Should I tell her about it? What if she refuses to let me take her out??
Ayne11
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Posted by Songstress
Posted by Ayne11
Personally I would keep it...She's going to need her friends and family around her this week.
Should I tell her about it? What if she refuses to let me take her out??
Hmmm.... if you tell her about it will she not want to go??
Dani777
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I would keep it going... I also wouldn't tell her about it...only unless she refuses to go out. Then I would sit her down and say, look, I didn't want to tell ya this, buttt... She'll want to be around her friends and family that mean the most to her...
Butterfly123
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Posted by Ayne11
Posted by Songstress
Posted by Ayne11
Personally I would keep it...She's going to need her friends and family around her this week.
Should I tell her about it? What if she refuses to let me take her out??
Hmmm.... if you tell her about it will she not want to go??
I think she would because she knows some of her friends are coming in from Florida.
Butterfly123
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Posted by Dani777
I would keep it going... I also wouldn't tell her about it...only unless she refuses to go out. Then I would sit her down and say, look, I didn't want to tell ya this, buttt... She'll want to be around her friends and family that mean the most to her...
I think thats what Ill do. Ill tell her today that we want to hang out on saturday but I wont divulge too much info. If she decides she doesnt want to then I will let her know
Ayne11
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Posted by Songstress
Posted by Ayne11
Posted by Songstress
Posted by Ayne11
Personally I would keep it...She's going to need her friends and family around her this week.
Should I tell her about it? What if she refuses to let me take her out??
Hmmm.... if you tell her about it will she not want to go??
I think she would because she knows some of her friends are coming in from Florida.
Wow this is tough, if you feel the only way to get her to go is to tell her then I would. But I would make that your last resort. Or (thinking out loud here) would the shock of a surprise be too much for her. Sometimes surprise parties can be emotional.
Butterfly123
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Posted by Ayne11
Posted by Songstress
Posted by Ayne11
Wow this is tough, if you feel the only way to get her to go is to tell her then I would. But I would make that your last resort. Or (thinking out loud here) would the shock of a surprise be too much for her. Sometimes surprise parties can be emotional.
thats the other problem. I know if I was upset about something liek this I would BAWL at a surprise party. This is her 30th ya know? A MILESTONE and I want to make this as happy a time I can for her. But it feels impossible now.
Ayne11
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Posted by Songstress
Posted by Ayne11
Posted by Songstress
Posted by Ayne11
Wow this is tough, if you feel the only way to get her to go is to tell her then I would. But I would make that your last resort. Or (thinking out loud here) would the shock of a surprise be too much for her. Sometimes surprise parties can be emotional.
thats the other problem. I know if I was upset about something liek this I would BAWL at a surprise party. This is her 30th ya know? A MILESTONE and I want to make this as happy a time I can for her. But it feels impossible now.
I guess you should tell her - if the night makes her happy then you did a fantastic job. Will the Boyfriend be attending?
TrueLoveIn2008
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Lea, I would feel the way you do - that seeing everyone would make me sooooo much more upset, for a while. Can you ask some of her other friends, her family (sister, mom?) what they think?? How she might react??
Butterfly123
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Posted by TrueLoveIn2008
Lea, I would feel the way you do - that seeing everyone would make me sooooo much more upset, for a while. Can you ask some of her other friends, her family (sister, mom?) what they think?? How she might react??
Shes an only child and her mom doesnt know whats going on right now. She's the type that would never forgive this guy and if my friend decides to forgive him her mother would NOT. Ive asked some of our mutual friends and they really dont know. I also dont want to tell everyone yet because she told me in confidence about whats going on. Its one of those situations where I think she doesnt want everyone to know because she will feel judged by them if she forgives the guy. Although the more I talk to her the more I feel like there is no going back.
lizzie217
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Lea I would tell her...she is probably really upset right now and a surprise might not be the best thing for. This way she can prepare herslf, even look forward to it, plan what she will tell people in regards to their breakup etc.
for her
TrueLoveIn2008
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Posted by Songstress
Posted by TrueLoveIn2008
Lea, I would feel the way you do - that seeing everyone would make me sooooo much more upset, for a while. Can you ask some of her other friends, her family (sister, mom?) what they think?? How she might react??
Shes an only child and her mom doesnt know whats going on right now. She's the type that would never forgive this guy and if my friend decides to forgive him her mother would NOT. Ive asked some of our mutual friends and they really dont know. I also dont want to tell everyone yet because she told me in confidence about whats going on. Its one of those situations where I think she doesnt want everyone to know because she will feel judged by them if she forgives the guy. Although the more I talk to her the more I feel like there is no going back.
Ohhh that is so tough. Honestly, I would be inclined to tell her. I wouldn't be mad that no one told me if it were my party, but I would be embarrassed and upset that this milestone is happening and this horrible thing just happened -- you know? I would just want to know.
When I was away at school, I was very homesick. Seeing family when I was home - cousins, etc - made it worse because I was reminded of the fact that I would miss my parents when I went back. Not the same thing but similar I think int the emotions dept -- she's gonna see all these people and think, oh god, they do not know that I am not with so and so anymore and I'm gonna have to tell them or lie, and he is not here to share this party with me, etc. I would want to know so that I could mentally prepare myself.
You have a crappy decision to make! SO sorry I can't help you more!
Butterfly123
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I know what you mean. Im emailing the guy right now and telling him that he needs to tell me what to do like right now. He hasnt gotten back to me yet. Hes the one saying he 'CANT EVEN LOOK AT HER RIGHT NOW' so if he cant look at her or talk to her I need to figure out what to do.
Ayne11
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Posted by Songstress
I know what you mean. Im emailing the guy right now and telling him that he needs to tell me what to do like right now. He hasnt gotten back to me yet. Hes the one saying he 'CANT EVEN LOOK AT HER RIGHT NOW' so if he cant look at her or talk to her I need to figure out what to do.
I don't know if this is my place to ask but, why did he give up the dog if he's this upset??
Butterfly123
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Re: Advice please
Posted by Ayne11
Posted by Songstress
I know what you mean. Im emailing the guy right now and telling him that he needs to tell me what to do like right now. He hasnt gotten back to me yet. Hes the one saying he 'CANT EVEN LOOK AT HER RIGHT NOW' so if he cant look at her or talk to her I need to figure out what to do.
I don't know if this is my place to ask but, why did he give up the dog if he's this upset??
because of her. She was having a hard time adjusting to her. They had it for 8 days. My friend was never a dog person. I was shocked when I heard they got a dog. I think she did it for him in hopes that she would become accustomed to the dog. but in my eyes, if youre not born a dog person, then you wont be one. He lost his patience with her and drastically brought the dog back. Ever since he has been emailing her awful things and said he wants nothing to do with her and to pick up her stuff. Im taking her tonight to help her. Hes completely overreacting.
Kimbalina
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I would tell her. I honestly think she would be better off knowing. I think she would still want to attend.
Ayne11
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Re: Advice please
Posted by Songstress
Posted by Ayne11
Posted by Songstress
I know what you mean. Im emailing the guy right now and telling him that he needs to tell me what to do like right now. He hasnt gotten back to me yet. Hes the one saying he 'CANT EVEN LOOK AT HER RIGHT NOW' so if he cant look at her or talk to her I need to figure out what to do.
I don't know if this is my place to ask but, why did he give up the dog if he's this upset??
because of her. She was having a hard time adjusting to her. They had it for 8 days. My friend was never a dog person. I was shocked when I heard they got a dog. I think she did it for him in hopes that she would become accustomed to the dog. but in my eyes, if youre not born a dog person, then you wont be one. He lost his patience with her and drastically brought the dog back. Ever since he has been emailing her awful things and said he wants nothing to do with her and to pick up her stuff. Im taking her tonight to help her. Hes completely overreacting.
YIKES!!!! No sh!t he's overreacting. to your friend.
