DH & Laundry

usuk2004 Posted: Aug 26, 2004 09:44 AM

DH & Laundry

DH has not lived at home since he was 18 years old and I know he can do laundry - I've seen him!!!! So, why has this suddenly become just my job after we're married?? IN the six months we've been married, I've seen him put a wash on once, maybe - maybe - twice. I actually don't mind doing it, I actually like to do the laundry, it's just the fact that he just won't that's really bothering me!!!

Last night I tried to test him and I said I should probably put a wash on before it gets too late and he said yeah, you probably should!

nsgraham Posted: Aug 26, 2004 09:48 AM

Re: DH & Laundry

You have to communicate with him. No testing - men just don't get that. Be blunt - 'Look, I need you to do the laundry every once in awhie - it feels like since we've been married all of a sudden it's my job, and I don't like that.' Most of the time, they don't even realize that they weren't. I call it the 'Blind Spot.'

Good luck!

usuk2004 Posted: Aug 26, 2004 09:50 AM

Re: DH & Laundry

Oh, I've told him already!!! It's just not getting through that thick skull of his!!! I really dont' like anyone but either me, my mom or my grandmother wash my underwear anyway And at least when the laundry's done I feel a sense of accomplishment. I just had to vent, thanks for listening

Catch22 Posted: Aug 26, 2004 09:58 AM

Re: DH & Laundry

gesh that is a constant argument in my house. i just decided f it and send his laundry out now...

nsgraham Posted: Aug 26, 2004 10:00 AM

Re: DH & Laundry

Okay then, you just have to tell him - There's the laundry, it's your turn. I REALLY don't like that aspect of living together - TELLING him - there's a mess, clean it up NOW, like I'm his mom, but if I don't he won't (a good amount of the time anyway). I have gotten him to do the dishes without me asking, so that's an accomplishment I guess.

About the underwear thing - very personal but he *is* your husband, he will see it at some point. I handwash some of mine (I grew up that way) but he washes the rest.

We also do our laundry together, so that helps.

Irishbride Posted: Aug 26, 2004 10:24 AM

Re: DH & Laundry

We both do our own laundry. He is afraid that he will ruin mine so we just do our own. Although I have started to wash his good shirts b/c he shrinks everything.

Anniegrl Posted: Aug 26, 2004 10:28 AM

Re: DH & Laundry

Most of the time I put the laundry in the wash, because certain things (like underwear or anything with lycra) can't be put in the dryer. DH would just throw everything in and shrink my shirts.
But he definately helps me fold, but only because I make him! I told him that as long as we're both working full-time jobs, he needs to help out with the chores. It's not fair that I should have to come home from work and be the cook and the maid (and the grocery shopper person )

Niecey Posted: Aug 26, 2004 10:33 AM

Re: DH & Laundry

DH never did his own laundry until he moved out on his home when he was about 25ish! But now he is the laundry fiend. Guess I am lucky. I think it is a quick hit for him - like when he wants to get something accomplished around the house and avoiding big projects he does laundry instead. Although I do it enough - he does it enough and has no problem doing it. Actually there are certain items of his I do not wash and leave for him because he has his own special way of drying and hanging it to avoid having to iron!

KarenB Posted: Aug 26, 2004 10:39 AM

Re: DH & Laundry

My DH does all the laundry, he is great at it. He even does our hand washables.

steph4777 Posted: Aug 26, 2004 10:41 AM

Re: DH & Laundry

DH does his own laundry. He won't let me touch it. I offered to do it a few times when he was busy with work and school, but he told me no. I am ok with it....I just wish he would do mine. I hate doing laundry!

MrsTC Posted: Aug 26, 2004 10:46 AM

Re: DH & Laundry

just boycott doing HIS laundry and do your own. I had the problem of my DH not putting his laundry in the basket - so one day , i took whatever was in the basket and did the wash. Well lo and behold, comes Monday morning and none of his work pants are clean! Never did it again.

usuk2004 Posted: Aug 26, 2004 11:18 AM

Re: DH & Laundry

Posted by nsgraham

About the underwear thing - very personal but he *is* your husband, he will see it at some point.

I don't have a problem with him seeing it. I guess maybe it's that I don't feel that they're actually CLEAN unless I do it myself??? I know, I'm totally weird, it's just that I do like to do certain things myself, like make my own tea or coffee, can't let anyone else do that for me also...

I have to say, though, that DH loves to cook AND clean up the dishes. So, maybe I shouldn't complain...

Chloegirl Posted: Aug 26, 2004 11:42 AM

Re: DH & Laundry

Posted by Anniegrl

Most of the time I put the laundry in the wash, because certain things (like underwear or anything with lycra) can't be put in the dryer. DH would just throw everything in and shrink my shirts.
But he definately helps me fold, but only because I make him! I told him that as long as we're both working full-time jobs, he needs to help out with the chores. It's not fair that I should have to come home from work and be the cook and the maid (and the grocery shopper person )

This is how we pretty much handle it. And, I have said the same thing to DH and that's why we have a cleaning lady now!

Maribelle7777 Posted: Aug 26, 2004 04:31 PM

Re: DH & Laundry

DH would rather give it to the girls that work there than do it himself. Then again he has been known to do a load now and then which shocked the he!! out of me, but most of the time he leaves it.

Do you think you would be starting WWIII if you did only your laundry and not his? Otherwise, just ask him to do it once in awhile. Like every 3rd time. Won't kill him.

btrflygrl Posted: Aug 26, 2004 04:47 PM

Re: DH & Laundry

I actually love doing laundry.....DH leaves his worn stuff all over the place...and sometimes I do too....but if he sees that it annoys me, he'll pick it up. He helped me do the laundry at the laundry room in our apt complex last weekend, which was nice since there were 5 loads!!!

B2BMay04 Posted: Aug 27, 2004 11:41 PM

Re: DH & Laundry

I don't mind doing the laundry either. I do it 90% of the time and every so often he will throw a load in and he will help me fold if he is in the room when I bring it up. The thing that annoys me is that DH tells me that he doesn't understand why it take me a couple of days to do the laundry.

Well that is becasue I do it a little bit at a time at night when I get home (about two - three nights) so it is not saved up for one day. 1-2 loads a night rather than 6 loads on Friday.
At least it is getting done.

Other than that my hubby helps with everything else. He cooks, and does the dishes (helps me clean for the most part) takes out the garbage. It is a team effort.

J.Lo24 Posted: Aug 27, 2004 11:52 PM

Re: DH & Laundry

I am sooooo fortunate that my DH is such a big help. Who would think, since he lived home right up until we got married. He does everything. He puts up wash, folds better then me, washes the dishes always, vacuums, and poop or scoops. He will even go grocery shopping if I leave him a list. We basically share all reasonabilites. Neither one of us waits for the other one to do something, if it needs to get done. Believe me, it is a complete shocker that he is like this!

princess99 Posted: Aug 29, 2004 08:41 PM

Re: DH & Laundry

I do not mind doing laundry. He offered to do it, but he NEVER separates whites, delicates, towels, etc. So instead of having ruined clothes I figure why bother being aggravated, and I do it myself. I do not mind doing laundry.In fact I rather do that then clean off the table after dinner. Dh does that now, it took a few tries until I bluntly told him , and he does it now without hesitation. I guess it is a good trade off.

june262004 Posted: Aug 29, 2004 09:32 PM

Re: DH & Laundry

I have no problem doing wash. The only think that s*cks is that we would take it to my parents but their dryer sucks and no joke we would be there for over 8 hours. We live in an apt. and they have a hookup for a dryer/washer but we would have to get a stackable and being 4'10 that would never happen SO we goto the laundromat and he always goes. Its Expensive but its done in an hour. NOW to get him to help clean the apt. thats a different story!