Bridemaid / Friend Issue Post-Wedding -- thanks girls
I'm going to make this as short as possible. I'm looking for advice on what to do with this situation:
A little background: DH's good friend and his wife were in our BP. Other than the fact that they are known for cancelling plans last minute, they are good friends to us. They have a now 21 month old and we understand that their child means everything to them. They left our reception at 10pm to drive 10 hours home to VA to be with their son. After us trying to get them to stay til the end with no luck, the end result was that 'we don't have kids so we don't understand'. We were just concerned about their safety.
Anyway, they are expecting another child this Spring. Since our August wedding we have only seen them once (New Year's Day dinner here in our new home). They like for their son to be in bed by 7pm and will not do anything socially if it interferes with his sleep schedule. (They won't put him down on one of our beds.) We have offered to visit them at their home so they wouldn't need a sitter but they have never followed through and invited us.
Lately I have been feeling so down about how our friendship is drifting apart. Before I moved to VA they couldn't wait for me to get here and she would say how it would be awesome to hang out and do girl things together. Now that I am here, I feel like they have forgotten about us. They never respond or acknowledge emails, calls, or text. If they do, it's rare. I even stooped down to ask if she was mad at me. She said, 'No definitely not mad at you. Just been crazy busy with getting further in the pregnancy, working more, and daycare issues.' Ok, I can understand that even though I don't see how taking 30 seconds to reply to a text is so difficult. And she has an office job and is on Facebook a lot so I don't understand how it's difficult to reply to an e-mail. As for her daycare issues, I have a very open schedule and offered to babysit the boy if it would help them out at all. She didn't even acknowledge my offer.
I don't take Facebook too seriously, but when someone else asks her if she wants to get together and go baby shopping, etc,, she replied saying 'I miss you too! Let's do it! You pick a day!' Another friend of hers asked if she had any plans in the upcoming weeks. Her response was 'No plans. I lead a very boring life haha.'
Gee, that's weird. I thought she was 'crazy busy'![]()
DH is turning 30 soon and next weekend I wanted to have a few people here. I gave them plenty of notice in hopes they would try to find a sitter. But she hasn't even acknowledged my invite. I started a chat with her and we were talking about DH being away for 5 days (in hopes of maybe she'd be available 1 day) and all she said was 'that s*cks.' She did say she would let me know if she can meet up but didn't know what her week would be like. This was Monday. If you don't have plans for the week by then, IMO, that's lame. I live close to her job and could've met her for lunch on her hour.
*ETA* When I asked if she talked to her husband about the 13th coming here for DHs bday she didn't reply. I just got the ___ is offline notice. Everytime I bring up getting together, the conversations/emails stop.
DH and others are telling me to just back off and leave it be. I'm trying, but it's so hard, especially since I haven't met many people to the point of getting together outside of work yet and she seemed so excited for me moving.
If you're still reading, I would appreciate any input. Thanks.
A little background: DH's good friend and his wife were in our BP. Other than the fact that they are known for cancelling plans last minute, they are good friends to us. They have a now 21 month old and we understand that their child means everything to them. They left our reception at 10pm to drive 10 hours home to VA to be with their son. After us trying to get them to stay til the end with no luck, the end result was that 'we don't have kids so we don't understand'. We were just concerned about their safety.
Anyway, they are expecting another child this Spring. Since our August wedding we have only seen them once (New Year's Day dinner here in our new home). They like for their son to be in bed by 7pm and will not do anything socially if it interferes with his sleep schedule. (They won't put him down on one of our beds.) We have offered to visit them at their home so they wouldn't need a sitter but they have never followed through and invited us.
Lately I have been feeling so down about how our friendship is drifting apart. Before I moved to VA they couldn't wait for me to get here and she would say how it would be awesome to hang out and do girl things together. Now that I am here, I feel like they have forgotten about us. They never respond or acknowledge emails, calls, or text. If they do, it's rare. I even stooped down to ask if she was mad at me. She said, 'No definitely not mad at you. Just been crazy busy with getting further in the pregnancy, working more, and daycare issues.' Ok, I can understand that even though I don't see how taking 30 seconds to reply to a text is so difficult. And she has an office job and is on Facebook a lot so I don't understand how it's difficult to reply to an e-mail. As for her daycare issues, I have a very open schedule and offered to babysit the boy if it would help them out at all. She didn't even acknowledge my offer.
I don't take Facebook too seriously, but when someone else asks her if she wants to get together and go baby shopping, etc,, she replied saying 'I miss you too! Let's do it! You pick a day!' Another friend of hers asked if she had any plans in the upcoming weeks. Her response was 'No plans. I lead a very boring life haha.'
Gee, that's weird. I thought she was 'crazy busy'
DH is turning 30 soon and next weekend I wanted to have a few people here. I gave them plenty of notice in hopes they would try to find a sitter. But she hasn't even acknowledged my invite. I started a chat with her and we were talking about DH being away for 5 days (in hopes of maybe she'd be available 1 day) and all she said was 'that s*cks.' She did say she would let me know if she can meet up but didn't know what her week would be like. This was Monday. If you don't have plans for the week by then, IMO, that's lame. I live close to her job and could've met her for lunch on her hour.
*ETA* When I asked if she talked to her husband about the 13th coming here for DHs bday she didn't reply. I just got the ___ is offline notice. Everytime I bring up getting together, the conversations/emails stop.
DH and others are telling me to just back off and leave it be. I'm trying, but it's so hard, especially since I haven't met many people to the point of getting together outside of work yet and she seemed so excited for me moving.
If you're still reading, I would appreciate any input. Thanks.
