Anyone else have wedding day 'issues' they can't get over?

I'm still bothered, and probably always will be to a degree, about our pictures. I've let it go because our day was wonderful & we have great memories & tons of pictures to remember it by.

The other things I wish had been different don't bother me really, they make me laugh. I had meant to bustle my dress before our first dance, but I forgot. Our dance probably didn't look so good since I was trying not to trip on my train. Also, I was sick the whole week leading up to the wedding & I had no voice on the day of.

NO - I am over the issues can't get it back. so...Eff it

I would have a different officiant. We used DH's friend who is a minister. We told him we are not religious and do not want a religious ceremony, just a reading about love or commitment, etc.

So on our wedding day, what does he do, starts telling the story of Adam and Eve. Hey now uncomfortable!
Then, he does our vows, which were just ok, and does not let us say the 'I Dos'.

All in all, I was very disappointed with the ceremony. I thought having a friend would have made it a more sentimental moment, but a stranger would have listened.

aww colleen, you did look beautiful and i have to say that we all had an amazing time at your wedding!

Ive seen a lot of girls do a 'day after shoot' with out their husbands, would u consider that? I know Brian would be the same way and would never go so i would have to do it myself also if i decided to do it

I think your hair looked beautiful, but I do not think you are crazy at all. I think we all are the most critical of ourselves, and its not at all uncommon for women to be so upset about something about their appearance that noone else even notices. So you aren't a lunatic!
For your album, if it bothers you, just don't include the side-shot you don't like.
We all had a few things we wish we could re-do. Here are mine. They aren't terrible.
1. I thought there were too many flowers in my hair. Not a big deal, but when i see myself from behind in the video I feel like pulling a couple out.
2. There are a couple of people I barely said hello to at the wedding. I felt terrible about that.
3. There are a few pictures that we missed. I got no family pics with my Aunt and Uncle and cousins who came in from Maryland. I feel terrible that I didn't make that happen. I think they were very insulted. They asked about getting a family shot during the reception, and every time we wanted to do it, someone was missing.
4. DH's best friend made a lonnnnnggggg speech. He wasn't even asked to make one, but he asked he DJ, and the DJ asked and we felt bad saying no. We had not idea it would be 20 minutes long!

Again, not huge major things at all, but if I had a time machine, I would fix them.

You looked beautiful -- make your album!!!

I think your hair looked beautiful, and would never know anything wasn't the way it was supposed to be. And no, you aren't the only one nor are you crazy. I think it has to do with all the planning and dreaming we all do before the wedding, and when certain things don't come out just right its hard to take. Especially the $$$ involved, or pictures we have/don't have.

For me:
1. The DJ was supposed to play the Hora (a traditional Jewish dance) that wasn't played. Of course I didnt realize it until we got to the hotel and I was furious. But again, what can you do after the fact?

2. I didn't give a must take photo list, and I didnt get table pictures. I 'assumed' the photographer would take them! you know about assuming right...

3. My dress wasn't bustled right and when I see it in the pictures I get so mad.

As time goes by the anger over these issues is fading, as you realize there are more important things in life.

Added: I tremendously regret not having my brother in the wedding party. This really haunts me, and i've addressed it with my brother who is fine about it but I dont think I ever will be. Dh and his brother dont get along, and his brother has major issues, and wasn't even TOLD about the wedding...so i felt bad, that if I had my brother in the wedding it might make DH feel bad his brother isnt involved at all...dh said he didnt care one way or the other. I should have had my brother in the wedding party, no matter what but I guess my judgement was foggy for some strange reason, I thought I would be protecting dh's feelings...

My photographer.


I think maybe he's blind and perhaps I shouldn't be mad....


He's a family friend...or perhaps I should say was.

I always say you get what you pay for...and this proves it. I got almost nothing

not much gets me mad. I mean my dress wasnt bustled that great and ill get annoyed for a second but then i say oh well and not really care.

Didnt have things go wrong. I do wish that people didnt stop us and try to talk to us forever. I go to weddings and i tell the couple congratulations, everything looks beautiful, comment on how great she looks, just a few words and let them go back to partying. Some people wanted to have hour conversations with me, like really? do we have to sit here and discuss things or can i go dance at my own wedding i had one girl who kept pulling me off the dance floor to talk to me, even come up to me and dh when we were sitting down and eating, or even talking to others.

But the only issue i do have actually makes me real sad to think about. Dh never took a picture with his grandmother the day , it wasnt our photographers fault but his families fault. AG came up to us during the beginning of the night to take pics of us with our grandmothers. WE go over to where his grandmother was sitting and they had taken her to the bathroom or something i dont even know. AG said she'll come back later to take pics. She did come back and it wasnt that long after our reception started, maybe a bit over an hour and his family told us they took her home nobody even told us, i couldnt believe they wouldnt come and get us to say goodbye to her. SHe is his only living grandparent left, she took care of dh his whole life, was the one who took him to school and picked him up and always watched him and his brother, she means everything to him. Dh started tearing when they told him she left and they couldnt take a picture together. Shes in a hospice right now and not doing well so this is why this annoys me even more now. Since weeks before our wedding his family(not his parents though) didnt even want to bring her to our reception bc nobody wanted to take care of her, and they said they were gonna take her home early and we told them we got a car for her so not to worry but even the car they made come earlier i guess. She had her home care attendant with her at the wedding so not like they had to watch her

Denise that is terrible that they just took her home like that without telling anyone. It was very inconsiderate of them. Im sorry that happened

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Posted by Songstress

Denise that is terrible that they just took her home like that without telling anyone. It was very inconsiderate of them. Im sorry that happened

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thank you Lea. Yeah i couldnt believe it but cant say im surprised either.

Well quickly b/c I am studying, although I feel I should take enough time to let it out.

1) I lost enough weight to fit into my first gown but did not go down to the weight I wanted.
2) I never tried on my first gown until a yr later (postponed the wedding b/c I started law school) and realized that my hem was the 5'1 just my height so I had to wear 1' heals.
3)I had to change my reception 3 mnths before my wedding date.
4) I picked on my chin b/c I was nervous and left a scab a week before my wedding.
5) I regret picking a few girls on my bridal party- they were so unaware of what was going on, plus they didn't care to help me on my wedding day...they were too busy chatting.
6) the cathedral had scafolds
7) the studio photographer did not take the type of pics I wanted (like my engagement pic which were taken by someone else, who I found after I booked the studio)
8) I should have taken the time to reapply my makeup
9) put a whole can of hairspray so my curls would have stayed.

I may have so so much more things that I WISH would have gone my way....sometimes I wish I could have done things differently...who knows...maybe when we renew our wedding vows? how many years until one should renew their wedding vows? I mean I don't want to be too old.

I feel your pain...in some of my shots I want to reach in and pull some bobby pins out of my head....what can you do?

I had some issues...but I try not to dwell on them because it is over, and I can't go back.

1. I would have made a must play list for the DJ...I was lazy and too trusting.
2. I would have made sure that the photographer got pics of each table, and followed my must take pic list of some of the family....and also, he didn't get a pic of my DH hugging the best man after the speech, he only go them pulling away.
3. I would have made sure the top layer of cake went home with someone, instead of sitting in someone's car all night.
4. I would have lost more weight before the wedding...I slacked off a lot.
5. I would have gotten video....I regret not having it.
6. I would have had more time to relax before the ceremony...we ran really late....and I didn't even get to sit down and enjoy it.

Oh...and I woudl have eaten something at cocktail hour, and I would have eaten had dinner. I heard rave reviews...but I did not get to enjoy it.

My flowers so not what I wanted

i hated my hair too & hate looking at certain pics.

and i WISH i took that veil off much earlier in the night. it was pulling on my head from the weigh, making my head straighter, but giving me this awful gobble neck in most of the pis that night....until i took it off way towards the end of the night. pft!

and my flowers - the girls bouquet's....not what i asked for, promised or paid for! but ...ah well... life's too short. i'm married and that's what really matters. not how goofy my hair looked. decades from yesterday look pretty goofy in a lot of people's wedding pics ;)

Oh can I identify!

I insisted JN not pile on the mu or put on fake lashes b/c I didn't want to look like a 'street walker'. No, instead I looked exhausted and like I do after I work out at my end of the night photos b/c all the mu wore off. Should have listened!!!!!!!!!!

My veil...I had to put a piece in to poof it b/c when I had the veil made, I thought all veils were created to puff equally. I didn't realize there were different styles. I guess I wanted a 'waterfall' veil and I got a flat one. So they put a piece in to poof it. Well the rest of the veil did not hang right towards the end of the night and it looks retarded.

I also don't want to see my raw footage of my video b/c I was such a high strung psycho at my wedding. I really should have had some cocktails!

I wasn't going to respond, because I *do* feel like I am over the issues from the day of .... but maybe I'm not?

<< sigh >>

* My biggest wedding 'issue' was the amount of pain I was in for the end of wedding planning, the wedding weekend and the honeymoon. I was on pain killers for all of it, and while fortunately you can't tell from the pics, it was just awful for me. My mobility was really compromised, and I had to sit with a ziploc back of ice on my neck between family pictures in the bridal suite. After we were announced & had our first dance, I went right back up to the bridal suite for more ice. And again later during the reception. Great way for the Bride to spend her Wedding Day, right?

* A huge chunk of my hair fell in back of my head. Mom and our Bridal Attendant kept trying to fix it, but it just kept falling. If I had gotten my hair trimmed one last time before the wedding, it probably would have been fine .... but everyone insisted that I not cut my hair, so I didn't. But it was a lot longer than when I went for my trial, and I guess it was hard for her to re-create the look and keep it all in place.

* I hemmed and hawed about adding a 2nd photographer for a while before the wedding day, and decided not to spend the extra money. I wish I had! We got a lot less proofs than I was hoping for, and a lot of moments were missed.

* Our photographer missed some really important pictures. We DID give a must take list (maybe it was too long?). I don't have a single picture of me or DH with our Flower Girl. Her step-mother realized during the wedding, but didn't bother to say anything to anyone until the NEXT day when it was too late to do anything about it!!

* Which leads me to the next 'issue' ... I have a very large extended family, and allllllllllllllllllll of them came up to the Bridal Suite while we were taking family pictures before the ceremony. WHO the HECK tries to go to the Bridal Suite to see the BRIDE before the ceremony?!!! Because of all the chaos, I insisted that everyone who wasn't immediate family was KICKED the EFF OUT and the door was shut until it was time for the Ketubah signing. And then, only the BP and immed. family & people involved in the signing were allowed in the room.

* And that leads me to the next 'issue' -- the Flower Girl and her Dad were on the way up to the Bridal Suite to TRY to take a picture with us, but they got there after all the other family had bombarded me in the bridal suite and been kicked out. So .... if everyone hadn't tried to come up to the suite, I *might* have been able to have a picture with our FG.

* The Aisle for our ceremony was only wide enough for 2 people to walk down. But both DH & I were walked down by both of our parents = 3 people. Our hall knew this, I believe. Mom was stepping on my dress, and I almost tripped coming down the aisle. So the pictures of that moment, you can see it in my face that I'm just trying not to fall. When DH walked down the aisle, he walked with his mom and his Dad just followed behind them. Just regoddamndiculous I tell ya!

* We went to OWG to take pics before the ceremony. We had 2 limos, one for girls one for the guys. The guys limo got stuck in the MUD right in front of the mansion there while trying to turn around. The limo driver had all the guys, including the GROOM, in their tuxedos no less, get out of the limo and try to push the limo out of the mud. Looking back, that could have been SUCH a disaster - tires spinning, possibly spitting up mud all over their tuxes!!! They couldn't get the limo out, so everyone piled in our limo -- so we had 2x as many people in there and were all wrinkled for the rest of pics, and the whole wedding ceremony and reception. I'm about it because they never apologized or compensated us in any way for their drivers screw up!

But, when it all comes down to it, none of that stuff really matters ... DH & I are married, we have our 'happily ever after' and that's the point of the whole day, right?

My 'mood' the morning of- I was cranky and just a PITA - it wasn't a very well-structured morning. Not happy that I let it get to me. I wish I could get the morning of my wedding back. Hence, I should've had a DOC.

My hair- went with loyalty. My hairdresser for ages did my hair because it was 'expected.' I really should have gone with someone who specialized in wedding hair. The whole morning was all over the place since she did everyone's hair and we were all behind schedule. And my hair fell instantly- but I guess that was to be expected with the humidity and the boat ride. I just wish I had someone who could try different styles, to find one that really worked.

Dress. Corset wasn't tied tight enough for one thing....and I just feel it was way too plain and boring in pics, though I was very comfortable in it. I see so many other gowns and wish I would have looked more.

And I would have sang something at the reception. I really didn't like the idea of doing it anyway so I didn't work hard at making it happen- but once DH said he was disappointed that I hadn't, I felt bad.

Woulda had pics of people waving the damn pennants I made (in lieu of ribbon wands)! Have no idea why our photographers missed that.

Some people I wouldn't have invited, others I wish I had.

Flowers could've been better but I don't really care much in the grand scheme of things.

This stuff REALLY nagged at me for a while....now i can say it without getting truly upset because it really was the most amazing day of my life. And the best part about it was that I married my best friend and I love him now more than I did that day!

ETA: Jess, I'm sorry you were in so much pain that day.