Dear Hubby . . . share your vent!

Dear Hubby,

Just because we are married does mean that i magically know or remember where you last left your car keys, wallet, belt, cell phone etc . . .

i am your wife, not a psychic!

Thanks!


(vent over)

whose NEXT ?!

Dear DH,

Your freaking GIANT sized clothes take up a sh!tload more space in this tiny house of ours...so don't start b!thcing about the TWO suits I have hanging on YOUR rung in the closet...just because i am a midget does not mean i should be stuck with the bottom rung that is only like 2 feet off the freakin' floor....even if i need the stepladder to reach them all the way up there in giant land....if you had read the word Macy's on the plastic bag you would've known it wasn't something of yours...since you DON'T SHOP AT MACY'S...and I wouldn't have yelled at you for ripping the bag open like a freakin Gorilla...so this fight was really all YOUR fault (as usual....hahaha) I am always RIGHT...when will you learn that???

PS I loooove you ;)

Your little wifey

Dear Hubby,

you're perfect.

I love you.

Love,

Me

atleast someone has a PERFECT husband

Dear Vincent,

Thank you for waking me up early to say 'Where's my wallet?' only for me to be a megabiitch while looking for it WITH YOU... The comment, 'see, this is what I mean by you're moody' was completely uncalled for..

However, thank you for apologizing after I found your goddammned wallet.

Your totally fabu wife

'Dear my lovely dh who i love so very much,

When i'm putting away groceries and say 'Babe, can you put this in the bathroom??' it does not mean to take it literally and place the items in the middle of the floor. We have a toilet paper roll holder AND canister for a reason, we have a cabinet for a reason, a soap dish for a reason, and a medicine cabinet for a reason as well. You could have atleast strided for the sink....

Love, your lovely dw (who u love so very much'



(no joke, dh did this the other day lol)

Dear DH,

I know your mom packed up tons of Easter leftovers for us to eat.... including a quart-sized container of leek salad (95% shredded leeks+ mayo and peas)....

but you now smell like an onion your breath, your skin, your clothes..... to the point it woke me up in the middle of the night

pitch the leek salad!

DW

ps- he also noticed how 'leeky' he was becoming, and the salad is no longer

I swear this is MIL's version of birthcontrol.... but it came a bit too late

I should add that I can't complain about DH at all.... while I'm preggo, he's doing a lot a home AND work for me.... he's golden

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Posted by luvabul



atleast someone has a PERFECT husband

---

hahehehahaheh

Dear Hubby,

Please stop using my computer to look at porn

Love,
Me

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Posted by carolinep24

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Posted by luvabul



atleast someone has a PERFECT husband

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hahehehahaheh

Dear Hubby,

Please stop using my computer to look at porn

Love,
Me

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Posted by portjeffbride

Dear DH,

I know your mom packed up tons of Easter leftovers for us to eat.... including a quart-sized container of leek salad (95% shredded leeks+ mayo and peas)....

but you now smell like an onion your breath, your skin, your clothes..... to the point it woke me up in the middle of the night

pitch the leek salad!

---

this one cracks me up!

Dear DH

stop hiding porn in 'our' computer
i can find it, im much smarter than you think!!!




Signed
With Love and Kisses,
your sneaky wife

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Posted by portjeffbride

and it's all totally true! it's DH's favorite salad, but this time, the leeks were super-potent.... it was HORRIBLE. it was pitched yesterday, and he's about 50% detoxed at this point....

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Dear Hubby,

Just because we are married I DO expect you to magically know or remember where I last left my car keys, wallet,papers, cell phone etc . . .

Iam your wife now so get used to my forgetfullness and brain farts! Also you best obtain psychic ablities all throughout our marriage and NOT B!tch about it either

Thanks!

Your loving wife.

oh and one more thing..
get over it. I have.


(vent over)

whose NEXT ?!

Scott,

I stayed home today because I was ill. That being said should have been enough of a hint I was not interested in dealing or hearing about your morning wood. Next time this happens my hands and arms will be flinging into said hard objects without forwarning.

Love,
Nausea-have not sleep in two days-and cranky

Dear DH

If you decide to shave an 1 hr after I clean the Bathroom sink can you clean up your hairs

And when you use the toothpaste squeeze from the bottom up everytim I go to use it its all at the bottom

Do I have OCD

Dear DH,
Though I think its absolutely adorable that you joke around alot could you please refreain from starting nerf gun wars with the kids in the house at bed time that means no one setlles down for at least an hour on a night when I just worked for 12 hours ?????????

Love your very grateful for you being an awesome step parent DW

PS- The nose strips to help your snoring would work much better on your nose and not in the cabinet and would probaly help with my morning crankiness you point out !!!

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Posted by luvabul

Dear DH

stop hiding porn in 'our' computer
i can find it, im much smarter than you think!!!




Signed
With Love and Kisses,
your sneaky wife

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Ditto, but I deleted my DH's. Sneeky.

Dear DH

Yes I know it was my horrendously terrible idea to suggest we get Netflix dvds -- since you were always going to blockbuster to rent movies. However I did not realize it would be the end of me---since now that you have an unlimited amount of movies per month---you seem to believe that every single effing action/horror/suspense/comedy/martial arts film of all time NEEDS to be viewed by you. No--I have zero interest in watching YET ANOTHER movie---I actually enjoy watching a regular tv show. Unfortunately you do not---you believe that if we don't immediately watch all 3-at-a-time netflix movies in one day and return them asap--we are not getting our moneys worth. Movies like 'the hills have eyes 2, hostel II, saw III, are we done yet?, kickin' it old school, etc' do not interest me. as a matter of fact, I'm almost positive that I lose intelligence watching them.

Stop getting pisssed off at me and pouting like a fuking kid cause I roll my eyes each time you ask me 'wanna watch a movie babe?' and i respond with 'no'. we have a dvd player in the laptop for this reason--go into the bedroom and watch your stupid asss movies there.

Thank you
Your hot wife