Another Wedding Gift Question

DH and I are going to a wedding in Ohio (aka middle of nowhere) the beginning of October. The groom was in our BP, and DH is in theirs. Some of the 10ers might remember this, but this couple sent us one $20 wine glass for our wedding gift--nothing else, and we even paid for their hotel room. I threw the bride a shower before I moved, and we also went in on a group gift for their wedding and got them their pots and pans (we spent $50 on this). Bride's father paid for the whole wedding.

How much would you get them?

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Posted by jilliibabii

Part of me would want to regift that wine glass. The less petty part would give them like $100. You're travelling, you've spent tons of money on them already, and it's NOT a LI wedding, so $100 is MORE than generous.

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ITA

This is not something I would typically do but since you clearly have gone above and beyond for these friends I would say give them $75. Or better yet a gift... get them a box set of 4 wine glasses

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Posted by Marianne13

Wait, the pots and pans were a wedding gift or a shower gift?? If that was a wedding gift, then you are set. I wouldn't normally say this but after the $20 wine glass they gave you, your $50 gift is plenty.

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it was a wedding gift--a few couples went in on this, and that was their sole gift. we were also going to give them money though too because usually we give so much more.

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Posted by miamimerger

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Posted by Marianne13

Wait, the pots and pans were a wedding gift or a shower gift?? If that was a wedding gift, then you are set. I wouldn't normally say this but after the $20 wine glass they gave you, your $50 gift is plenty.

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it was a wedding gift--a few couples went in on this, and that was their sole gift. we were also going to give them money though too because usually we give so much more.

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In that case I'd give them $50 bucks

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Posted by little j

i would just buy a picture frame and give it to them. it sounds like you guys are MORE THAN EVENNNN

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ITA. You have done so much for this couple you really don't need to give them anything more.

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Posted by MrsInglima

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Posted by little j

i would just buy a picture frame and give it to them. it sounds like you guys are MORE THAN EVENNNN

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ITA. You have done so much for this couple you really don't need to give them anything more.

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ita!

Let me get this straight.
They gave you a $20 physical gift.
You paid for their hotel room.
You paid for her shower. (on your own?)
You paid $50 for pots and pans.
and you know they didn't struggle to throw themselves a wedding?
Are they paying for your hotel in return???

if the answer is no, then be cheap!!
I am usually over-generous... but in this case if they only gave you 20 dollars and no hotel room you and already did all of the above... You already etiquette-wise reciprocated their gift. You do not owe them a gift. However, I would stick a 20 dollar bill in an envelope with a nice card or I would also gift a 'gift' like someone mentioned... I actually love the idea of a nice $5-$20 frame with a picture of them or all four of you together. Don't go crazy on them it is not worth it!!

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Posted by soontobecruz

This is not something I would typically do but since you clearly have gone above and beyond for these friends I would say give them $75. Or better yet a gift... get them a box set of 4 wine glasses

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Living out of state and having had a ton of guests from out of state, if you already got them those pots and pans they are really not expecting anything else at all so you honestly don't have to give them anything else and no one will blink on their side. I'm so serious.

We had a couple give us a $35 item on our HM registry as a wedding present. We gave them a $50 item off theirs in return for their wedding a few months later. We still got a 'thank you for the generous gift' card and she thanked us like 4 more times for it. Whatever!!!

Another couple gave us a $30 item from our registry as our wedding gift. It's just how they do it not in NY.

Really, though, you're done. I'm gonna have sticker shock when I start going back to NY for events again lol!!!

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Posted by miamimerger

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Posted by Marianne13

Wait, the pots and pans were a wedding gift or a shower gift?? If that was a wedding gift, then you are set. I wouldn't normally say this but after the $20 wine glass they gave you, your $50 gift is plenty.

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it was a wedding gift--a few couples went in on this, and that was their sole gift. we were also going to give them money though too because usually we give so much more.

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If the other couples aren't giving more and you have done so much for them I would just not give anything. If you feel the need to give somethign$50 is more than enough

One of my BM's that I have been friends with sine the 5th grade gave me a teapot for our wedding gift. The kicker is she knows I don't drink tea. Even with that gift I would still give her $200-$300 for her wedding. Since this is out of state, I would give $100.

Edited for spelling.