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Appropraite age to move out of your parents' house

Summer07Bride Posted:

Appropraite age to move out of your parents' house

The other day I was talking to my girlfriend and she was commenting on how only one of her bf's friends had 'cut the cord' and moved out of his parents' house. Her bf is 25. I then replied with 'well if I didn't get married, I would probably still be at home as well' She was obviously appalled by this response. She replied with 'Well then when would you move out? Eventually you have to move on and get your own place. If not now, when? 30, 35, 40?' While this is a good question, I just always had a decent home life and for me the best decision really was to live at home and save money so that when I did eventually move out I would have money saved and I would not have to struggle every month to make sure I could pay rent or perhaps just put on down payment on a home..

I thought this was an interesting conversation - so any thoughts?
ant n tilde Posted:

Re: Appropraite age to move out of your parents' house

There is an italian saying that your daughter leaves the house in a white dress or in a coffin - its kind of vulgar but no one in my family moved out ( except for college ) until they were married

i would probably still be at home if i wasnt married - well technically we are still at my parents' house in an apt upstairs. Maybe when I hit 30ish I would have moved upstairs like we did now. . . I have cousins who married in their late 30s and stayed home until then and one cousin in her 40s who is still happily living upstairs from her parents

i personally would never want to live alone and i would HATE living with a roommate. . .so i dont think there is an 'age'

for my parents it would have been an insult to just move out for the sake of getting away . . . just a different mentality i guess
bettybcafe Posted:

Re: Appropraite age to move out of your parents' house

I completely agree with you. If I wouldnt have gotten married I would also be at home with my parents. My parents are wonderful and I loved living with them. Its hard to put an age limit on living with parents...but I think it also depends on the circumstances. If you are in ur late 20's early 30's and are in school and working I see no prob. living at home with your parents. However, if you are just muching off of them...no school no work...then you def. need to get ur butt out of there. My brother is still living at home...he pays my parents rent hes in still getting his MS in statistics and is working with the govt. as an engineer. Yes, he can DEF. move out (which he plans to do this year) but hes contributing to the household and is no burden on my parents. Hes 28 BTW. Ok, no Im babbling...in any case, I think it all depends..

MattandTricia07 Posted:

Re: Appropraite age to move out of your parents' house

I would still be at home as well if we didn't get married- LI is too expensive!!!

LitBallerinaGirl Posted:

Re: Appropraite age to move out of your parents' house

I think it's unique to each person. Each person is ready at a different time. I was on my own at 23, my brother moved out when he was 27, and I have cousins who are in their 30's and are still living with their parents.
Everyone has a different motive for staying at home. Some people mature faster than others, others may be trying to save money. For me, I was living with my dad and one day he told me that he was moving out... Next thing I knew I was paying rent on his house.
Brian and Marie Posted:

Re: Appropraite age to move out of your parents' house

Posted by ant n tilde

There is an italian saying that your daughter leaves the house in a white dress or in a coffin - its kind of vulgar but no one in my family moved out ( except for college ) until they were married


SAME HERE!!!


drpepper318 Posted:

Re: Appropraite age to move out of your parents' house


I don't think there's any one right age to move out. I think it depends on lots of factors including the kind of relationship you have with your parents as well as finances. If your parents respect your independence & privacy & treat you like an adult, then I don't think it would be bad at all. But if they still treat you like a kid when you're an adult, I think there's something wrong with that because it's not helping you grow up.

I have noticed that in the NY area, it's very common & acceptable for people to live at home until their late 20's, 30's & beyond. But in college I met a girl from Nebraska who said that over there, almost everyone moves out of their parents' house at 18 & she couldn't believe how dependent people here are on their parents. I thought that was interesting!
PreshusSmurf Posted:

Re: Appropraite age to move out of your parents' house

I guess I'm in the minority on this one .... I was ITCHING to move out of my parents house.

My situation at home wasn't bad at all, but I just felt like I wanted to be a 'grown-up' and assert my independence as an adult.

I got my first 'real job' and moved out about 6 months later, to a co-op that my friend had bought in Long Beach. I was 22 years old at the time.
AeroJenn Posted:

Re: Appropraite age to move out of your parents' house

This is a good question. OKay, for me, I moved out and into my own apartment at 19. I moved back in with my parents at 20. Reason being was money -- it was just too expensive for me to live on my own and go to school at the same time.

However, if DH and I hadnt gotten married right out of college and I had gotten a full-time job right away....I wouldve been in my own place again as soon as I could afford it. I love my parents and dont mind living with them....its just that I believe once a child can afford to live on their own, they should do so. Otherwise, you're just prolonging the act of growing up. Its a natural step in life.

I look at all of our friends who arent married yet -- they're all living at home with parents still....at 23. I mean, c'mon. They have full-time, good paying jobs. They could easily own apartments and live on their own. Instead they're mooching off their parents by not paying for rent or food, having their parents do their laundry.....i mean....grow up. It creates a dependancy for both the parents and the children.
Cpt2007 Posted:

Re: Appropraite age to move out of your parents' house

I couldn't wait to move out onto my own after college and grad school. If I had stayed on LI, sure, I would have stayed a bit longer to get some money in the bank but I would have moved out as fast as possible. I have only a handful of friends that aren't married that still live with their folks. And sadly, one guy in particular, hasn't saved a bit and spent it all on a new $60k car. I love my parents but at some point you have to cut the cord and live your own life and be responsible for yourself.
SusiBtoM Posted:

Re: Appropraite age to move out of your parents' house

I moved out at the age of 32, but I bout a co-op and took my parents with me !
Does this count ?
I moved out of the co-op when I got married, left my dad there on his own.
Never did live on my own.
My sister moved out when she married, my best friend moved upstairs in her parent's house when she married, her sister moved into the apartment downstairs to get her own space, and moved her husband into that apartment.


PegaLega Posted:

Re: Appropraite age to move out of your parents' house

I guess its different for everyone-if I didnt move in with DH I would have been home until we got married. Home life wasnt so bad-I had no complaints about living home.

bluegreen08 Posted:

Re: Appropraite age to move out of your parents' house

I'm crashing....

I think it's totally different when you live on Long Island because there really aren't a lot of affordable apartments. All of my friends from HS who are still on Long Island live with their parents (some in their childhood bedrooms, others in basement 'apartments') and most have no plans to move out any time soon.

The only friends who moved out are those who got apartments in the city or who moved out of state for school/jobs.

I went to college out of state, lived in the dorms and got an apartment when I stayed in that city for law school. It is such a different environment here --- lots of students, LOTS of apartments (in all different price ranges) and very few people live with their parents because 'the norm' is to have your own place and it's actually affordable to do so.
PeteysBride Posted:

Re: Appropraite age to move out of your parents' house

Posted by AeroJenn

This is a good question. OKay, for me, I moved out and into my own apartment at 19. I moved back in with my parents at 20. Reason being was money -- it was just too expensive for me to live on my own and go to school at the same time.

However, if DH and I hadnt gotten married right out of college and I had gotten a full-time job right away....I wouldve been in my own place again as soon as I could afford it. I love my parents and dont mind living with them....its just that I believe once a child can afford to live on their own, they should do so. Otherwise, you're just prolonging the act of growing up. Its a natural step in life.

I look at all of our friends who arent married yet -- they're all living at home with parents still....at 23. I mean, c'mon. They have full-time, good paying jobs. They could easily own apartments and live on their own. Instead they're mooching off their parents by not paying for rent or food, having their parents do their laundry.....i mean....grow up. It creates a dependancy for both the parents and the children.


Same here.
Colleen214 Posted:

Re: Appropraite age to move out of your parents' house

I think that one you've had a full-time job for about a year and saved up enough money that you can live comfortably on your own, you should do it. I lived at home while working full-time after graduating college, and saved up enough money so that DH and I could pay for our wedding on our own. Had I got an apartment right away, I would have spent all my money on rent. So it made sense for me to live at home, plus I couldn't have moved in with DH anyway since he was in Oklahoma for Army training. I really loved living at home with my parents for that year, because I missed them after being away at college for 4 years in VA.

but to answer the question, i think 24/25 is a good age to move out.
GraceAndAdam Posted:

Re: Appropraite age to move out of your parents' house

I really think that the right age for a person to move out depends on the individual and his or her family. I stayed home until I got married, but only because of certain family circumstances. I actually was planning to move out a few years ago because I was working full time and felt like I needed to be on my own. But then my mom got sick (cancer) so I put off my move to stay home and be with her. Then when she passed away, I didn't want to leave my dad alone. We needed each other's company at that time so I continued to live with him. When I got engaged, my dad and I figured it would just make more sense for me to continue to live with him until I got married since DH and I were looking to buy a house. I wanted to save as much money as I could for the house instead of wasting it on rent. So my dad was fine with me staying (DH continued to live with his family as well to save money) It worked out well for me because I was happy to be able to spend time with my dad and to make sure he was doing ok and taking care of himself. By the time I got married and moved out he was doing much better after losing my mom and starting to make friends and travel. So by then I was ready to move out without having to worry about him being by himself.

futuremrsGafforio Posted:

Re: Appropraite age to move out of your parents' house

I would probably be living at home still!!! I loved living at home, and wanted to go back even after I got married!!!
donegal419 Posted:

Re: Appropraite age to move out of your parents' house

i would move out.... i left for college at 18 and iddn't come home again until i was 27 and moved back to LI. If rent and cost of living wasn't so high, i wouldn't have gone back. As it was, i paid my parents rent to help them out, granted, less than i would have paid than if i had my own place, but i did pay them something.

i think people on LI and in NYC get stuck at home because the cost of living is so high here and so many people come out of school with debt. my friends in other parts of the country buy houses or condos coming out of college because it's affordable.

I think if you're not out by about 30, you really should buy your own place. Even if you're not with someone or married, I think there comes a point where you need to be on your own for your own independence and sanity.
fallinlove91407 Posted:

Re: Appropraite age to move out of your parents' house

I lived home until I got married which was until I was 29 I loved living at home -- my family is great, and never had to worry about cooking or laundry or food shopping. All the little things that I have to take care of now -- but it's soooo.......worth it cause living with DH is the best I could've have moved in with him before the wedding but I just figured I wanted things to be even that more special following the wedding and had the rest of our lives to live together so no rush in moving out before the wedding.

There is a right time for everyone -- just depends on your own personal situations though
Aug07OFCbride Posted:

Re: Appropraite age to move out of your parents' house

I agree its different for everyone. Im from an Italian fam and have alot of fam in NY. Even my older cousins are living/lived at home until marriage. Some late twenties, one well into his 40s until he married.

Im from NJ and went to college in PA so thats when I moved out- 18. My mom moved to Ohio so, although one sis stayed and still lives in NJ, it wasn't like I had a home there anymore. Junior-senior year when I moved out of the dorms, I got my own apartment a few towns away, few minutes down the street from my grandparents. I lived alone in the apartment but they were so close that we were always visiting and it wasn't like I was really 'alone.' I stayed in PA bc I started my doctoral program striaght out of undergrad at another nearby school. And then DH eventually moved from Alaska in with me in the apartment. And sheesh, who knows how I ever lived alone for so long. I hate having a quiet place and I get creeped out to easily being alone. lol

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