I just have to say that even months after my wedding, I'm still amazed by the whole gift giving thing.
I don't want to sound like a brat, and I know that too much emphasis is often put on the gifts. HOWEVER, I am still amazed at how some people, who I thought would be very generous b/c we are very close were SO CHEAP! And others, who we NEVER expected large gifts from , gave soooo generously.
The irony of the whole thing is, that the people who actually have the most money and the most to give are the ones who were the cheapest! And the ones who don't have much at all were soooo generous!
The lesson that I learned from this is that generosity has NOTHING to do with wealth.
Did anyone else have this experience?
leshellem
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Re: Cheap and Generous Wedding Gifts
For me it was the opposite. For the most part, people gave what they could. Those who were better off gave more and those who weren't as financially blessed gave less.
dawnbridetobe
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Re: Cheap and Generous Wedding Gifts
I know exactly what you mean. Most of my guests were very generous-but it was those who we know don't have much but still gave us more than they could that brought tears to our eyes-it really makes you feel loved!
cindyandkevin
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Re: Cheap and Generous Wedding Gifts
It's true. My grandparents are on a fixed income; they contributed to my shower, helped pay for my dress, bought our place card holders, and gave us a VERY generous gift. We couldn't believe it!!!!!!
Then we had guests who are well-off or are at least working, and didn't even cover their plates.
Go figure.
donegal419
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Re: Cheap and Generous Wedding Gifts
yes... i experienced this too...
Generosity is not about wealth....
DH's friend who is a MILLIONAIRE and in our BP barely covered his plate and the plate of his family that came.
My parent's good friends who are on a very fixed income gave an EXTREMELY generous gift. This happened with several other gifts we received. people were great!
As my mother always says 'Money does not buy class....'
DNicholes
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Re: Cheap and Generous Wedding Gifts
ABSOLUTELY!!! Ya know how I posted my weirdest gift was lamps....that was from FHs millionaire Uncle & family.....um yea!
imas98
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Re: Cheap and Generous Wedding Gifts
two wrongs don't make a right yada yada yada
MrsD06
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Re: Cheap and Generous Wedding Gifts
I know you hear this all the time but I will say it again... you never know what people are going through..even people with money may be struggling..they may have been recently unemployed or hit with a crazy medical bill...even when you are close you never know.
MrsD06
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Re: Cheap and Generous Wedding Gifts
Posted by imas98
Most of our guests were very generous. Just one couple stands out because they were the only people to give us less than a hundred a person which i always assumed was the minimum you should give someone (and really not even so anymore). I was surprised especially since we're going to their wedding this October. I'd return the favor but DH says two wrongs don't make a right yada yada yada
billandme
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Re: Cheap and Generous Wedding Gifts
Posted by MrsD06
I know you hear this all the time but I will say it again... you never know what people are going through..even people with money may be struggling..they may have been recently unemployed or hit with a crazy medical bill...even when you are close you never know.
agreed completely
DNicholes
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Re: Cheap and Generous Wedding Gifts
Posted by billandme
Posted by MrsD06
I know you hear this all the time but I will say it again... you never know what people are going through..even people with money may be struggling..they may have been recently unemployed or hit with a crazy medical bill...even when you are close you never know.
agreed completely
I agree with this too and I don't think anyone means any harm in writing this thread...but when you know they aren't struggling & you know it's someone that has more money then god and they're your own family member, it's sort of gets slightly hurtful.....
i got BB&B gift certificates and was excited with that (some people wouldn't be), I got smaller cash gifts and was fine with that too b/c it's not money I had to begin with......I guess it's more of the shock if it all then it is really the gift......I'd rather have them get me something meaningful then to just throw 50 bucks or lamps at me....like one of my friends who I know doesn't have a lot of money...she gave us a decorative wooden tray with a glass covering over it and made a beautiful collage of all of our wedding pieces (invitation, save the date, programs, menus, ribbon wands...you name it she saved it) that meant more to me then any check did b/c it was made with love.......
MrsD06
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Re: Cheap and Generous Wedding Gifts
Posted by DNicholes I agree with this too and I don't think anyone means any harm in writing this thread...but when you know they aren't struggling & you know it's someone that has more money then god and they're your own family member, it's sort of gets slightly hurtful.....
oh, I know and I didn't mean anything by it either. I think it's just easy to say 'but they have so much money' when in reality you never know. But I totally get where you guys are coming from..
PegaLega
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Re: Cheap and Generous Wedding Gifts
Our gifts were all over the place...we had the same...those who had it didnt give it and those who struggle did. Some of our guests went out of their way to try and figure out what we were paying per person so they knew what to give.
mandc722
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Re: Cheap and Generous Wedding Gifts
I totally agree. We were amazed by how generous some people were- and it was usually from the people we least expected it from. Some people were definitely not very generous, but I understand that people usually give what they can afford and everyone is in a different situation. It's really the thought that counts.
AeroJenn
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Re: Cheap and Generous Wedding Gifts
I agree. All of our close friends are just out of college and many are in the BP and had lots to pay for. We literally expected like $50 per person from them, yet they surprised us both and all gave very generous gifts. Same with our brothers -- they're still IN college and are struggling with money big time, and they gave us very generous gifts as well. We were shocked.
Yet, others who were are very close with who are doing very well financially gave us less than we thought they would.
In the end....we completely appreciated every gift..even if it was less than we expected it to be. We literally got $30 in a card from my mom's cousin, but I didnt care....he's going through a lot in his life and it meant alot to me that he came at all. ANother couple gave us $100 for the two of them because thats what my mom gave them at their wedding over 15 YEARS ago. Some people just dont think when they give gifts, dont know ettiquette, or arre just going through a rough patch with $$. Since we really dont know people's circumstances, we just let it go and figured 'well..at leats everyone gave something'
july06bride
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Re: Cheap and Generous Wedding Gifts
It annoyed me more that people came and didn't even give a card! You can get one for 99 cents! Or the one family that decided to take their non invited children (4people) and gave us $50.00 (when we have ALWAYS been generous with them and we know that they can afford more than that- THEY STAYED AT EAST WIND INN for over 250.00 a night!
I completely understand that some people can't afford large gifts... but some people are just I know it may come out bi*chy...
dianadrw
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Re: Cheap and Generous Wedding Gifts
Posted by Future Mrs.
The lesson that I learned from this is that generosity has NOTHING to do with wealth.
Did anyone else have this experience?
I absolutely agree with this. We had a few gifts that surprised us both ways -- either with people being overly generous or people being less generous than we expected. We were even stiffed by 2 people. But honestly, the only gift that bothered me was a cousin that came from out of town. We were not having any children at the wedding save for our flower girl and ring bearer. Well, this cousin practically begged me to allow her children to come, which I finally gave in. So for their family of 4 they gave us $80. That one really irked me.
deirdre730
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Re: Cheap and Generous Wedding Gifts
I agree completely with you!!! I had similar experiences! The best part is now when I see specific people I will whisper a comment to DH about their gift giving....it is quite comical!!!
