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DH is on my sh!t list

Original post by nferrandi

DH is in Ocean City this weekend for his twin brother's bachelor party. That in and of itself I have absolutely no problem with.
Now a week before they were leaving they found out that there are no strip clubs in OC. So I went against my 'no strippers in hotel rooms' theory because I do kind of think (as dumb as it may be) that boys should have strippers for a bachelor party. I even went as far as to help him find companies and even made some calls to find avaliability. The one thing I told DH was that one stripper would be plenty since there are only 6 guys, and if they got two strippers it would be more of a live porno girl-on-girl type of thing- and that I definitely didn't approve of that. He left Thursday saying that they were only getting the one stripper.
He called me yesterday to check in and I asked him if the stripper was hot and he said she was ok. So now fast forward a couple of hours later and I'm talking to one of my friends whose boyfriend is also on the trip. Apparently he told her that they did in fact have two strippers, but they didn't do too much.
So now I'm livid at DH for lying about it beforehand and then not even coming clean after the fact. I'm going to wait for him to come home tomorrow and see if he fesses up. I plan on asking some leading questions and giving him the opportunity to tell me the truth. If he proceeds to lie, he and I are going to have a BIG problem.
simbacat Posted:

Re: DH is on my sh!t list

Good for you for sticking to your grounds. You seem like a very brave girl. I can always tell when FH lies to me. I think it freaks him out how I know these things. You think they'd learn to just be honest. Sure we might not always like the truth, but we can accept it and respect them for being honest. Good luck to you.
chmpgnrose Posted:

Re: DH is on my sh!t list

I hear your pain of betrayal and disceit from a dishonest husband because my DH lied to me as well. He lied to me about his finances and wanted so very badly to own a co-op apt. which I never had any intention. Thus, I end up paying 20% of the entire down payment which completely cleans me out. The fact that my DH lied for personal gain which he completely lacks any code of ethics, morales, or good faith is completely heart breaking to me. Men tell white lies and rob womens' hearts for personal gain who they have no guilt and are apathetic. Disception is purely personal gain. I still am completely heart broken.

How hard is it for men to be honest to women? It's NOT brain surgery!
JimmysBride Posted:

Re: DH is on my sh!t list

Posted by chmpgnrose

I hear your pain of betrayal and disceit from a dishonest husband because my DH lied to me as well. He lied to me about his finances and wanted so very badly to own a co-op apt. which I never had any intention. Thus, I end up paying 20% of the entire down payment which completely cleans me out. The fact that my DH lied for personal gain which he completely lacks any code of ethics, morales, or good faith is completely heart breaking to me. Men tell white lies and rob womens' hearts for personal gain who they have no guilt and are apathetic. Disception is purely personal gain. I still am completely heart broken.

How hard is it for men to be honest to women? It's NOT brain surgery!


Sorry this happened to you!!


And for Nicole, I think you handled the whole thing as well as can be expected. I would have been just as upset for the same exact reasons. Lying just makes it so much worse.... him sitting there leaving out that 'little' detail while you knew the truth all along must've been so dissappointing and hurtful. Sorry you had to go through that and I hope your DH learned that trust is more important to the relationship than not 'getting in trouble'.
girlygrl33 Posted:

Re: DH is on my sh!t list

OMG, I think I would have freaked out- lieing and NOT telling are the same to me! especially when you ask- I hope well my DH better hope he never does this or there will be hell to pay- once you lie to me and to my face again- after the phone- all trust is lost- if he can lie about a nothing stripper what else can they lie about!

nov04LIbride Posted:

Re: DH is on my sh!t list

I think if the situation was reversed and I had gone and knew DH would be upset if he knew there were 2 strippers, I do not think I would tell him. I wouldn't not tell him to hurt him, but to spare him from being upset when I would know that nothing happened and it was just a case of someone else also ordering a stripper. JMO, but I don't think he was wrong for what he did. I hope you both work it out though.

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