anyone here feeling distant from their bm?

one of my maids always had somewhat of a negative attitude but it never really bothered me that much until wedding details had to be set. i had to go by her schedule, her feelings and if i'm not too-too crazy about it she argues it. she just had too many conditions for me to handle. she feels i'm being unreasonable and that she didn't act that way during her own wedding where i was a bm to. that's why i decided i did not want a chaotic wedding so i set a schedule / to-do list for the wedding day so everyone can be on the same page. so since i had 3 bms there was no point in having all bms arrive at the same time to get hair/makeup done so i strategically arranged for her to be the latest to arrive. she rolled around 1.5hrs later with a poor excuse and a grumpy attitude. i mean.. it's my wedding day. i need to be w/o stress.

now that the wedding has passed i'm feeling indifference towards her. she just seems more and more bitter every time we see each other which is not often. one day.. we all went to a bar for her bday. scott and i aren't drinkers. well, i def used to be but now that we're trying to have a baby having a couple of drinks may not be such a good idea. a bad habit's easy to get into.. getting out of it is hard. she insults me and says i'm not what i used to be. and to be honest i'm not. i'm older and married. i have certain obligations and priorities now.. my body just can't take coming home late from a bar anymore. can't help it. i get tired.

sometimes i think i can be w/o this person but it's not that simple. i can stay away and keep things cordial...? *sighhhhhh*

are you one of the unfortunate souls to be in a similar situation? what do you do? you still friends w her?

Re: anyone here feeling distant from their bm?

i am going through the same thing still...a yr into my marriage with two of my bm's.....it stinks....

Re: anyone here feeling distant from their bm?

well, there is one BM (DH's cousin) whom we will no longer speak to because of her behavior at our wedding...

Re: anyone here feeling distant from their bm?

I have 1 BM that I no longer speak to. We had some minor problems before the wedding but she gave my MOH a hard time with the shower and stuff so since the wedding we just grew apart to the point now we don't even speak at all. Its sad because we have been friends for 17 years and I was her MOH.

Re: anyone here feeling distant from their bm?

isn't that just sad how something like a wedding that's so great creates such a big problem with someone you thought would be an intricate addition to the bridal party...? what's wrong with this picture?!

Re: anyone here feeling distant from their bm?

I've been through it too. We were good friends for about 11 years. My friend chose the Islanders over me every chance she got and never wanted to come to the 'south shore' to see me. She thought she was better than that b/c she is from the 'north shore'. I wouldn't have cared where she lived! She never even learned how to bustle my dress, left our engagement party after 10 minutes, and went for BM dresses once, at the last possible chance for them. We were and still are in such different places in our lives. We keep in touch, mostly through email every few months. Maybe one day things will change and we can be close friends again. I don't know. Meanwhile, my cousin, who was my other BM, and I became closer again after the wedding, like we had been when we were younger....and she lives in Hawaii!

I hope you find a way to make your relationship with your friend right for the both of you. It's hard to go through these kinds of changes and it seems to me like it doesn't happen to the guys as much.

Re: anyone here feeling distant from their bm?

i thank you ladies for sharing with me. i wish you all had better experiences but when life throws you a curve ball... cordial it is.