Did you have any no shows at your wedding?

Soon2BMrsC09 Posted: Apr 17, 2009 07:41 PM

Did you have any no shows at your wedding?

I know there have been lots of topics on it on these boards and I did a search, but here are my two questions.

A) Did you have any no shows at your wedding?

B) Did it change your relationship with that person, and as the time has gone on - have those feelings changed at all?

We had 7 people no show, one couple substitute the wife for the daughter (who was 9!) and we had a couple RSVP No just so they could show up and go to the ceremony and CH... so we had 7 1/2 people not show (if that makes sense)

One couple had a good reason (father of one of them passed away the night before the wedding), one couple only the wife came, and four people just didnt show up, no call, no nothing, one of them being someone that I gave a 'courtesy invitation' to because we all knew they would RSVP no, but they RSVP'd yes (which I kicked myself for) and then they didnt show (which I kicked myself harder for)...

MikeandJess Posted: Apr 17, 2009 07:45 PM

Re: Did you have any no shows at your wedding?

yup DH's brother who doubled as a GM was a no show. It was fun. We also had 2 of DH's aunts SO's not show up.

jeanyus27 Posted: Apr 17, 2009 07:46 PM

Re: Did you have any no shows at your wedding?

I had a few, my cousin's husband and two children all were sick, but they sent a card with my aunt. My other cousins husband couldn't make it for some reason and someone elses wife didn't get out of work in time or something like that! We didn't have anyone not show without knowing why. That would probably bother me, but I always give the benefit of the doubt until I hear the actual reason why. BTW if I haven't said it before, welcome to the NW board!

Soon2BMrsC09 Posted: Apr 17, 2009 07:47 PM

Re: Did you have any no shows at your wedding?

Posted by MikeandJess

yup DH's brother who doubled as a GM was a no show. It was fun. We also had 2 of DH's aunts SO's not show up.

One of my no shows was an uncle ... I just cant even think about how much $$ I spent NOT feeding people... KWIM

Soon2BMrsC09 Posted: Apr 17, 2009 07:48 PM

Re: Did you have any no shows at your wedding?

Posted by jeanyus27

I had a few, my cousin's husband and two children all were sick, but they sent a card with my aunt. My other cousins husband couldn't make it for some reason and someone elses wife didn't get out of work in time or something like that! We didn't have anyone not show without knowing why. That would probably bother me, but I always give the benefit of the doubt until I hear the actual reason why. BTW if I haven't said it before, welcome to the NW board!

Thanks - I am actually sohappy to be on the NW side... I think I can actually say I was so OVER wedding planning BEFORE the wedding came... now that its over, its nice to see a bunch of women who arent worrying about favor boxes and colors

jeanyus27 Posted: Apr 17, 2009 07:50 PM

Re: Did you have any no shows at your wedding?

Posted by Soon2BMrsC09

Posted by jeanyus27

I had a few, my cousin's husband and two children all were sick, but they sent a card with my aunt. My other cousins husband couldn't make it for some reason and someone elses wife didn't get out of work in time or something like that! We didn't have anyone not show without knowing why. That would probably bother me, but I always give the benefit of the doubt until I hear the actual reason why. BTW if I haven't said it before, welcome to the NW board!

Thanks - I am actually sohappy to be on the NW side... I think I can actually say I was so OVER wedding planning BEFORE the wedding came... now that its over, its nice to see a bunch of women who arent worrying about favor boxes and colors

I totally understand! Towards the end I was looking forward to the honeymoon more than the actual wedding!

Mrs. V 2008 Posted: Apr 17, 2009 07:54 PM

Re: Did you have any no shows at your wedding?

I didn't have any no-shows per say..but I did have people that flat out never responded and unfortunately it has caused somewhat of a strain on our relationship with them

Mrs. V 2008 Posted: Apr 17, 2009 07:55 PM

Re: Did you have any no shows at your wedding?

Posted by Soon2BMrsC09

Posted by jeanyus27

I had a few, my cousin's husband and two children all were sick, but they sent a card with my aunt. My other cousins husband couldn't make it for some reason and someone elses wife didn't get out of work in time or something like that! We didn't have anyone not show without knowing why. That would probably bother me, but I always give the benefit of the doubt until I hear the actual reason why. BTW if I haven't said it before, welcome to the NW board!

Thanks - I am actually sohappy to be on the NW side... I think I can actually say I was so OVER wedding planning BEFORE the wedding came... now that its over, its nice to see a bunch of women who arent worrying about favor boxes and colors

Lol I hear you! I sometimes feel so relieved that the whole wedding is over!!! It was getting super annoying and its just so nice to be married (finally) and have my life back!!

Mici n KC Posted: Apr 17, 2009 08:11 PM

Re: Did you have any no shows at your wedding?

We had 2 no shows. One was a cousin of DH, which I could careless bc I've never met him. MIL was more pissed about that. The other was a friend of mine that called me right after I gave my final and she said she 'wouldn't miss it for the world' and then didn't show and I haven't heard from her.

Soon2BMrsC09 Posted: Apr 17, 2009 08:13 PM

Re: Did you have any no shows at your wedding?

I think that without making the phone call to me, at this point, I wont initiate any type of conversation/christmas card/etc... its just rude.

Toucan311 Posted: Apr 17, 2009 08:14 PM

Re: Did you have any no shows at your wedding?

We had a few. 8 I think. One couple had a valid excuse (medical emergency) and I have no idea what happened to the other 3 couples, but they all sent a gift ASAP and their apologies, so nothing gained, nothing lost.

JKFris09 Posted: Apr 17, 2009 09:05 PM

Re: Did you have any no shows at your wedding?

I had 2 no shows, one of them didn't really surprise me and I hardly see the person anyway so it didn't matter and the second was a friend of ours and her husband who got stranded in a snow storm update, so I couldn't be upset with them for that.

RockysGirl Posted: Apr 17, 2009 09:19 PM

Re: Did you have any no shows at your wedding?

Actually I didn't have any no-shows that I can think of. Some people left early and others no-gifted. But I'm pretty sure that everybody who RSVP'd 'yes' came (thank God).

But even just the ones who left way earlier than what is normal and those who no-gifted us, I don't think it changed our relationships at all. I guess I kind of look at them a little different. Still curious why anybody would do that. But it's not like I'm bitter and unable to be friends with 'em anymore. lol.

And by the way - yesss, I'm with you!!! I was SO finished planning that wedding even before it came. lol. I just wanted to be MARRIED to him already. And I was so sick of even just discussing wedding plans on the boards. haha. But now that i look back, I am so happy that I put so much time & energy into it. It was a perfect day

MrsLarrea2B Posted: Apr 17, 2009 09:20 PM

Re: Did you have any no shows at your wedding?

I had like 8 or 10 no shows, but we also invited like 10 extra people who we didnt account for, so I broke even in the end. Otherwise I would have been really mad.

curiousgeorge Posted: Apr 18, 2009 12:23 AM

Re: Did you have any no shows at your wedding?

sophisticat13 Posted: Apr 18, 2009 12:35 AM

Re: Did you have any no shows at your wedding?

I had two no-shows- our neighbors, but they had a very good reason (mom had to go into emergency surgery that morning!) and they gave us a gift and a bottle of wine so no problem lol. I had more of a problem with a friend who came but did not even get a card. I have only spoken to her once since (now it's 8 mos later) and I guess I'm still a little hurt, because how do you not give a friend of over a decade a card at least? I just think it's rude. She also did other things like wear the SAME EXACT DRESS that I wore to my RD (she was there) to my wedding and she wore a totally inappropriate dress (read: your t*ts are falling out) to my RD (yes I know let it go already.... ).
I think no-shows are pretty common and it's up to you as to whether you want to continue the realtionship or not with the person, and if you do, on what terms. I believe that the least you can do as a no-show is send a gift and an apology but I know this isn't what happens often

Mrs A in May Posted: Apr 18, 2009 12:43 AM

Re: Did you have any no shows at your wedding?

I had one no show for a valid reason, but another guest decided to bring a date w/o telling us so it made up for the no show, lol.
Quite a few people never bothered to rsvp and a couple were no gifters including one of my BMs, and yes it has changed our relationship.

hyphenbride Posted: Apr 18, 2009 08:21 AM

Re: Did you have any no shows at your wedding?

We had one couple not attend due to a real medical emergency. I was obviously okay with that.

Our neighbors of FOREVER did a no show. This was after she was calling my mother the night before the wedding asking her to arrange a ride for her! I was seriously livid about this--her excuse was that her daughter had a tooth ache!

Anyway, I've pretty much let go of this because the woman is losing it mentally...She's pretty old and asked me AT MY SHOWER if I had a boyfriend! And told one of the other (married) neighbors that she could set her up with a nice boy! So, I am letting it go...