Anyone up for a LATE NIGHT CHATTITY CHAT??

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Posted by PegaLega

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Posted by vmystique33

OMG read this one



I didn't poop... I queefed in the doctor's face... what was he thinking pushing on my belly after I shot out an 8 lb baby?!

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OMG I just laughed so loud I think I woke DH up

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Posted by PapayaChic

this story scared me the most

'I'm a little late, but I want to participate, too. I totally pooped during delivery and I knew it. They turned my epi WAY down (I maintain that they turned it off) and I could feel myself pooping. I was thinking 'oh crap' but the nurses were like 'excellent push!' everytime I pooped, so I just kept doing the same thing. I don't know if DH or my mom or MIL ever saw it because the nurse cleaned it up right away, but DH said it smelled really bad. Lovely.

Even better than that was when they made me go to the bathroom before I moved into recovery. When I sat down, a huge amount of blood splattered on the floor and then my labia touched the toilet seat! When I looked down I was HORRIFIED to see 2 gigantic twinkies where my normal looking vagina used to be. I went 'OH MY GOSH! It's been awhile since I've been able to see down there, but I SWEAR it doesn't normally look like that!' The poor nurse that is there holding up my IV and trying to clean up the blood and give me a new pair of mesh undies was just like 'it's ok, that happens.' haha
'

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they are horrible!! I am NEVER having children!

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Posted by PapayaChic

this story scared me the most

'I'm a little late, but I want to participate, too. I totally pooped during delivery and I knew it. They turned my epi WAY down (I maintain that they turned it off) and I could feel myself pooping. I was thinking 'oh crap' but the nurses were like 'excellent push!' everytime I pooped, so I just kept doing the same thing. I don't know if DH or my mom or MIL ever saw it because the nurse cleaned it up right away, but DH said it smelled really bad. Lovely.

Even better than that was when they made me go to the bathroom before I moved into recovery. When I sat down, a huge amount of blood splattered on the floor and then my labia touched the toilet seat! When I looked down I was HORRIFIED to see 2 gigantic twinkies where my normal looking vagina used to be. I went 'OH MY GOSH! It's been awhile since I've been able to see down there, but I SWEAR it doesn't normally look like that!' The poor nurse that is there holding up my IV and trying to clean up the blood and give me a new pair of mesh undies was just like 'it's ok, that happens.' haha
'

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The twinkie thing just killed me

OMG she peed on her son

I went into labor at 8 at night and didnt have him until 4 the next afternoon so I was hungry. And my stomach was all upset. When I actually started pushing, I puked all over myself, not once, not twice, not even three times, but constantly. So bad I had to change my night gown and I just left it off and barfed all over my boobs and such. And of course I peed on the top of ds's head when I pushed lol

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Posted by PegaLega

OMG she peed on her son

I went into labor at 8 at night and didnt have him until 4 the next afternoon so I was hungry. And my stomach was all upset. When I actually started pushing, I puked all over myself, not once, not twice, not even three times, but constantly. So bad I had to change my night gown and I just left it off and barfed all over my boobs and such. And of course I peed on the top of ds's head when I pushed lol

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Poor

Im over here laughing and gaging at the same time



Im so having a surrogate

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Posted by PegaLega

Im over here laughing and gaging at the same time



Im so having a surrogate

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Posted by PegaLega

Im over here laughing and gaging at the same time



Im so having a surrogate

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me too

i didnt know about any of this to just last week

this one I think is kind of cute....in a eew gross kind of way


Much like you, over the 11 years that DH and I have been together, I've successfully denied all farts and have been able to blame everything on the dog (and now the baby), which was especially difficult during the first trimester because I was really gassy and very often the dog was outside! Oddly enough, DH has believed my lies all this time. Well, I was about 5 or 6 hours into my labor and happily reading my Real Simple magazine (had an epi, obviously) when my L&D nurse came in to check me. Afterwards, she changed the absorbent pad under my tushie which required me to lift up. Just as she was removing the old pad and replacing it with the new one - I farted. I don't mean a cute little puffle, I mean I farted like I never knew I could fart - right in the poor woman's face!!!! I was so numb from the epi that I partially didn't believe that it was me (because it was so unbelievably HUGE) that I started to look around as if DH did it. He looked at me and said 'the dog isn't here, honey, you can blame that one on her!' I was embarrassed because this poor nurse had probably seen enough and I just farted in her face and apparently DH knew all along that 11 years of farts were really me and not our silly Shar Pei.

Awwwwwwwwe!!!! That was great

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Posted by vmystique33

Awwwwwwwwe!!!! That was great

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See I told you guys it was cute



I really cant have children, I cant shiot on the table and be ok with that!!!! I have to shower immediately after shitting-how is that going to wrk

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Posted by PegaLega

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Posted by vmystique33

Awwwwwwwwe!!!! That was great

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See I told you guys it was cute



I really cant have children, I cant shiot on the table and be ok with that!!!! I have to shower immediately after shitting-how is that going to wrk

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Have the baby in the shower or bathtub

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG


and i did poop during pushing.. i didn't notice, but DH let me know i did, and comented later about how gross it was to see someone's butt turn inside out during pushes

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Posted by vmystique33

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Posted by PegaLega

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Posted by vmystique33

Awwwwwwwwe!!!! That was great

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See I told you guys it was cute



I really cant have children, I cant shiot on the table and be ok with that!!!! I have to shower immediately after shitting-how is that going to wrk

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Have the baby in the shower or bathtub

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Good Idea...but then I have to sit in my ****-oh man Im screwed

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Posted by PegaLega

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG


and i did poop during pushing.. i didn't notice, but DH let me know i did, and comented later about how gross it was to see someone's butt turn inside out during pushes

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Posted by vmystique33

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Posted by PegaLega

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG


and i did poop during pushing.. i didn't notice, but DH let me know i did, and comented later about how gross it was to see someone's butt turn inside out during pushes

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DHjust came out to see W T F was so funny!!!

I toldhim we are nothaving children...he rolled his eyes and went back to bed

Well ladies I had so much fun but i have to go now. But Alot was learned tonight I must say I wonder if this is taught in med school Maybe we can start our own seminars with all we know now

Well good night ladies

ok ladies...I got to get to bed...I have to be up in about 6 hours

Have a good night! And enjoy the weekend...Im sure I will see you on tomorrow night Mrs. Val

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Posted by PegaLega

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Posted by vmystique33

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Posted by PegaLega

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG


and i did poop during pushing.. i didn't notice, but DH let me know i did, and comented later about how gross it was to see someone's butt turn inside out during pushes

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DHjust came out to see W T F was so funny!!!

I toldhim we are nothaving children...he rolled his eyes and went back to bed

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Posted by PegaLega

ok ladies...I got to get to bed...I have to be up in about 6 hours

Have a good night! And enjoy the weekend...Im sure I will see you on tomorrow night Mrs. Val

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Nighty night