Baby Talk- Do you think its true

Do you think its true when people say if you wait for the perfect time to have a baby it will never come?

DH and I really want to have a baby but certain things are stopping us, including the fact that we don't have a house, DH has some cc debt, no insurance for the baby, and who will watch this baby?

The problem is that when we look at the things that are stopping us from having a baby they are not going to change (except for maybe he will get his debt paid off within the next year).

We won't be able to afford a house maybe NEVER, there is health insurance available through NYS, and I am always going to have my student loans, which is like a mortgage payment every month, until I am 60!

I feel like if we wait for better circumstances they are never going to come and its never going to be the right time.

I will say to you what someone just said to me recently.

'There will never be the perfect time to have a child, whenever it happens, You'll make it work'

I thought this was pretty good advice.

I completely agree with PP. There will never be a perfect time and you will make it work. Being older than most on here all of my friends have kids. Some were planned and some weren't and every one who wasn't planned said it didn't matter, u just make it work!
If your heart is ready ur wallet shouldn't matter!

when we first started trying, we were still in a one bedroom condo, had no idea when and if it would sell, but we figured we would make it work no matter what. now our baby is due in Sept, we have a house but we're renovating it. it will still be under renovation when the baby comes. is it perfect, no, but we will make it work.

DH is now saying we should have waited before starting to try (the work on the house is stressing him out), but we really wouldn't change a thing. we know we are fortunate enough in our situation. we still don't have things like child care worked out, but i know it will all work out.

I think it is true that it is never a perfect time. If you are in a loving relationship, both want a baby to love and care for that is what matters

i think it's more about being emotionally ready, rather than financially. At least that's how I look at it. I just always pray that i won't have a child until both mine & dh's HEARTS are ready for one. Waiting for the 'perfect' circumstance may never come, but as long as you are in a loving relationship and can be a good mother (or father) to your child - then that's all that matters. I, personally, would rather not have a baby anytime soon, but if it happened - that's ok. No, we're not financially set, but we have a very strong relationship and I know without a doubt that we'll be good parents. I don't think that means we're emotionally there yet to start TRYING, but if it happened - we'd be ok. Like others have said - you MAKE it work.


And I'd just like to add that when I saw the topic to this post, I definitely thought you were going another direction. lol. I thought we were going to start a debate on 'baby talking' to your infant, since some people say it stunts their intellectual growth.

there is def. never the 'perfect' time to have a baby... when it happens you make it work plan and simple... DH and i had big plans of buying a house this year and just enjoying married life ttc around now.. WELL.... things didnt turn out that way...

we found out i was preggo after 4 months of marriage.. which was so exciting but def. not the 'perfect time' we live in my parents home in a teeny tiny 1 bedroom apt. DH left his job for reasons im not going to get into.. i was supporting us...we also had some small CC debt.. we have TONS of school loans which we will also have till we're 60 .. then i was put on bed rest so now we;re both out of work... but you make it work dh has picked up 2 part time jobs to support us. and its just working.. we will be a little cramped in this apt. for a while but hoping to get out of here soon!!!!

if your both ready emotionally i say go for it..

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Posted by Soon2BMrsD

there is def. never the 'perfect' time to have a baby... when it happens you make it work plan and simple... DH and i had big plans of buying a house this year and just enjoying married life ttc around now.. WELL.... things didnt turn out that way...

we found out i was preggo after 4 months of marriage.. which was so exciting but def. not the 'perfect time' we live in my parents home in a teeny tiny 1 bedroom apt. DH left his job for reasons im not going to get into.. i was supporting us...we also had some small CC debt.. we have TONS of school loans which we will also have till we're 60 .. then i was put on bed rest so now we;re both out of work... but you make it work dh has picked up 2 part time jobs to support us. and its just working.. we will be a little cramped in this apt. for a while but hoping to get out of here soon!!!!

if your both ready emotionally i say go for it..

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Thanks for your response. I hope everything works out for you and DH

Do you know what you are going to do for health insurance for the baby?

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Posted by Mimacat

There will never be a perfect time BUT I would urge you to try and get insurance for yourself and for the baby. That's HUGE.

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Yea I know that is the biggest issue. I actually do have insurance but to add a family member on my job wants $650.00 per month because they don't cover family members. DH doesn't have insurance so we can't put the baby on his.

Another option we came up with is the Child Plus NYS insurance which we are eligible for and would have to pay a minimal amount (about $20.00 per month).

there will never be a 'perfect time' but there is def a RESPONSIBLE time IMO.....

if i got pregnant right now it would be totally irresponsible which is why we are waiting.....i think it would be wise to wait until we are in a better situation - i think that if we wait things will be better for us and more importantly better for baby.....i want to give my future child the best - and that means waiting until the timing is better than it is now - and i dont just mean money - i dont think you need to be rich or have a house to have a kid - but you dont need certain stresses hanging over your head....

so i dont know if i believe in ' a perfect time' i do def believe in a 'better time' if that makes sense

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Posted by Mimacat

There will never be a perfect time BUT I would urge you to try and get insurance for yourself and for the baby. That's HUGE.

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i agree - and not to be depressing or a debbie downer but you dont know what kind of health your child will have - that is something to consider as well...

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Posted by Future Mulligan

there will never be a 'perfect time' but there is def a RESPONSIBLE time IMO.....

if i got pregnant right now it would be totally irresponsible which is why we are waiting.....i think it would be wise to wait until we are in a better situation - i think that if we wait things will be better for us and more importantly better for baby.....i want to give my future child the best - and that means waiting until the timing is better than it is now - and i dont just mean money - i dont think you need to be rich or have a house to have a kid - but you dont need certain stresses hanging over your head....

so i dont know if i believe in ' a perfect time' i do def believe in a 'better time' if that makes sense

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i agree, I say there will never be a perfect time but there can be horrible timing. I am not gonna wait until everything is 100% perfect bc that time will never come, there will always be some reason not to or something to hold you back. It just depends on the reasons thats all.
I do agree with insurance though, that is definitely something to look into before having a kid.

i honestly get knots in my stomach thinking about the baby topic.... and in my heart i KNOW there is no 'right' time to have a baby... you can never be financially ready.... but what makes me cringe is the fact that i want to be a SAHM soooo bad but i dont really think that could ever be possible

i think the biggest thing is that i need to be emotionally ready.. like ready to come home and not plop on the couch or come on facebook ASAP after work first thing, KWIM?

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Posted by TommysWife08

i honestly get knots in my stomach thinking about the baby topic.... and in my heart i KNOW there is no 'right' time to have a baby... you can never be financially ready.... but what makes me cringe is the fact that i want to be a SAHM soooo bad but i dont really think that could ever be possible

i think the biggest thing is that i need to be emotionally ready.. like ready to come home and not plop on the couch or come on facebook ASAP after work first thing, KWIM?

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I feel the same way about being a SAHM. DH told me that he wants me to stay home but there is just no way that would be possible, even if we waited a couple of years. With my law school loans I am always going to have to work to make the payments.

It just kills me to think I would only have six weeks off and have to put my child in daycare after that. The problem is that this won't change no matter how long we wait

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Posted by Ayne11

I will say to you what someone just said to me recently.

'There will never be the perfect time to have a child, whenever it happens, You'll make it work'

I thought this was pretty good advice.

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This is so true! There is never a perfect time. If you do become preggo, you'll find a way to make it work.

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Posted by Ayne11

I will say to you what someone just said to me recently.

'There will never be the perfect time to have a child, whenever it happens, You'll make it work'

I thought this was pretty good advice.

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I totally agree with this!!! Honestly I think that if you want one...have one!!! You will always find ways to make it work!

My friend told me once that it will never be the perfect time to have kids, but once you do, it all works out.

We would like ot have a house, or AT LEAST have our house being built before we get prego. But, I am not a spring chicken and I feel like a ticking clock lol. It doesnt matter fo him so he doesnt see it my way.

I would say that no matter what, if we want to guarantee we can have kids, we need to be prego around this time next year- house or not.

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Posted by TommysWife08

i honestly get knots in my stomach thinking about the baby topic.... and in my heart i KNOW there is no 'right' time to have a baby... you can never be financially ready.... but what makes me cringe is the fact that i want to be a SAHM soooo bad but i dont really think that could ever be possible

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me too. When me & dh first started talking about marriage and our life together, I made it clear that it is VERY important to me that i stay home and raise my kids. I couldn't bare it if I had to send them away for somebody else to look after (as most parents must do) So that's something important to me. Not only must we be emotionally ready for a kid, but we need to also be able to afford me staying home for many years (at least until they all start school). That COULD be possible maybe, as long as we don't return to New York. But that's another thing. I'm in Colorado for the next year or so and I desperately want to be living closer to my family when I'm pregnant and raising a child. So it's those kinds of things that hold me back a bit. Not necessarily waiting for the PERFECT situation, but a better one at least.