Before the ring....

---

Posted by yelley77

---

Posted by jtgarsik

---

Posted by Espo22

i think you brought up the best point. I always think the same thing, and i think you should want the guy to REALLY WANT to get married. When he asks you, you want to be so excited that this is something he really wants in his life, planned it out and just as excited as you.

---

EXACTLY. you want them to CHOOSE to spend the rest of their life with you...that is an amazing honor! like i mentioned in my earlier post - i do think situations are different and there are exceptions, but for me - majority rules in this case. lol.

---

ITA with you girls.

---

Yes this is how I feel...I wanted HIM to want it. Obvioulsy a girl should make it know what she wants (Im a big believer in 'If you dont day what you want you dont get what you want') , when etc..from there I wouldnt pressure..I wouldnt nag...I would hope once we spoke about what we each wanted things would go according to plan...lol

---

Posted by lizzie217

---

Posted by jgl




Now.. i dont like the idea either of a guy SAYING that he will make you wait if you keep pressuring me... thats a joke. I also do believe that there is a point where it can be ridiculous and you have to really look at your relationship and ask yourself if you are wasting your time.

---

I think this is the part I was getting at. What I meant was every girl knows their relationship...you knew why the engagement wasn't coming..he was in school, wanted a secure job...these are level headed reasons for waiting. I guess what I meant was if you are both in the place where you are set and secure and he is making those comments I would be annoyed....I was kind of just thinking out loud.....

---

My question is, if you are both set and secure and in your late 20's to mid 30's , how long do you wait before questioning and re-evaluating your relationship if there was no ring? im asking cause i have a friend in this position. What are your thoughts girls? Would you just wait indefinitely and hope it happens or would you set some kind of deadline in your head? I'm not sure what i would do in that position.

---

My question is, if you are both set and secure and in your late 20's to mid 30's , how long do you wait before questioning and re-evaluating your relationship if there was no ring? im asking cause i have a friend in this position. What are your thoughts girls? Would you just wait indefinitely and hope it happens or would you set some kind of deadline in your head? I'm not sure what i would do in that position.

---

I think it's easy for me to say I would set a deadline but in reality that would be soooo hard....assuming your relationship is happy and healthy OTHER than the missing ering What is a girl to do?? I dont know honestly...

for me personally in my situation I don't dh that if he didn't pop the question by the time we were together six year we would have to have a heart to heart to see where this relationship is going. I wasted way too long in relationships with other people where the relationship was just not going anywhere so why sit there and wait? He did ask when we hit our 5 year ann so it didn't get to that point but I felt a 'bar' needed to be set.

I think if you are 21 and just dated two years then your stupid to say we must be engaged by this time but if your hitting 30 or reached then and been in a relationship for YEARS then its a issue of wth do you want with this relationship. Sometimes people do not want to get married EVER and you never talk to each other about it and your like um hello I am 34 now and waited 10 years to get married.

So as many people have said - it all depends.

---

Posted by CD516

---

My question is, if you are both set and secure and in your late 20's to mid 30's , how long do you wait before questioning and re-evaluating your relationship if there was no ring? im asking cause i have a friend in this position. What are your thoughts girls? Would you just wait indefinitely and hope it happens or would you set some kind of deadline in your head? I'm not sure what i would do in that position.

---

like i said in both of my previous posts - i really just think it depends on the situation/the couple, etc. Like an ap said - a lot of times when people live together before they get married they fall into that trap of 'whats the point - we live like we're married anyway'...in other words 'why buy the cow when the milks for free'

i think if u are in a committed relationship for years & u are getting up there in age that it's fine to talk about. every couple should when they get to that point of taking the next step. but there's a WAY to talk about it - ya know? i'm saying i think it's silly when a girl nags, pressures & makes fights about it(unless the guy is resistant & in that case there needs to be more digging as to why)...BUT i think u need to have that conversation at some point...and be on the same page with where u are at as idividuals concerning marraige.... and the timing of that conversation depends on the couple.

---

Posted by jtgarsik

---

Posted by CD516

---

My question is, if you are both set and secure and in your late 20's to mid 30's , how long do you wait before questioning and re-evaluating your relationship if there was no ring? im asking cause i have a friend in this position. What are your thoughts girls? Would you just wait indefinitely and hope it happens or would you set some kind of deadline in your head? I'm not sure what i would do in that position.

---

like i said in both of my previous posts - i really just think it depends on the situation/the couple, etc. Like an ap said - a lot of times when people live together before they get married they fall into that trap of 'whats the point - we live like we're married anyway'...in other words 'why buy the cow when the milks for free'

i think if u are in a committed relationship for years & u are getting up there in age that it's fine to talk about. every couple should when they get to that point of taking the next step. but there's a WAY to talk about it - ya know? i'm saying i think it's silly when a girl nags, pressures & makes fights about it(unless the guy is resistant & in that case there needs to be more digging as to why)...BUT i think u need to have that conversation at some point...and be on the same page with where u are at as idividuals concerning marraige.... and the timing of that conversation depends on the couple.

---

Thanks, ITA I dont think nagging ever works in any girls benefit, but conversations about marriage can definitely be necessary and helpful.

i think that conversations about getting married are totally different than pressuring, nagging, hinting, ultimatums, etc....

i think its totally normal to talk about your future and i think you absolutely should talk about your future every so often......geez - DH even talk about what its going to be like when we retire! and that is almost 40 years from now hahahaha lmao

LOL I just remembered one of the first times DH and I met, I was in my office at Hofstra and he came in to hang out (it was an activities office for a group I was in ) and I was on the computer building a ring on adiamondisforever.com. So he knew what he was getting into when he decided to ask me on a date. Plus the table was filled with wedding magazines cus meand my friend that introduced usdecided we were obsessed with weddings even though we were both 21 and single.