Am I the only person who is totally shocked that certain people are not coming to my wedding? Did you get that feeling?

I can't believe certain family members, specifically a cousin of mine who was like a BROTHER isn't coming to the wedding for no reason other than he didn't plan ahead (he's out of state)...I sent out save the dates one year in advance, and he only started looking for air fare a week ago. It's too expensive so he's not coming.

I know the world doesn't revolve around my wedding, but I thought certain people would be there.,,,

A friend of 20 years isn't coming....she's also out of state, and told me that she didn't even look up airfare or ask for time off work for the wedding, she's just not coming.

Then there are other's who I'm shocked are coming, people I never expected...it's wonderful!

Re: Am I the only person who is totally shocked that certain people are not coming to my wedding? Did you get that feeling?

Yes people do shock U, A friend of Mine who I was a BM at her wedding told me she couldnt come either!! And she wasnt out of state..I was soooo hurt

Re: Am I the only person who is totally shocked that certain people are not coming to my wedding? Did you get that feeling?

Im so sorry. I know even when people that I was not THAT close with responded no, I was pretty upset. Some people are just so wrapped up into themselves its frustrating!

The only bright side is that hopefully you wont have any no shows. That is the ultimate slap in the face!

Re: Am I the only person who is totally shocked that certain people are not coming to my wedding? Did you get that feeling?

Sorry you are dissapointed!

I was also shocked when my Mom's very close cousin, her husband and their kids didn't come. They are out of state, but knew about the whole thing for a year before the wedding.

She said they didn't have any money, and went on European vacation 2 months later!

Re: Am I the only person who is totally shocked that certain people are not coming to my wedding? Did you get that feeling?

yes...but I am completely over it now

Re: Am I the only person who is totally shocked that certain people are not coming to my wedding? Did you get that feeling?

I think most of us had similar experiences. It truly hurts when people you thought were very close to you choose to skip one of the most important events in your life.
DH's perspective is: people generally put themselves, their priorities and their comfort ahead of others and WE are a team now and should focus on ourselves too and not let our missing guests effect our day.
My view is: people's schedules, priorities are never perfectly alligned. But if you value a friendship, it may take work, but it's important to do the right thing.

Try not to dwell on the missing guests and focus on the ones that are there, sharing in your day!

Re: Am I the only person who is totally shocked that certain people are not coming to my wedding? Did you get that feeling?

Yes, I had this.
About 20 people that I expected just did not come! I was shocked with I got the no's in the mail.

Re: Am I the only person who is totally shocked that certain people are not coming to my wedding? Did you get that feeling?

Maybe because it is 3 days after Christmas

I'm sorry that people you care about won't be there for your special day

Re: Am I the only person who is totally shocked that certain people are not coming to my wedding? Did you get that feeling?

A friend of mine that just got married this summer was just complaining the other night to me on the phone how three long time out of state friends didnt attend her wedding. I was the only long distance friend that made it. I had two friends that live out of state that I was friends with for over 20 years not only not come, but cancel the week of. I had to pay for their plates anyway. I think this does happen and we dont expect it. I really realized who really mattered in my life after the wedding.

Re: Am I the only person who is totally shocked that certain people are not coming to my wedding? Did you get that feeling?

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Posted by yabbobay

yes...but I am completely over it now

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Me 2

Re: Am I the only person who is totally shocked that certain people are not coming to my wedding? Did you get that feeling?

I understand how you feel- but don't spend too much of your energy on it, ya know? this is a positive time- don't think about the negative

(my paternal Grandparents didn't come to my wedding- said it was too far for them - 2 hours away- and we offered to get them a limo to pick them up, a hotel room, and a limo to take them home and they STILL said no- and no gift either and believe me, they aren't hurtin' for the $$$ either.).

Re: Am I the only person who is totally shocked that certain people are not coming to my wedding? Did you get that feeling?

When I first found out about these individuals I was really shocked and hurt, but now I'm just too excited about my wedding to really focus on them....I just can't wait to get married!

And besides, all in all, there are more people coming than I expected.

Re: Am I the only person who is totally shocked that certain people are not coming to my wedding? Did you get that feeling?

Yes, this happened to me as well, and I beat myself up trying to figure it out.

Some of the reasons were so absurd.

Now I am over it.

Re: Am I the only person who is totally shocked that certain people are not coming to my wedding? Did you get that feeling?

I had a few total shockers too. Two of them were people who were 'so excited' and 'couldn't wait' until the wedding.

I also had a few shockers the other way around where people who were definite nos in my mind ended up coming.

Re: Am I the only person who is totally shocked that certain people are not coming to my wedding? Did you get that feeling?

my isster and I were married 3 months a part...(me first) - so my dad's relatives in CT...don't like to cross the bridge to LI (they may have a total of 3 times in my life - we always went there) well most came to my wedding...but decided to skip my sister's wedding since they crossed the bridge once already that year!!!


talk about slap in the face...

Re: Am I the only person who is totally shocked that certain people are not coming to my wedding? Did you get that feeling?

Most of my dad's family chose to go to a wedding of a friend's daughter rather than mine (their own niece!) (BTW they knew about my wedding about 2 years before the friend's daughter even got engaged). The other wedding was about 15 minutes away from mine and these relatives all live in Queens, so distance wasn't the issue. And my dad, being the oldest and from a different culture, has done a tremendous amount for all his brothers and sisters. I took it for the slap in the face that it was and decided not to waste any more time or effort on them. I feel really bad for my dad b/c it really, really hurt him. Unfortunately, what little relationship we had with that part of the family is pretty non-existent now.

It did not stop me from having an AWESOME time at my wedding at all! They didn't even cross my mind. I was too busy enjoying the day and all the people that could come.

Re: Am I the only person who is totally shocked that certain people are not coming to my wedding? Did you get that feeling?

yes, i was shocked too - and more shocked when some people - most upsetting my godmother didn't make it that day.....


its hard but don't let it get to you - you'll see who understnads and who doesn't get it!

Re: Am I the only person who is totally shocked that certain people are not coming to my wedding? Did you get that feeling?

Gosh isn't it so upsetting!! The same thing happened to me with two extremely close cousins and one was out of state and didn't even respond!! My other two CA cousins flew all that way, but a response from him didn't even come!!!