'diet' revelation (long)

**Disclaimer: This is not a negative attack on WW. I believe it's a good plan. Just starting to realize that maybe letting go of it, might be what I need to do.


So, I'm on the treadmill this morning thinking how I 'have to get back on track' and bashing myself for gaining weight since the wedding and holidays?feeling 'out of control.' My first thought is 'got to get back to WW.' But then I'm thinking, maybe that's my problem?

I've been a WW member and supporter for over 10 years. I agree it's a good plan and it works when you stick to it. And even though their new ad campaign rails against diets, I do feel like I've been a slave to points and the scale for over a decade. YIKES! (let's not talk about the thousands of dollars I've given to WW over the years). Enticed by freedom from counting points, I've tried the core plan,. Again, sound nutrition, but after awhile I start to focus on what I can't have and fall off the wagon, hard.
I realize, I've been on some sort of 'diet' for the majority of my life--since I was maybe 11 or 12. I often think, what would it be like to just be normal: Nothing is off limits; I just eat when I'm hungry stop when I'm full. It's just a vicious cycle: I follow WW for a few weeks, have a bad week, spend another week feeling badly, which leads to eating badly, then I get back on track--all while playing with the same 5lbs. I watch my 'naturally' thin friends. They pretty much eat whatever they want. Take my friend C for example. She craves McDonald's, she gets it. But she rarely finishes her meal. She stops when she's satisfied. I wonder, could I do that do (hate McDonald's, but just an example)? What she doesn't do? Scarf it down like there's no tomorrow, because she knows it's not the 'last time' she can have a burger. Or, go home and mentally beats herself up and says 'I've blown it' might as well have ice cream.

So I'm going to give it a shot. I'm trying to take the taboo out of 'bad foods' and just listen to my body. I'm taking a break from WW to see if I can find my ideal weight w/o counting points and diligently measuring food. I'm going to feed my body 'real' food; no fake diet stuff that only leaves me hungrier and most of all, re-learn how to listen to my body.

Has anyone else felt this way? Or, actually done this? Really changed their 'diet' mentality?

I could have written this myself. I am in exactly the same boat and it's such a pain. The one difference is that I think WW really helped me change my eating habits enough that I do a lot of things that I didn't do before. I gave up on writing everything down and counting points after about a year but I stuck to the idea of eating a lot of whole grains, veggies, fruits, lean meat, etc instead of the garbage I was eating in college. And I know that I need to stick to that kind of healthy eating and exercising for the rest of my life because my metabolism suucks. The biggest realization I've come to recently is that I need to figure out what level of fitness and health makes me feel best and stay there, instead of obsessing over numbers on a scale. I lost 30 lbs before my wedding and loved the way I looked that day. The number on the scale still doesn't reflect what many would consider a 'thin weight' but I feel more fit and healthy than ever in my life. Still in the back of my mind I keep thinking how much 'better' it would be if I could drop 10 more lbs and have that number look more appealing, but my body doesn't seem to want to lose them, and I'm starting to realize that maybe I should listen and not beat myself up for not 'trying hard enough.'

Learning how not to feel guilty is my biggest challenge. I'm better than I used to be, but I still struggle.

Well after years of crazy dieting I no longer 'diet'..i got chunky around 4th grade...started dieting in 9th grade..and became super skinny...but not in a healthy way...i'd eat insanely small amounts of food and weighed about103lbs...and still wasn't happy with my body. This continued thru college & into my early 20's...as i grew up I realized that my self worth isn't attached to a number on a scale... I have always been a food craver and an emotional eater...i am working on that. But never will i deprive myself of food again and live like an insane person. I work out regularly and enjoy a Big mac now and then. I always say I work out so i can enjoy eating!

I have put on some weight since the wedding and realize I need to pay a bit more attention to what i am eating, but will not 'diet' if that makes sense. I actually started reading a book with your theory of 'nothing is off limits'...i never finished it (just cause i am super A.D.D. when it comes to reading) but it was called 'Overcoming Overeating' by Jane Hirchmann. You may want to check it out...i know i have issues with food...and envy the 'normal' eaters out there!

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Posted by cookiemonster

I could have written this myself. I am in exactly the same boat and it's such a pain. The one difference is that I think WW really helped me change my eating habits enough that I do a lot of things that I didn't do before. I gave up on writing everything down and counting points after about a year but I stuck to the idea of eating a lot of whole grains, veggies, fruits, lean meat, etc instead of the garbage I was eating in college. And I know that I need to stick to that kind of healthy eating and exercising for the rest of my life because my metabolism suucks. The biggest realization I've come to recently is that I need to figure out what level of fitness and health makes me feel best and stay there, instead of obsessing over numbers on a scale. I lost 30 lbs before my wedding and loved the way I looked that day. The number on the scale still doesn't reflect what many would consider a 'thin weight' but I feel more fit and healthy than ever in my life. Still in the back of my mind I keep thinking how much 'better' it would be if I could drop 10 more lbs and have that number look more appealing, but my body doesn't seem to want to lose them, and I'm starting to realize that maybe I should listen and not beat myself up for not 'trying hard enough.'

Learning how not to feel guilty is my biggest challenge. I'm better than I used to be, but I still struggle.

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Yeah, the guilt is the worst.
I agree. I definitely learned a lot of good habits from WW....even down to my cooking habits. That's what kills me the most, I know how to eat sensibly. I went to a nutritionist once and she was impressed with how much I knew about the subject. I just think it's the guilt of when I 'slip up' that trips me up.
I know it's such a cliche saying, but I really need to embrace the saying, 'everything in moderation.'

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Posted by HamptonsBride

Well after years of crazy dieting I no longer 'diet'..i got chunky around 4th grade...started dieting in 9th grade..and became super skinny...but not in a healthy way...i'd eat insanely small amounts of food and weighed about103lbs...and still wasn't happy with my body. This continued thru college & into my early 20's...as i grew up I realized that my self worth isn't attached to a number on a scale... I have always been a food craver and an emotional eater...i am working on that. But never will i deprive myself of food again and live like an insane person. I work out regularly and enjoy a Big mac now and then. I always say I work out so i can enjoy eating!

I have put on some weight since the wedding and realize I need to pay a bit more attention to what i am eating, but will not 'diet' if that makes sense. I actually started reading a book with your theory of 'nothing is off limits'...i never finished it (just cause i am super A.D.D. when it comes to reading) but it was called 'Overcoming Overeating' by Jane Hirchmann. You may want to check it out...i know i have issues with food...and envy the 'normal' eaters out there!

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Thank you! Definitely going to check it out. Someone also recommeded books by Geneen Roth.

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Posted by magbride

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Posted by cookiemonster

I could have written this myself. I am in exactly the same boat and it's such a pain. The one difference is that I think WW really helped me change my eating habits enough that I do a lot of things that I didn't do before. I gave up on writing everything down and counting points after about a year but I stuck to the idea of eating a lot of whole grains, veggies, fruits, lean meat, etc instead of the garbage I was eating in college. And I know that I need to stick to that kind of healthy eating and exercising for the rest of my life because my metabolism suucks. The biggest realization I've come to recently is that I need to figure out what level of fitness and health makes me feel best and stay there, instead of obsessing over numbers on a scale. I lost 30 lbs before my wedding and loved the way I looked that day. The number on the scale still doesn't reflect what many would consider a 'thin weight' but I feel more fit and healthy than ever in my life. Still in the back of my mind I keep thinking how much 'better' it would be if I could drop 10 more lbs and have that number look more appealing, but my body doesn't seem to want to lose them, and I'm starting to realize that maybe I should listen and not beat myself up for not 'trying hard enough.'

Learning how not to feel guilty is my biggest challenge. I'm better than I used to be, but I still struggle.

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Yeah, the guilt is the worst.
I agree. I definitely learned a lot of good habits from WW....even down to my cooking habits. That's what kills me the most, I know how to eat sensibly. I went to a nutritionist once and she was impressed with how much I knew about the subject. I just think it's the guilt of when I 'slip up' that trips me up.
I know it's such a cliche saying, but I really need to embrace the saying, 'everything in moderation.'

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One thing that's worked for me lately is the notion that one screw-up doesn't beget another. In other words, if I 'slip up' and eat a donut or something, I used to just say 'oh well, today is already a lost cause' and then eat like crap for the rest of the day. Now I try to modify the rest of my day to accommodate the treat (read: treat, not 'bad food'), make sure I hit the gym, and try not to think about it. It's been really, really hard for me but I still wind up feeling better about myself than if I just use one bad move as an excuse for others.

I have never done WW but I had a major eating disorder when i was younger in HS-got down to 100 pounds which on my 5'6 frame was BAD. I cut that out eventually but yo-yoyed for alot.

What i fidn works for me is finding a diet that I like. Right now I am following diets from Womens Fitness RX which are great; the amount of food you're aloowed to eat is more than I usually do, but its about balance, like my nutritionist showed me to do, I also allow myself a full CHEAT DAY; usually Friday or Saturday. I eat whatever I want and dont worry about it. And if I slip up, eh it happens. I have learned not to get crazed.

BUT I DO think you need some kind of plan to be successful. Like..DO NOT buy junk food to keep IN your house. If you want a candy bar, go to the deli and buy one. Same for an ice cream sandwich etc. If I keep candy/junk in the house, it becomes too tempting. But if I know I have to walk out and take 10 min just to cure my craving..lol it usually goes away. Laziness is the mother of all discouragements againgst gorging myself.

Buy fitness magazines BUT stay away from Shape and Fitness because the women are usually soo thin and don't inspire me personally when I want to get to a healthy athletic weight that allows for hips and a booty. I like Womens Fitness Rx, Best Body and Oxygen. Seeing these shapely but NOT model skinny women inspires me and their workouts REALLy work.

Get a workout buddy-someone to shame your butt into going when you dont want to.

Go easy on yourself!!!! It takes time. Just cause you 'screw up' one day, doesnt mean its all over. Digest, then do better tommorow.

And last but not least..start joining in on my threads in the NWR Buff Brides sectiion-started a bunch of em meant to support one another.

its AMAZING how much food f*cks with you psychologically. I was like your friend C someone who was thin all her lfe and ate pretty much what she wanted. That changed slightly after I had my son and drastically when I hit 30... I can't eat everything I want anymore and it was a HUGE change for me.

NOW... I feel SO GUILTY when I eat something I love... While I'm eating it, it's euphoric but I know the bad feelings will follow. There were times I would chew on something just to taste it and spit it out as not to consume it (hows THAT for dysfunctional)

My trainer once told me I can eat WHATEVER I wanted. As long as I do it in moderation and exercise regularly. know what... he's right. As long as you maintain a healthy lifestyle and really understand what you're getting out of foods (eating more raw foods etc) you don't have to worry so much about *dieting*

good for you! and good luck =)))

I have felt that way and done exactly that but there is a time and place for WW (like right now, for me). When I spin out of control - like I have since the wedding - I look at what I'm eating, how much I'm eating and how much weight i'm piling on and I know it is time to go back to WW. I'm in my 2nd week and I feel WW has a specific purpose for me - to learn right portion sized and re-discover portion control tips and to bring awareness to the types of foods that i should be eating that was missing from my diet (veggies, fruits)...I'll do this until it becomes second hand and I'm developing good habits again, then I stop point counting and start making healthier choices myself
I never deprive myself so i don't feel bad when I fall off course - one day a week is my OFF day and if I sneak some things in during the week, I just eat healthier during the rest of the day. Like one day this past week I wanted pizza, so I had a salad and fruit for dinner...

best wishes in taking this new path. def keep us updated. counting pts cant work for everyone.

i have a diff struggle but i understand the general frustration and beating yourself up after you eat more than you should and whatnot. i have a disability that causes muscle weakness, i cannot rely on working out at all to lose weight. its really frustrating bc my doc tells me 'oh, and don't put on any weight.' I know she means its not ideal for you to gain weight bc it can make it harder for you to get around and for ppl to help you if you gain too much weight. but the blunt comment made me feel pressured. i cant gain any weight but i cant work out at all and i dont get a ton of really physical activity...hmm . Talk about needing to have the best discipline of all time w/ eating. Hence the reason off and on, I turn to WW. When Im not counting, I lose sight of proper portion and I eat WAY beyond fullness. I feel like I dont have the discipline to simply listen to my body bc my body (or I guess my mind) tells me that Im craving sweets left and right, so I eat them!! It works for me right now, WW that is. But I can definitely see how after dieting for so many years, youre looking for something else. I wish you the best!

I could have written your post also. I'm at a point of frustration and can completely identify with your thoughts. BUT, for me, if I knew when to say when I wouldn't be overweight to begin with.

That's my issue with Core. If I knew when I hit my 'comfort zone' I wouldn't be going to WW! In addition to that, when I'm on Core, foods start to become 'Core-ish' and then I start to fall off so I have to stick with points.

Good luck and let me know how you do.