desperate

i sit here writing this contemplating if i want to stay in my marriage. i know it's only been 4 months since the wedding. they say the first year is the hardest, but i've been miserable for the past 2 years. The moment I realized maybe I shouldn't be doing this, was too late. we paid for practically everything and I just couldn't leave. the problem is, we're in a huge financial mess. i think he resents me for spending money and having alot of debt and now we're paying for it big time. we live with his parents which i hate his mother and don't get along with her. he always defends her and puts her first. i'm his wife for god sake, i should be number 1. it's not even like she babies him or shows him affection. she told him she loved him once in 6 years. maybe longer. we can't move out because our credit is horrible now because of our debt and no one will take us with 2 dogs. his a nypd cop and has alot of overtime and just works alot in general. we never see eachother. he pressures me to try and work more when i work so much i keep going into overtime (i'm a waitress and thats kinda hard to do when our shifts are only 4-5 hours each) and my managers are getting aggrivated and won't let me work any longer than the 40 hours.

he only kisses me goodnight or goodbye (goodnight is starting to fade away) forget about sex, i don't even know what that is. he only tells me he loves me when we get off the phone or when he goes to work. i feel so desperate. i don't know what to do. my heart physically hurts to think of me leaving him and not having him there, but my heart hurts when i'm with him. i can't stop crying over this. i honestly don't know what to do anymore. he just doesn't listen to me and blames me for everything. he makes everything either about money or his mother (he grew up comfortable and when his family doesnt have everything they want, they're miserable a$$holes) i just don't know what to do :(