Did I do the right thing? UPDATE!!

---

Posted by jeanyus27

The invite was just for ME!!

He emailed me back saying that
'The invite is just for you, sorry I wish I can accommodate everyone, I also invited *****, ******* ,and ****** so you won't be alone. If we have extra room when we get all the invitations I will let you know.'

I'm so glad I emailed him and didn't just assume!!! Dh is annoyed and I told him that I won't go without him. I understand that its tough times out there, but i just would've rather not be invited at all ya know?

---

I understand that times are tough but it's poor form to invite only one spouse and not the other. There are other ways to cut down an invitation list - like not inviting guests for singles. Your DH is rightfully annoyed and good for you for not going without him.

---

Posted by kirstenjk

I understand that times are tough but it's poor form to invite only one spouse and not the other. There are other ways to cut down an invitation list - like not inviting guests for singles. Your DH is rightfully annoyed and good for you for not going without him.

---

I totally agree.
One thing if you were single and just dating, but you are MARRIED.
Weird to just invite one spouse.
If it were me, I'd send my regrets and a gift.

That is WEIRD. I wouldn't go either - it's not someone you know that well you said, right?

I was invited to a wedding a few years ago that my DH (boyfriend at the time) was not invited to. I thought even THAT was weird because the bride was someone I had known for years, and she knew I had been with Matt for years at the time - I think maybe 3 or 4? She wound up inviting him later on and we didn't go - just weird I think to break up a couple like that and invite only one.

---

Posted by kirstenjk

---

Posted by jeanyus27

The invite was just for ME!!

He emailed me back saying that
'The invite is just for you, sorry I wish I can accommodate everyone, I also invited *****, ******* ,and ****** so you won't be alone. If we have extra room when we get all the invitations I will let you know.'

I'm so glad I emailed him and didn't just assume!!! Dh is annoyed and I told him that I won't go without him. I understand that its tough times out there, but i just would've rather not be invited at all ya know?

---

I understand that times are tough but it's poor form to invite only one spouse and not the other. There are other ways to cut down an invitation list - like not inviting guests for singles. Your DH is rightfully annoyed and good for you for not going without him.

---

ITA

I understand not inviting a bf, but a husband I wouldn't go without DH either and DH wouldn't go without me. Your friend should have redone his list or not invited you. Would you have gotten offended if you were invited? I wonder if your friend would leave his wife behind to go to a friends wedding. I guess everyone is different.

You totally did the right thing by asking....I am just like huh?? that you were invited w/o your husband to a WEDDING. I understand keeping costs down but regardless, that's not considered the proper 'etiquette'...if it was me, I would send a gift and my regrets. I would feel funny going to a wedding w/o my husband.

---

Posted by Kimbalina

AT first I was like oh it is a co-worker then yea, I can see with out a spouce.. but a FRIEND! Then I would be a bit annoyed. I would rather go with my DH then with out. I think I would RSVP no and send a card.

---

agreed. DH should have been invited if this is your friend! send a card with gift and rsvp no

I think it is nice you asked. Usually with weddings, you invite someones spouse if they are married. But if they are inviting a lot of co-workers w/o spouses then thats another thing.

ETA: I think Im on my own here, but I don't think its that weird to be invited w/o the husband in this situation. In any other situation I think it would be weird. But Im assuming they are inviting a bunch of people from work w/o spouses. So it will be more a social thing for the work people. Kinda going along with the whole if you invite one co-worker you have to invite them all type of thing. Cus say they invited 12 co-workers. If they all brought spouses, that would be another 12 people. Thats 2-3 tables of co-workers!

In my original answer I replied I would not go if DH was not invited and I stand by that. I am offended by this (why I dont know ) but if it was me I would be pissed...I know times are tough but they are getting married, how would they like it if it were them? I would not even want to send a gift.....

---

Posted by GinaZ

I think it is nice you asked. Usually with weddings, you invite someones spouse if they are married. But if they are inviting a lot of co-workers w/o spouses then thats another thing.

ETA: I think Im on my own here, but I don't think its that weird to be invited w/o the husband in this situation. In any other situation I think it would be weird. But Im assuming they are inviting a bunch of people from work w/o spouses. So it will be more a social thing for the work people. Kinda going along with the whole if you invite one co-worker you have to invite them all type of thing. Cus say they invited 12 co-workers. If they all brought spouses, that would be another 12 people. Thats 2-3 tables of co-workers!

---

It is a friend I think, not a co-worker.. at first I thought It was a co-worker too.

---

Posted by Kimbalina

---

Posted by GinaZ

I think it is nice you asked. Usually with weddings, you invite someones spouse if they are married. But if they are inviting a lot of co-workers w/o spouses then thats another thing.

ETA: I think Im on my own here, but I don't think its that weird to be invited w/o the husband in this situation. In any other situation I think it would be weird. But Im assuming they are inviting a bunch of people from work w/o spouses. So it will be more a social thing for the work people. Kinda going along with the whole if you invite one co-worker you have to invite them all type of thing. Cus say they invited 12 co-workers. If they all brought spouses, that would be another 12 people. Thats 2-3 tables of co-workers!

---

It is a friend I think, not a co-worker.. at first I thought It was a co-worker too.

---

oh I thought it was a coworker too- since he wasnt invited to her wedding- if its a coworker its fine- a friend its not ok

ETA- it is her coworker- she said something about not hanging out outside work on the first page

---

Posted by jeanyus27

Hey girls! So, yeah he's a co-worker/friend. I've known him for about 7 or 8 years. We work on a TV show together, so its not like an office. We all hang out and have fun at work and then afterwards a lot of the time we'll go get a drink across the street. I was there the day he met his fiance about 6 years ago, but i don't really know her. He's only inviting three other people from work. Only one of them is married and the other two are single. I'm not really that offended and I appreciate him wanting to invite me. But dh and I hardly go out, so i don't want to get all dressed up and be like 'see ya!'.

---

yeah I'd feel the same way. It's kind of rude to invite somebody without their spouse. I understand that money is tight and weddings are expensive (I went thru the same thing only 4 months ago). But I would never even consider asking somebody without their husband or wife. Maybe if he was just your boyfriend it would make more sense. But a husband?? (as I posted earlier on this thread, a girl in my church did that it caused quite an ordeal)

I probably wouldn't want to go either if I were in your situation. Not to be in a huff and get all immature about it, but i just wouldn't feel right getting dressed up and going out without my DH.

A friend of mine from work invited a bunch of us girls to her wedding. She didn't have the $ for a big wedding so spouses/ partners/ dates weren't invited. (This was before my DH came into my life, but my other friends were all married.)

We all had a blast. Total girls day out.
We totally understood that they couldn't afford a big wedding.

It's very kind that u asked!