Crazy QOTD 5/8/09

Okay so LIF inspired this question....

If a friend got divorced soon after getting married (1-3yrs Iguess ) would you except them (him/her) to give your gift back???


On a thread a lady mentioned that since they divorced quickly they should have returned the gifts.

I know that I have heard this but honestly I would not expect nor accept them returning my gift..if god forbid any of my friends had the misfortune of this happening the last thing from my mind would be my gift!

Plus how in the middle of a divorce do they figure out the finances and how to get the gift back and all that

Opinions....

i know someone who was divorced after 6 months of marriage, nothing was returned.

i have mixed feelings about this only b/c i was in the BP and spent quite a bit of $$ on this wedding and I felt like it was just a waste.

I wouldn't even know how to go about returning gifts/cash

If they got it annulled or broke up 1 month later than yes I would expect the gift back but if not...oh well.

Other than that...no they should not give gift back! I have a friend who even going into the wedding was having cold feet, they separated a year later and no she did not return gifts!

I wouldn't care about getting the gift back.

If it were a day after the honeymoon, then yes. If it was 1-3 years down the line, I don't think I would care.

Someone made a great point..you ate, danced, drank,,why would you expect a gift back?

I have a friend seperating from her husband after 8 months of being married. I don't expect the gift back. I know she's going through a tough time right now

I wonder how the parents would feel if they paid for the whole wedding, and then also gave their child a hefty down payment on a house.

I wonder if they would be like

if they actually got married, no I wouldn't expect anything back.. only because they actually did get married..

we sent a friend a check for her wedding, and a week before the wedding, it got cancelled.. now technically she should give her gift back, but its been a year and we're not getting it back.. we weren't planning on attending, so technically they didn't have to notify us of the cancellation, but since we did give a gift, courtesy would be to return it or atleast acknowledge it..

I know someone going through divorce after short amount of time married.

no one is going to give anything back.
no matter if they split the next day or 1 year later.
That money is already long spent

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Posted by Dee0522

To me, a gift is a gift. You should never expect to get it back, under any circumstances. Yes, if the couple is getting divorced after only a few months or something like that, then they might decide it's the right thing to do, but I don't think a gift should ever be given with expectations attached to it, KWIM?

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Exactly!!

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Posted by TheFutureMrsM

no one is going to give anything back.
no matter if they split the next day or 1 year later.
That money is already long spent

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I totally agree.

see that's why i would have no idea how a couple would even begin to return monetary gifts - i know our wedding money is LONG gone and any actual gifts we received have been used.


could you imagine

Dear Aunt Mary & Uncle Bob,

As you know our marriage bit the dust so here are the sheets you got us as gift. Sorry they're a little used.

Take Care,
The Divorcing Newlyweds

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Posted by Dee0522

To me, a gift is a gift. You should never expect to get it back, under any circumstances. Yes, if the couple is getting divorced after only a few months or something like that, then they might decide it's the right thing to do, but I don't think a gift should ever be given with expectations attached to it, KWIM?

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ditto

I agree with what some of the others said. A gift is just that - a gift. Its not intended for any other reason and shouldnt be contingent on anything like length of marriage etc. If thats the case, people should post date their checks and write in the card, please cash this check after you have been married for such and such a time. And also what lizzie mentioned, you got a night out of dinner and dancing.

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Posted by Dee0522

To me, a gift is a gift. You should never expect to get it back, under any circumstances. Yes, if the couple is getting divorced after only a few months or something like that, then they might decide it's the right thing to do, but I don't think a gift should ever be given with expectations attached to it, KWIM?

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very well said!!!

how could anyone expect their gift back?? this poor couple is ending a marriage and you're worried about your $200? (or whatever you gave)

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Posted by kristi313

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Posted by TheFutureMrsM

no one is going to give anything back.
no matter if they split the next day or 1 year later.
That money is already long spent

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I totally agree.

see that's why i would have no idea how a couple would even begin to return monetary gifts - i know our wedding money is LONG gone and any actual gifts we received have been used.


could you imagine

Dear Aunt Mary & Uncle Bob,

As you know our marriage bit the dust so here are the sheets you got us as gift. Sorry they're a little used.

Take Care,
The Divorcing Newlyweds

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LOL

btw, ITA

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Posted by kristi313

i know someone who was divorced after 6 months of marriage, nothing was returned.

i have mixed feelings about this only b/c i was in the BP and spent quite a bit of $$ on this wedding and I felt like it was just a waste.

I wouldn't even know how to go about returning gifts/cash

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I was in a similar situation, but it was a year for them. Nothing was returned and I wasn't expecting it.