It seems like a 'dirty' question because there are people who make me and DH feel badly for not being sure...but I say, hey--at least we are BOTH on the same page. We didn't live together before marriage so we are just full of excitement to travel and just be us. To be honest, I adore kids and my gorgeous baby cousins but we like giving them back! Anyone else undecided about kids? I hope I don't get flames..... lol
Nautical bride
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Re: Any Newlyweds Not Sure If They Want Kids?
FH and I are undecided but we lean toward having them at some point. We would both like another 10 years to think about it because we enjoy traveling and our lifestyle, but I am 33 and he is 38!!
Oh - and he is due to go out to sea in two years!
nov04LIbride
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Re: Any Newlyweds Not Sure If They Want Kids?
We also didn't live together before so kids are so far off in the future it is hard to really imagine whether we will want them. I think when I am like 10 years older I will, but I can't say for certain. Baby fever definitely hasn't hit me yet (and holding a projectile vomitting baby keeps it at bay for years to come!).
lanabean
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Re: Any Newlyweds Not Sure If They Want Kids?
Posted by Nautical bride
FH and I are undecided but we lean toward having them at some point. We would both like another 10 years to think about it because we enjoy traveling and our lifestyle, but I am 33 and he is 38!!
Oh - and he is due to go out to sea in two years!
I think if it all, it would be years ahead for us, too....who know. thanks for sharing. :)
christy
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Re: Any Newlyweds Not Sure If They Want Kids?
Hey Lana, This is a tough one... DH totally wants kids (but not for YEARS). I go back and forth about wanting them and not wanting them. There are times when I feel like I would love to have kids, and there are times when I am not sure if that is right for me. So, I think it will be a while before we even discuss seriously trying for one. Enjoy the living together and the traveling...We have been! 2 years has flown by and we still feel like we need more time to do these things together...(This is coming from a couple who has been together a decade). We just need more time to do 'us' things. Christy
woozshle
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Re: Any Newlyweds Not Sure If They Want Kids?
I wanted children sooo badly all my life until 2001 when we got our dog and we were living together. I felt like alot of my 'needing to feel needed' issues were fulfilled. Then baby fever came back for a while until 2003 when there was too much wedding stuff to do. Since then I haven't felt the extreme urge to have a baby & I'm not sure if we will. I love our life together and I'm selfish enough to say that right now I don't want anything to change it.
amy0405
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Re: Any Newlyweds Not Sure If They Want Kids?
My friends and I have been talking about this a lot lately. I honestly dont know how some do it. We both work so hard, and still struggle to put some $$ away. I dont see us buying a home anytime soon, let alone another person to feed and clothe. And child care? I dont know who would take care of it?
VickiC
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Re: Any Newlyweds Not Sure If They Want Kids?
We feel the same way. While I always wanted children when I was young, now that I know more about it, I waver back and forth. Giving birth frightens me, and I don't know how to overcome it. Right now we are not in a position to even have children, so it's not even up for discussion.
I think that we will eventually have them, but it won't be before I'm 35 - that I'm pretty sure of.
Bebalina
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Re: Any Newlyweds Not Sure If They Want Kids?
DH and I def. want...hoping to TTC next summer.... but we have been living 2gether for almost 3 yrs too
JimmysBride
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Re: Any Newlyweds Not Sure If They Want Kids?
We also did not LTBM marriage and felt the same way you did -- we were unsure if wanted children but were leaning toward probably yes, someday. We were on the same page.
As it stands now I am 9 mos pg and still not sure if I want kids!
No, but seriously, I think it's perfectly fine to be a newlywed and not be sure if you want children or not yet. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise. It's a very personal decision and not an easy one to come to to decide when to TTC, if at all. My SIL and her DH just decided now, after about 6 years of marriage, (and living together for about 3 yrs before that) that they want to start TTC soon. She will be 35 when they start trying.
Yes, they've gotten alot of flack for it, but they did what was right for them.
tourist
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Re: Any Newlyweds Not Sure If They Want Kids?
we aren't sure either. I decided definitely, not before I am 30 (which is next spring) so tha twill give us abotu a year and half married, before we *think* about it.
holly231
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Re: Any Newlyweds Not Sure If They Want Kids?
We are totally sure we want kids!! Hopefully before I am 30...which givces us about 2 and a half more years!
We have always talked about having a family, and we wil!
We also lived together 6 years before marriage...
February05
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Re: Any Newlyweds Not Sure If They Want Kids?
Posted by amy0405
My friends and I have been talking about this a lot lately. I honestly dont know how some do it. We both work so hard, and still struggle to put some $$ away. I dont see us buying a home anytime soon, let alone another person to feed and clothe. And child care? I dont know who would take care of it?
Ditto! its really the Cost (and trust issues) of child care that make us really torn about it. But like lana said, we're on the same page, and i think thats the most important thing for such a major decision
frosty
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Re: Any Newlyweds Not Sure If They Want Kids?
I'm not married yet, but FH and I had the conversation early on in our relationship and decided that we didn't want children. Over 8 years later, we don't regret our decision at all.
melissaandsean
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Re: Any Newlyweds Not Sure If They Want Kids?
we want them, but we don't want them
We love kids and the 'idea' of having them seems nice and wonderful. The 'reality' of having them doesn't, so for now, until our feelings about 'reality' change, we'll be kid-less.
