Did I do the right thing? UPDATE!!

jeanyus27 Posted: Apr 22, 2009 01:44 PM

Did I do the right thing? UPDATE!!

So i got a wedding invitation in the mail and the outer envelope was addressed to Mrs. Jean Maiden name. (I still go by my maiden name)
There was no inner envelope, so i'm not sure if the invite is to me and dh, or just to me.
So i emailed the groom (my friend) and asked politely if it was to me and dh or just me. Is that ok that i asked? I didn't want to send the rsvp card back with both of our names, just in case they're trying to keep the guest list down. This is someone i work with who dh has never met.

SparkyandAng Posted: Apr 22, 2009 01:47 PM

Re: Did I do the right thing?

I think it was polite of you to ask. I personally would have assumed that we were both invited, b/c i'm pretty sure that it's considered rude to only invite someone alone if they are married.
It's nice that you are being considerate of them possibly wanting to keept the list down.

SB7308 Posted: Apr 22, 2009 01:48 PM

Re: Did I do the right thing?

You did the right thing. Better than assuming.

Jenn04 Posted: Apr 22, 2009 01:49 PM

Re: Did I do the right thing?

Yes but that would be odd if they didnt invite your hubby?

jeanyus27 Posted: Apr 22, 2009 01:49 PM

Re: Did I do the right thing?

thanks, i feel better now!

bluekat16 Posted: Apr 22, 2009 01:49 PM

Re: Did I do the right thing?

I think it was the right thing and polite as well. That way everything is clear before you send your RSVP.

jeanyus27 Posted: Apr 22, 2009 01:51 PM

Re: Did I do the right thing?

Posted by Jenn04

Yes but that would be odd if they didnt invite your hubby?

I know, and I'm sure its for both of us, but it just had my name, not '& John' or '& husband' or '& guest'.

MikeandJess Posted: Apr 22, 2009 01:55 PM

Re: Did I do the right thing?

I think it was fine that you asked. It's much less rude than you just rsvping for 2 people if he wasn't invited. Although he is your husband and SHOULD be invited.

jeanyus27 Posted: Apr 22, 2009 01:58 PM

Re: Did I do the right thing?

Posted by MikeandJess

I think it was fine that you asked. It's much less rude than you just rsvping for 2 people if he wasn't invited. Although he is your husband and SHOULD be invited.

I feel that he should be invited too, but i was actually surprised to get the invite at all, since i didn't invite this guy to my wedding! I've known him for a long time, we don't hang out outside of work at all aside from grabbing a drink afterwards with everyone. Thats why i was thinking that maybe he was inviting 'work' people without a guest??? We'll see!

Kimbalina Posted: Apr 22, 2009 02:00 PM

Re: Did I do the right thing?

I think you did the right thing,.

RockysGirl Posted: Apr 22, 2009 02:07 PM

Re: Did I do the right thing?

that IS strange that it was solely addressed to you. I would think that even if he doesn't know your DH's name (since you're not technically Mr. & Mrs. ____ with difference last names) he should have just put 'Ms Jean ___ +one' or whatever.

It was good of you to ask rather than just assuming. But i'd be VERY surprised if they were only inviting you. Even though weddings cost a lot, it's just unheard of to invite a person and not their spouse. I understand if it's just a boyfriend, but a husband? Odd.

I had a woman once do that in my church though a few years ago. She invited a woman, but not her husband (I guess since her husband was never a member of the church and she didn't know him). But i thought that was pretty rude. I know the woman was very offended and it became a 'thing'.

08JulyBride Posted: Apr 22, 2009 02:54 PM

Re: Did I do the right thing?

Since it's someone you work with, do you know if other people were invited from work? Maybe they are planning on having work people all sit together w/out spouses to save $$? Weird... Hopefully it was meant for both of you

jeanyus27 Posted: Apr 22, 2009 02:59 PM

Re: Did I do the right thing?

Posted by 08JulyBride

Since it's someone you work with, do you know if other people were invited from work? Maybe they are planning on having work people all sit together w/out spouses to save $$? Weird... Hopefully it was meant for both of you

I thought of that too. The one person I could ask is away on vacation. The job we all work on has us together for a few months and then I work from home for a few months. So right now I'm at home and don't see everyone. I want to ask my friend if hers was addressed to Mr. & Mrs. since she changed her last name, or if it just says mrs.?

Mici n KC Posted: Apr 22, 2009 03:12 PM

Re: Did I do the right thing?

Posted by jeanyus27

Posted by 08JulyBride

Since it's someone you work with, do you know if other people were invited from work? Maybe they are planning on having work people all sit together w/out spouses to save $$? Weird... Hopefully it was meant for both of you

I thought of that too. The one person I could ask is away on vacation. The job we all work on has us together for a few months and then I work from home for a few months. So right now I'm at home and don't see everyone. I want to ask my friend if hers was addressed to Mr. & Mrs. since she changed her last name, or if it just says mrs.?

Since you didn't change your last name, he might not know your DH's name at all!

jeanyus27 Posted: Apr 22, 2009 03:15 PM

Re: Did I do the right thing?

Posted by Mici n KC

Posted by jeanyus27

Posted by 08JulyBride

Since it's someone you work with, do you know if other people were invited from work? Maybe they are planning on having work people all sit together w/out spouses to save $$? Weird... Hopefully it was meant for both of you

I thought of that too. The one person I could ask is away on vacation. The job we all work on has us together for a few months and then I work from home for a few months. So right now I'm at home and don't see everyone. I want to ask my friend if hers was addressed to Mr. & Mrs. since she changed her last name, or if it just says mrs.?

Since you didn't change your last name, he might not know your DH's name at all!

yeah, but he texted me the other day for my address and confirming the spelling of my last name. (I actually thought it was another friend texting me about her baby shower!) wouldn't he have asked for dh's name at least?

catsgirl Posted: Apr 22, 2009 03:16 PM

Re: Did I do the right thing?

Posted by SparkyandAng

I think it was polite of you to ask. I personally would have assumed that we were both invited, b/c i'm pretty sure that it's considered rude to only invite someone alone if they are married.
It's nice that you are being considerate of them possibly wanting to keept the list down.

ITA, with this,

lizzie217 Posted: Apr 22, 2009 04:05 PM

Re: Did I do the right thing?

I think so, I would probably so the same. If I was invited without DH I would probably be like and I would not go if DH wasnt invited

jeanyus27 Posted: Apr 22, 2009 04:23 PM

Re: Did I do the right thing? UPDATE!!

The invite was just for ME!!

He emailed me back saying that
'The invite is just for you, sorry I wish I can accomidate everyone, I also invited *****, ******* ,and ****** so you won't be alone. If we have extra room when we get all the invitations I will let you know.'

I'm so glad I emailed him and didn't just assume!!! Dh is annoyed and I told him that I won't go without him. I understand that its tough times out there, but i just would've rather not be invited at all ya know?

Jenn04 Posted: Apr 22, 2009 04:24 PM

Re: Did I do the right thing? UPDATE!!

Posted by jeanyus27

The invite was just for ME!!

He emailed me back saying that
'The invite is just for you, sorry I wish I can accomidate everyone, I also invited *****, ******* ,and ****** so you won't be alone. If we have extra room when we get all the invitations I will let you know.'

I'm so glad I emailed him and didn't just assume!!! Dh is annoyed and I told him that I won't go without him. I understand that its tough times out there, but i just would've rather not be invited at all ya know?

WOWZA!