For a girlfriend of mine, I am going to cut and paste from her email and just name the guy X she told me I could b/c I just got off the phone w/ her crying again!! and I told her I would send a link of this to her. It seems she thinks no one really can help her so I thought if she got genuine replies it might somehow aid her in her thinking....... and where she had her husbands name I took it out and just said 'my husband'
here is some background information: She has been married for a year and five months now, they do not have children yet and were planning on waiting for their second anniversary to save money......... her DH often puts her down and makes her cry but is a good guy/honest guy in general. Right now she is having various issues w/ him concerning money, and when to TTC. She has told me numerous times she loves her Dh but doesn't like many things he says/does....
ok..... here is what her problem is from part of her email.......
As you know I have known X since I am 16 and for the past seven or eight years he has been my best friend. You also know that while we never were 'together' in that sense we did kiss or fool around a few times and you know how much I used to like him. Lately, I have been having many doubts about staying married for many different reasons. What I find to be ironic and these can all be coincidences or I do not know if they are 'SIGNS' to help me in deciding whether to stay and try to work things out even thuogh I am not happy or to leave the house whether temporary or permanently. Lately X keeps popping up, for example the other day, my husband of all people says how come this didnt go to the dry cleaners yet? I thought you were going to take it in yesterday! Can you please take it in today, I DID Not feel like going to the dry cleaners but did anyway...... I pull up in front and there are two cars w/ three guys just standing in front of the dry cleaners talking, who is the one in the middle of them........ Yep, you guessed it X, on a day where I am on the verge of tears why him of all people show up in my path? Kind of weird dont you think? we just talked for a few minutes and thats when he told me him and you know who are no longer together and that - that part of his life is over and done with it and I should please call him because we are friends.............. do you find it strange that he was there? why at that moment? two weeks later I just called to check in and say hi and he laughed and said oh its so funny you called me b/c I just came from ( I TOOK NAME OF STORE OUT )( in case someone she knows reads boards)....so he says he just came from there! another weird coincidence as I worked there for an eternity, why did I call then and all these things are just weird and I wonder if they are happening for a reason............ such as how stabile is my marriage and do I really need to be on my own or wind up eventually w/ X, so, what do you make of this?
Samanthas Mom
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Member since
UPDATED
well I called Kathy last night and she read both threads........ she said she is not looking for an out but did admit to me that she likes to talk to X as a friend but she does think of it working out w/him only in times of trouble and fights...... (I think Becky said that! she might be doing that)
She said that while she does get upset that they do need to communicate better and there is more good than bad in their marriage so she is willing to do whatever it takes whether go for counseling, etc.......
Her DH did not object to counseling either so I do not know if they are going to go or not but she was making more sense and did not cry yesterday the last time I spoke with her. She did say she was intrigued by the what nobody tells the bride book someone mentioned b/c she reads a lot. Do you know who authored it?
Thanks again!
Samanthas Mom
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Member since
Re: Advise needed please!(LONG)/UPDATED BELOW
Thanks Michele we must have been posting at the same time b/c I just saw your reply now. She doesnt know DH since she is sixteen. They were engaged after dating for about two years. She knows X since she is a teenager.
